Feel My Love (Second Chances Forever)

My mother would be even worse. She was an accountant, and she looked at the bottom line of everything. Likely as not, she would only let me move in if I agreed to pay rent. And the last thing I wanted to do was pay rent to my parents. And that was before considering how she would complain about the money she'd “wasted” on getting me my college degree. I'd covered some of my degree with financial aid, but my parents had pitched in a good amount of it. My mother would see that as a bad investment if I didn't manage to land a job soon.

I decided to make the best of the situation, depressing as it might be. I packed what I could, shoving most of my clothes into a suitcase, my old backpack, and the cheap wheeled hamper I usually brought with me to the laundromat. I put a couple of ads up on Craigslist, hoping to make a little money selling the bit of furniture I had. I knew I'd end up needing new furniture later on, but that was the least of my worries for the time being. I only got one response, and the guy who came by only gave me half of what I'd been asking for my bed, my couch, and the folding card table I used as a kitchen table. But I wasn't in a position where I could afford to be picky, so I took the cash and told myself to be grateful that I'd gotten anything at all. At least I'd have enough money for food for the next few days.

Friday afternoon, I left my apartment for the last time, lugging my backpack, suitcase, and rolling hamper down the street with no clear idea of where I was going. I was officially homeless, even if it hadn't quite settled in yet.

I walked for a while, just trying to clear my head. It was bitter cold outside, and I knew it would only get colder. Sleeping outside looked like a pretty frightening prospect, but I wasn't sure what other options I would have.

I eventually stopped at a coffee shop, just to warm up. After paying for a hot chocolate, I sat down and carefully counted the cash I had left in my purse. Selling my furniture had gotten me enough cash that I could afford a couple of nights in a motel, if I really wanted to. But if I did that, I'd run out of money for food. I needed a way to keep myself safe and warm and fed for a few weeks at least, while I tried to find a job. It was either that, or go crawling back to Mom and Dad and live with their shame and judgment.

While I was digging through my purse, pulling old tear-stained tissues and tossing them in the trash, I found something else that I'd almost forgotten about. Cameron's business card.

I held it in my hand, reading it over and over again. It just had his name, his cell phone number, and his email address. I didn't even know where he lived or what he did for a living. But he obviously lived somewhere nearby.

I pulled out my phone, grateful that the phone bill was still paid up through the end of the month. If things didn't turn around, I'd have to cancel my phone as well. Which would be really bad, since it would be hard to get a job if no one could call me up for an interview.

I typed Cam's number in, staring at it for a few moments, unsure if I should hit the call button. Part of me was still hurt over the way he'd walked out on me four years ago. Another part of me still had fond feelings for him. I'd had a schoolgirl crush on him when I was younger, long before we'd slept together. Those feelings hadn't completely gone away.

Maybe, I thought, I could give him another chance...

The idea of sleeping in some cold alleyway made my decision for me. I hit the call button, closing my eyes as I held my phone to my ear.

“Hello?” Cam's voice on the line sounded confused, likely because he didn't recognize the number I was calling from.

I opened my mouth, then shut it again. I pulled the phone away from my ear, my finger hovering over the hang up button.

“Hello?” Cam asked again.

I sighed, putting the phone back to my ear. I couldn't chicken out. I didn't have anyone else to call.

I paced back and forth in the coffee shop while I spoke. “Hi, Cam.”

“Ami?”

“Yeah. What's, umm...what's up?”

“Uhh, nothing. Nothing, really. I'm surprised you called. I'm glad though. Really glad.”

I didn't say anything. I wasn't sure how to explain the situation I was in. I kept pacing back and forth, almost bumping into someone who had just walked in the door. I mumbled an apology to them, grabbing my hamper and pulling it out of the way. I felt weird having my stuff here in the coffee shop. People were giving me weird looks.