For a moment I was ecstatic, and then I realized that there was something between us that needed to be addressed.
“Devlin,” I said. “I think we should make certain things clear… that is to say, I think we should take certain things off the table.”
“Urgh… I don’t like where this is heading.”
“We can’t live together and get involved with one another.”
“We’re not involved with one another,” he reminded me.
“And we can’t blur those lines going forward,” I said, trying to ignore my intense attraction to him. “Agreed?”
Devlin frowned and I saw the internal conflict in his eyes. After a moment he nodded. “Agreed,” he said, but his heart didn’t sound in it.
The sad fact was that I needed this apartment far more than I needed a boyfriend and I knew that Devlin knew that too.
“Ok,” I said. “I guess that’s settled.”
“Well then,” Devlin said, with a smile I couldn’t quite decipher. “Welcome to your new home… roomie.”
11
Devlin
Zoey was moving in today. She had brought some of her stuff the day before, but she had yet to spend a night in… our new apartment. It felt so weird to say that, but I liked the way it sounded too. We had agreed to take certain things off the table when Zoey had agreed to move in here. We had decided not to pursue a romantic relationship.
I had agreed to that only because I knew she needed a place to stay badly. If I were being completely honest, I had ulterior motives though. Living together provided me with a unique position in Zoey’s life. I would be there when she woke up; I would be there when she got home in the evenings. I would be her friend, her constant companion. We could bounce ideas off of one another; we could exchange views, thoughts, artistic vision and maybe somewhere along the way… I could convince Zoey that I was perfect for her.
I knew it would be complicated since we were living together, but my attraction to her was impossible to deny. I thought about staying true to my word and setting aside any hopes of us ever starting a romantic relationship, but I knew a lost cause when I saw it. She was just too… interesting to me. She was just too beautiful for me to turn off my brain and let it go.
Of course, I knew I had to play the long game. She was obviously vulnerable. She had a lot on her plate, as did I. And I thought giving it some time was a good idea. That way we could build a foundation of friendship, and I could woo her when the time was right. Maybe I should have felt dishonorable concocting my diabolical plan, but I just felt wired. I was just so excited that Zoey had answered my ad and she was now my new roommate. It just felt right.
I kept checking the clock. I had to leave to report to community service soon, but I also wanted to be here when Zoey showed up with her last suitcase. I was moving around some of my work to make more room in the living room when I heard the knock on the door. I rushed to answer it.
“Hey, you,” I said, grabbing her suitcase and bringing it into the apartment.
“Hey,” Zoey smiled.
She was wearing a laid-back denim jacket over a white dress; just the right blend of edgy and angelic. Her hair hung loosely over one shoulder, but she had two thin braids hugging one side of her head. I wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked but I stopped myself at the last moment. I needed to be subtle and commenting on her looks at this point would only weird her out and make her feel uncomfortable.
“Welcome to your new apartment,” I said. “Shall I take the suitcase to your room?”
“Please,” Zoey nodded.
I wheeled the suitcase in there while she followed close behind. I had managed to clear the room of all my art supplies and most of my paintings. There were still two that I had left up, mostly because I didn’t have a place to put them. They were larger paintings; one was a profile of a young woman bending her head down in prayer with a delicate veil covering half her head. The second painting depicted a lonely tree with low hanging fruit that stood in the middle of a large meadow. There was only the lone silhouette of a child reaching up to grab one of the fruits.
Since I had used the room as a workspace, there was no bed. I had set up a makeshift mattress for Zoey in the middle of the room until a bed could be sorted out.
“I can’t believe you did all this for me,” Zoey said, and I took that touched smile she gave me as a very good sign.
“You wouldn’t have had a place to sleep if I hadn’t put this together.”
Zoey smiled. “Thank you; this is really nice of you.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “I’m sorry about the paintings… I just haven’t had a place to put them yet.”
“You don’t have to move them out,” Zoey said immediately, turning to me with wide eyes. “I love both those paintings. I don’t mind keeping them here… in fact, I would actually really love it.”
“Yeah?” I said, thrilled that she liked my work.