Is he saying that I'm a mistake?
My heart cramps and cracks. I can feel it crumbling inside my chest as Brand hangs his head and walks off. He thinks that what happened between us is wrong. He's wishing last night never happened.
It all makes sense now. There's no reason for him to protect my brother. To save a kid who made a poor choice, a boy who has no idea what it means to be a man.
This isn't what I want. I'd rather my father be angry for the rest of his life than give up the one person who makes me feel alive. Brand gives me something I've never found anywhere else.
He makes me feel full when I'm empty. He makes me feel happy when I'm blue.
He makes me feel like I'm the only girl in the world.
I'm not ready to give all that up.
And I'm not ready to let him just walk away.
8
Brand
I can't even look at her. It hurts too much.
The pain swirling in her eyes is like a storm. Thunder booms and rain pours as her eyes glaze over and the color dims. I don't want to be the burden of her sorrow. And I don't want to be the reason the light goes out in her eyes.
But I know if I don't do this, if I don't take the fall, her brother will destroy her life. That's not something I'm going to stand by and let happen. I did what I needed to to save her.
I call a taxi on my phone as I walk up to the main road. Mr. Klein is still reeling in the background. He's yelling and screaming so loudly no one is even willing to try to calm him down.
How could they anyway? What do you say to a man whose prized possession, his trophy winning car, is now in shambles on the back of a tow truck?
Nothing. That's what.
“Brand!” Kelsie calls out.
I ignore her, but I can see her running toward me from the corner of my eye. My heart is in my throat. It doesn't matter what I want. She deserves more. More than a life with a guy who's just getting by. More than a life where her family looks down on her, and refuses to let her back in.
Come on. Where the hell is the taxi?
“Brand, wait!” she yells louder.
I'm pacing in front of the entrance, praying the taxi gets here before she does. There's nothing she can say that's going to change my mind. I'm doing this. And I'm doing this for her. Being selfish is easy but being selfless is what will set her free.
“Brand!” she calls out, her voice so close I can feel the air slip down the back of my neck.
The yellow taxi pulls into the breakdown lane, and I don't think twice. I get in, shutting the door quickly behind me, and telling the driver to go. He gives me a look in the mirror, but I don't have time to explain.
“Just go,” I demand.
The driver looks briefly in his side view mirror, as if he's debating if he should wait for the running girl. Then he punches the gas and pulls back onto the road. I let out the breath I've been holding in, thinking I'll finally be able to relax now.
I'm leaving, and Kelsie is behind me. Our time together, as brief as it was, will only be a memory now. The pain I feel tearing my chest apart will fade, and our lives will go on.
It's for the best. I try to convince myself that this is good for both of us, but I know deep inside that I'm lying to myself.
I'm giving up on my own happiness to appease a man who only cares for himself, and for a boy who doesn't know the first thing about owning up to his own mistakes.
My head falls back and I look out window, letting the trees speeding past put me in a trance.
The taxi smells like fresh pine and cigarettes. A mix that's not so pleasant, and slightly burns my nostrils. The bench seat in the back is a faded blue leather, with wisps of stuffing poking through small holes.
“Where you heading?” the driver asks.
“I need to go to Carter House Inn and then to the bus station.”
He nods, letting his eyes drift back to the road. The engine hums under the hood, and every time we hit a small bump it sounds like he's running over a bird.
“Your struts are gone. You should probably fix them,” I say.
“My what?” he asks.
“That squeaking noise you hear, it's your struts.”
“Oh, thanks, I'll—”
Honk! Honk!
Jerking up in my seat, I twist to look out the back window. Kelsie is flying up behind us in her parents’ SUV.
“Um, sir,” the driver says. “I think they want us to pull over.”