After I buy Lucy not one but four pairs of new jeans, two new sweaters, a purse, and boots she couldn’t live without, we meet Dr. Josh for cake pops.
He’s at a table when we arrive, cake pops already purchased and waiting for us.
“Lucy Loo!” He jumps out of his chair when he sees her walking toward the table. “What is this?” He hugs her. “Oh my god! I’m so proud of you, darling.”
Darling? She’s not his darling. What the fuck?
“Thank you. Looks like we can sit anywhere we want at the next Royals game.”
Fantastic. He’s now her game buddy.
She takes a seat next to me as Josh kisses my wife.
Yes … I’m still calling her that. Stubborn as hell? Probably. But I’ve run out of fucks to give by this point in my life.
As Lucy devours her first cake pop, Tatum reaches deep into her handbag. “Lucy, Josh and I have something to tell you.”
Lucy glances up, licking her lips. “What’s that?”
Tatum pulls out her diamond ring and slips it on her finger. “We’re engaged.” She smiles and so does Josh as he slides his arm around her, claiming her.
And I’m okay with that for now. I’m still certain her last orgasm was with me.
“Engaged?” Lucy says like she’s never heard the word. “You’re … getting married?” Her nose wrinkles as she cocks her head to the side.
My thoughts exactly.
Tatum chuckles. “Yes. That’s what engaged means. I thought you’d be happy for us, sweetie.”
“I’m …” Lucy shifts her attention to me as if I’m going to share my thoughts.
Tatum and Josh also stare at me, but they clearly don’t want my thoughts on the matter.
Clearing my throat, I find a fabricated smile. “So much great news in one day, huh, Luce? It’s almost too much to take.”
Her eyes narrow at me. I’m not sure what she expects me to say. But more than that, I can’t figure out what’s going on in her head, but it gives me chills because I know she’s been holding on to her little secret, waiting for the right time to share it with Tatum.
I don’t think now is the right time.
“Lucy …” Josh reaches across the table and rests his hand on hers. “I should have asked for your permission.” He shakes his head. “I … I don’t know what I was thinking. But you need to know that I love your mom more than anything. And I love you like you’re my own daughter. So I hope you’re okay with this.”
Oh … where to start …
First, he doesn’t love her more than I love her. Not even close.
Second, he doesn’t have kids, so comparing his love to her like a love he’d have for his own daughter is just nonsense. It would be like loving the neighbor’s dog like my own when I’ve never owned a dog. You just can’t make those comparisons. I realize it might sound like I’m splitting hairs here, but the details matter. At least … they matter to me.
Again, Lucy looks to me like she might consider being okay with it if I’m okay with it. So here we go again … I find myself lying to Lucy to make her feel better about something and to make Tatum feel less guilty. This martyr shit is exhausting.
“They’re thinking early summer for the wedding. I’m sure that means a new dress for you,” I say to Lucy.
Lucy continues to inspect me. I really don’t know what else to say. After a few seconds, she nods slowly. “Well, congratulations.”
That’s my girl. I internally laugh because her congratulations is about as sincere as my enthusiasm for her getting a new dress to wear to a wedding that makes my soul feel drained of its life.
Josh bites. Hook. Line. And sinker. “Thank you, so much, Lucy Loo.” I think he has actual tears in his eyes.
Tatum doesn’t buy it, but she also doesn’t call Lucy out in front of Josh. She just smiles through gritted teeth.
I drive Lucy home, and no shocker, Tatum follows us. I hope she can let this day go back to being about Lucy and her walking. But something tells me, she’s on a mission to make Lucy be happier for her—which is just sad that Josh doesn’t make her happy enough so she needs everyone else’s approval and enthusiasm.
“What’s Mom doing?” Lucy asks as we pull into the driveway, and she sees Tatum pull in behind us.
“I think she’s just a little concerned that you weren’t sincere enough with your congratulations.”
Lucy rolls her eyes. “She loves you, Dad. Like … what is she even doing? Josh is nice, but he’s not you. Why would he want someone else’s sloppy seconds?”
“Lucy!” I put the truck into Park and gawk at her. I don’t know whether to be grateful that she’s on my side or mortified that she just referred to her mom as sloppy seconds. Maybe I don’t understand how her generation uses that term, but it doesn’t exactly sound like a compliment to Josh or Tatum.