Feel My Love (Second Chances Forever)

Chapter 5

Ami

I never ended up needing to get my own bed at Cam's apartment. At first I almost regretting selling my old furniture when I'd been kicked out of my old apartment, but it looked like it was all working out for the best. The second bedroom sat empty, unused and unneeded. When I started unpacking my things, it was in Cam's bedroom, leaving the room across the hall empty. Cam even cleared out some drawers and some closet space for me in the room we now shared. Just within the first few days, it was no longer feeling like I was just crashing at his place. It felt like our place. I was home.

Of course, that didn't stop me from continuing my job hunt. No matter what Cam said about the rent not being an issue, I refused to live here without contributing. I used Cam's computer every day, searching for jobs online and sending out resumes. Since I no longer had to worry about ending up on the streets, I stopped filling out applications at cheap food service jobs. I wouldn't have minded working as a waitress somewhere if that was what I needed to do to pay the bills, but I considered it a last resort. I still wanted a real career, and I had a bit more leeway now in taking the time I needed to find one.

Everything was looking like it was going well. Which I suppose meant it was inevitable that something would go wrong.

I was sitting at Cam's computer one day, doing more job searching, when my phone rang. Cam was out at work, and I had the apartment to myself, as I did most days during the week. I'd already fallen into a nice daily routine, and it was strange to have that routine be interrupted by an unexpected phone call.

I grabbed my phone and answered the call without even looking at the number on the screen, hoping it was a call about one of the resumes I'd put out.

“Hello?”

“Ami? Where are you? Is everything okay?”

I froze, pulling the phone away from my ear. I looked at the name on the screen, confirming what my ears had already told me.

It was Mark.

“Ami?” He asked again. “Ami, are you there?”

I licked my lips, not sure how to respond. I still hadn't spoken to my brother since I'd learned what he'd done. I was angry at him, but I'd made myself push that anger aside so that I could focus on more important things. Now it came surging back to the surface, boiling and hot.

I wanted to scream at him. To curse him out, and demand to know why he'd pushed Cam and I apart. To tell him what an ass he'd been for jumping to conclusions instead of actually talking to us about things.

I forced myself to calm down, though some irritation still crept through into my voice.

“What do you want, Mark?”

“Where are you? I came by your place. There's someone else living there now. Did you move?”

“You 'came by'?” I asked, frowning. I put a hand to my head, massaging my forehead to ward off the headache that was starting to form. “Mark, it's a five hour drive. What, you just decided to drop in unannounced?”

“Well, there's a comic convention in Allentown this weekend. I got tickets.”

“Oh, and what, you thought you could just crash at my place instead of getting a hotel room?” That was typical of my brother. He could be caring and protective at times, but he never thought things through. Sometimes I wondered if he even realized when he could be a burden on people.

“What's the matter with you?” he asked. “I got you a ticket, too. I thought it would be a surprise. And I wanted you to meet someone.”

“Well, I've had my fill of surprises lately.” I got up from the computer and started pacing around the living room. I was filled with too much energy, and didn't know what to do with it.

“What's that supposed to mean?” Mark asked.

“Just...just leave me alone.”

“Ami, what's going on? Why won't you talk to me?”

I stopped, throwing my head back and staring at the ceiling. There was too much to say, and I couldn't sort through my thoughts well enough to say any of it. “I've got to go,” I said.

“Ami, wait...”

I hung up the phone, then threw it on the couch. I sat down, leaning against the cushions, fighting off tears. Part of me felt like I was being unfair, shutting Mark out over something that had happened four years ago. The bigger part of me felt like punching my brother in the face. It felt like the least he deserved, after what he'd done.

I was only partway calmed down later that day when Cam came home. He walked in the door, took one look at my face, and asked, “What's wrong?”