“Yeah, but that's all right with me, Mrs. Klein. Hardin loves me no matter what my body looks like. Right, babe?” She flirts her eyes up to Hardin and grins.
He kisses her forehead, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. “Absolutely.” He slides his hands down to her belly and holds it. “I love you no matter what.”
They kiss each other, forcing jealousy to flood to my veins. I want that. I want to be able to swoon over Brand. I want to be able to hold his hand, lay in his arms, and kiss him if I want to.
This feeling of it being wrong is killing me inside. I don't like it. I don't like feeling like I have to hide what I want.
Millie studies my face. “Kel, let’s go for a walk. Babe, we'll be back in a few.” She kisses the back of his hand, and he kisses the top of her head. “Come on, let's go.”
“Are you sure? I mean, shouldn't you just take it easy?”
“I'll be fine. I'm pregnant, it's not like I have a major injury or something.”
We walk side by side up the strip between the cars. She doesn't say anything until we're far enough away that no one can hear us.
“What's wrong?” she asks.
“Wrong? Nothing's wrong.”
“Bullshit. What is it? Did something happen?”
I can't look her in the eyes, so I keep them down on the ground. “Something might have happened. . .” I let the last word draw out, unable to hide the smile.
“You dirty bird!” she yells and gives me a shove with her shoulder. “So, why don't you look happy then? I mean you should be glowing.”
“I don't know,” I answer, shrugging my shoulder. “I want to be happy, but I just know it won't ever work. My parents will never accept him. There's not a chance in hell. They'll lock me in my room for life.”
Millie cocks a brow and purses her lips. “Why does this feel like déjà vu? It's like we've had this conversation before.” I give her a slanted look. Millie rolls her eyes, and asks, “Do you like him?”
“Of course I like him.”
“Then help me out here. I don't understand your resistance.”
“It's just, I see you and Hardin together, the way you guys look at each other. I can feel the love you have for each other. And I want that too, I just don't think I can have it.”
Millie rubs her belly as she looks down at her bump. “It feels good, Kel, giving yourself to someone and not caring what anyone else thinks. It's life changing.”
I frown. “What am I supposed to do then?”
“You want my honest opinion?” she asks.
“Yes. I don't want you to lie. Tell me what you think I should do?”
“I think you should go for it,” she says bluntly. “I'm pretty sure you were the one to give me that advice, and that's what brought me to Hardin. I ignored what I was brought up to think and did what felt right. If you like this guy, then don't think about your parents. Think about you.”
She's right.
So why is it so hard for me to see it? Why does this feel so difficult?
“Look, I know you'll make the right choice.”
“What if I don't know what the right choice is?”
We make our way around the loop and walk back to where my father's car is parked. Hardin stands up from the chair he's in the second he sees Millie, his eyes lighting up.
Millie reaches for my arm and stops us for a second before we get any closer. “All I'm saying, Kel, is that your advice was exactly what I needed to hear. So, maybe you need to listen to yourself, too.”
She waddles a little ahead of me and into Hardin's arms. He hugs her tight and kisses the top of her head.
They snuggle each other lovingly, making goo-goo eyes and giving each other light kisses. My heart fills with need and desire to feel Brand's eyes on me like that, and his arms holding me with the same care.
I look around and realize that no one else is here. It's just my brother and Hardin. Both my parents are gone, and Brand is nowhere to be seen.
“Where is everyone?” I ask.
“Your dad went off to find some guy he knows, your mom went to powder her face as she put it, and the other guy—Brent, is that his name?”
“Brand,” I correct him.
“Right, Brand. He didn't say where he was going, just that he'd be back. Hey,” he says as he looks down at Millie, “I know you just went for a short walk, but you want to go for another? I'd love to check this place out.”
“Yeah, sure, I still have ankles, so they're not too swollen yet.” She holds her leg out and twists it side to side. Millie nudges her head in my direction. “Go find him,” she says, her voice a whisper.