“Well… wouldn’t you have run?” I asked.
Zoey closed her eyes for a moment. “I can’t believe that after all this time you don’t know me at all,” she said. “I told you before Devlin, I believe in second chances. My brother did drugs at one point; did you know that?”
“I… yes I knew that.”
“He thought about dealing too,” she went on. “I understand the kind of desperation that makes a person think that turning to that kind of life is the only choice they have. Because sometimes… it is the only choice they have. I get why you decided to start dealing… your parents cut you off, you needed money fast, you needed a job and you wanted to paint, and you couldn’t do both. I would have understood all that. That’s not why I’m angry… and hurt.”
“Then—”
“I’m angry and hurt,” Zoey said, cutting me off. “Because you lied to me. I gave you my love and my trust, and you betrayed both by lying to me.”
“I never meant to do that.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Zoey said, standing up. “Because you did in the end.”
She turned and made for her room. I stood up and called out to her, hating the tension that lay between us. It was choking me.
“Zoey.”
“What?”
“Are you leaving me?” I asked.
She sighed. “No,” she replied.
“No?” I repeated, in shock.
“I’m going to take some time to wrap my head around all this,” Zoey told me. “I’m probably going to be angry for a long time. But I spent the whole night thinking and I realized that despite everything, I love you and I think we have something special. I’m not going to give up on you just because you made one lapse in judgment.”
It felt like Zoey had just lifted this massive weight off my chest and suddenly, I could breathe again. She wasn’t going to leave me.
“I told you,” Zoey continued. “I believed in second chances.”
I smiled. “Thank you,” I said. “For not giving up on me.”
“What time do you want to leave tonight?” Zoey asked.
I frowned. “What?”
“It’s Saturday… we have that dinner with your parents,” she reminded me.
“Fuck… you’re still willing to go to that?” I asked, in amazement.
“I know how important it is to you,” Zoey said.
“You are… amazing,” I said, awestruck by her grace and selflessness.
Zoey sighed. “Just promise me, Devlin… no more lies.”
I felt my heart constrict painfully in my chest and again I was reminded of the last secret I was keeping from her. I looked at her tired eyes, and the hurt still etched on her face, and I knew I didn’t have the courage to tell her. I hoped that this wouldn’t backfire on me again. I hoped that I could get rid of my last bag of pot and quietly put the life behind me once and for all, without Zoey ever finding out.
So I looked Zoey in the eye and nodded. “I promise,” I said.
28
Zoey
I put on the dress I had picked out especially for the dinner at Devlin’s parents’ house. It was a black dress with a fitted bodice that cinched in my waist before falling downwards in a flowing A-line skirt. The sleeves were made of delicate see-through lace with beaded embellishments.