“Violet,” he warns.
“Fine.” I smirk. “I’ll cancel all four of them,” I say, quickly shutting the back glass door behind me.
My fake smile falls from my lips as I head toward the pool house. That helpless feeling that consumed me that night Adam shoved me into the back of a van starts to consume me. There is nothing worse than feeling helpless. It’s why I needed those guns.
My emotions are all over the place. They have been since that kiss two days ago. I haven’t seen Sebastian since.
It annoys me when it shouldn’t. I’m the one that pushes him away all the time. But normally he comes right back. What if this time was the final straw? I try not to dwell on the idea. It is what I want, after all—to push him away so that he doesn’t get stuck in this life with me. One where I’m always afraid and looking over my shoulder.
Sooner or later Sebastian would get tired of my baggage. He might think he could handle it at first, but as time ticked by it would start to get to him while I fell more in love with him to only get my heart broken. I am already broken enough.
I slow my pace when I see one of the black four-wheelers parked out front of the pool house. I can’t help the tickle of excitement inside of me knowing Sebastian is here.
Not seeing him at the front of the house, I venture around to the side and see him checking my windows. I stand there and watch him. He knows I’m here. I don’t think anyone could sneak up on him.
“Everything looks good,” he says when he gets to the last window.
“I’d hope so since you checked them last week.”
He makes it so hard to push him away when he’s always going out of his way to check on me. I know he’s the best at what he does, but I think he goes to the extreme for me. Part of me worries this all could be some hero complex.
“I’m thorough.” I bet he’s that way in everything he does. Now all I want to do is kiss him again. He walks over toward me. “You’re blushing.” His thumb brushes my cheek.
“Are you only here to check the windows?” I ask.
He needs to go before I throw myself at him, thinking a second kiss wouldn’t be so bad. It would be if I turn into a dork again. I could barely string a sentence together after that kiss. It showed my lack of experience when it came to men. That might be why he was gone for so long.
“No. I was waiting for you. I got us set up to train.” I start to protest, but he talks over me. “If you want a gun, you’re going to know how to use it.” He steps in closer to me. I can feel the heat of his body. “You wouldn’t want to miss, would you? One good shot is all it would take.”
His eyes stay locked with mine. A weird satisfaction fills me at the thought of being able to protect myself. Some of that helplessness I’ve been feeling starts to fade away.
“Okay,” I agree. “Can you teach me self-defense too?”
A sexy smile spreads across his face. “I can do that.” He tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear.
As I stare up into his heated eyes, I realize that maybe I’m the one that actually can’t do that.
Chapter Five
Sebastian
“First thing is that self-defense is about creating space between you and the attacker.” I motion the air between me and Violet. “You never want to engage in a fight when you can run. These techniques are about getting away, not bringing your attacker down. If you can kick him, then kick him. Don’t get into arm’s reach to bash his nose. If you have a ring on, make sure that you’re striking him with that ring. If you have keys, use those. Now make a fist.”
We’re in the workout space they have in their ten-car garage. It’s got every machine you can think of, a bank of mirrors, and two punching bags. There’s also a large, padded mat which is where our training is going to take place. Past the workout machines is a fully stocked bar, and on the other side of that a seating area with a television that overlooks the pool. Violet’s space, her pool house, is on the other side.
This estate is a small compound with everything that Violet needs, but it’s still too small for her. There’s something inside of her that says if she can’t leave the property, she’s not a real person or she’s not a person of worth. I don’t fully understand where she’s coming from. I’d take her in any form she’d allow me to have her. That’s what I’m doing right now. I can’t have anything more than a kiss, but at least I have that. Maybe in a few years, it’ll be more. I can be patient. I don’t have anything but time.