The quiet threat in his voice holds promises I can’t make sense of, promises to punish and protect. The mixed signals are confusing.
He leans closer. “You know what I think? I think that stunt you pulled deserves a spanking, and I’ll happily deliver. Your choice. You can either let the cat out of the bag, or I can lay you out over this hood with your panties around your ankles.”
My cheeks heat with angry annoyance but also at the image he’s describing. However, a spanking isn’t where I’d like to go with him, so I say, “I was going to stay under the radar.”
I don’t give him more. I don’t want him to know what I was planning, because I may still have to put that plan into action.
His eyes flare. “Under the radar? Alone, with the cops on your tail? Do you have any idea how dangerous that plan was?” He drops his hand to my hip. “Wolfe isn’t stupid. Eventually he would’ve sniffed you out. Then what? Have you thought about that? Wolfe doesn’t play by the rules. He’s the kind of cop that plays dirty.”
“You don’t have much faith in my abilities, do you?”
“Not in escaping the whole police force.”
“Yet you do.”
“I have the benefit of experience. Years of it.”
“I didn’t exactly have the chance to do a few practice runs.”
He widens his stance and locks his hands around my waist to pull me between his legs. “You’ll never do anything so stupid again. Understand?”
“What do you want me to say? Yes, sir?”
“That’s a start.” He chuckles when I roll my eyes. Suddenly turning serious, he cocks his head toward the river and its magical sunset. “You can be happy here.”
“Like you?”
“Yes, like me. You know why? Because I think this is you too. I think you need the open space as much as I do. That’s why I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt. I’m not going to lock you up or take away your privileges. I’m not going to put a guard on your ass or lock the kitchen knives in the safe. I’m going to give you freedom within these fences, and if you prove to me you deserve that freedom, I’ll extend your boundaries.”
He puts our mouths so close together only a breath of air separates us. “I’ll even give you a little head start in this game of trust—the advantage of information. This town, its transport systems, and every government official stationed in the vicinity belong to me. If you run, you won’t get farther than the airport.”
His voice lowers with intent. “Know this. If you do run, I’ll slap a pair of ankle cuffs on you so fast you won’t have time to say my name. There’ll be no more playing nice. I’ll tie you to my bed if that’s what I have to do.” Cupping my jaw, he delivers the threat with a soft kiss on my lips. “The choice is yours.”
The heavy blow is dealt with tender words. They sift down like snowflakes to settle cold in my heart. I tremble as he pushes me down onto the hood and leans over me.
“What will it be, Cas?”
He’s not asking if I’m on board with this limited version of freedom. When he unbuttons my jeans, he’s asking a different question, and, as always, when he slips his hand into my underwear, he gets the truth.
Chapter 5
Ian
Despite what Leon and Ruben think, despite what Cas may hope, she’s a new permanent in my life. I’m old enough to have learned if a man wants to keep a woman happy, he should let her in. Jewels and flowers aren’t going to cut it. They’re niceties but not what matters.
I’ve never told anyone about my past, not even Ruben. Leon knows what he remembers from our time in the hovel we called our childhood home, but not even he knows everything. I’ve never told him about the beatings I took for him when our lousy, no-good father was drunk. What’s the point? Knowing isn’t going to do him any good. He had enough to deal with protecting himself from the backhands and punches. Neither does he know about the men I had to suck off in dark alleys so we could eat. He doesn’t need the knowledge of where our bread came from during those first days of being homeless.
That’s how I perfected stealing, first pickpocketing and later shoplifting. That’s what drove me to go bigger and get the hell out of Johannesburg. What I did is nobody’s business, but I won’t deny Cas any answers. Whatever questions she has, I’ll give her the truth. I’ll give her these difficult parts of myself to make up for what I can’t give her—a choice. However, I meant when I said she could be happy here. I feel it in my bones. She wasn’t just made for me physically. She’s my match in every way.