He continued to talk. The chatter around me thrummed on, people laughing, someone cheered, Billy’s mouth was moving, and I could hear him, but it sounded like he was speaking to me underwater. There wasn’t even an accurate title to put what Ian had done to me—he hadn’t cheated on me, hadn’t lied to me—I supposed the most accurate thing would be to say he used me (just like Annie), but that didn’t seem quite right, either. We hadn’t really discussed anything; I had just assumed that it was going to go somewhere that it wasn’t. And if Ian hadn’t been running late and Billy hadn’t ended up coming here and telling me all this, who knows when I would have found out.
Billy was still talking.
“I’m sorry,” I said, grabbing my purse and standing up. “I . . . I’ve got to go; I just remembered something I have to do. I’m really sorry.”
“Oh, sure,” he said, looking unbothered by my sudden departure. “I’ll see you around, I hope.”
It was only as I was walking away from the table, the exit suddenly a long way’s off, that I realized Ian could come breezing through the door at any second, and if he did before I made it out, what would I say? There was no way I’d be able to pretend that nothing was wrong, but I didn’t want to have some sort of confrontation right here at Failte.
I didn’t need to worry about that, though. I made it to the door, pushed through, and was then out on the sidewalk, the evening air still warm. I looked both ways before I hurried off, not breathing a sigh of relief, though, until I was around the block and in my car. I thought about texting him that I wasn’t going to be there, but I decided against it. He’d want to know why I’d left, and I just wasn’t going to get into that with him right now.
I didn’t want to go home though. Just the thought of having to be on the lookout for Noah made me feel like my head was going to explode. I started to drive, just so in case Ian was nearby, but I felt through my purse for my phone and called Caroline.
“Can we meet up?” I said when she answered.
“Sure. Where are you? Failte?”
“No, I want to meet somewhere else.” Somewhere that he wouldn’t be likely to show up, if he ever showed up from whatever it was he was doing.
“Okay,” she said, “I’m dying for some pad Thai. Want to go to Orchid House?”
“Sounds good. I’ll meet you there.”
I tossed the phone down and took a deep breath, trying to loosen my grip on the steering wheel. I could tell that tears were trying to force their way out of my eyes, but I refused to let them materialize. I blinked really fast, and at a stoplight, I rubbed both my eyes really hard, like I had a bad case of hay fever.
The light turned green and I started to go again. I might be able to keep the tears at bay, but I couldn’t keep the onslaught of thoughts. I hadn’t necessarily thought that I’d lose my virginity to the guy I would end up marrying, or that it would be this totally magical moment that I would always cherish, but I had hoped it would at least be a little special. But apparently, it was just what Ian did with the secretaries he hired.
I never wanted to see him again.
The problem was, though, I couldn’t just quit. Well, I could, but I knew what the job market was like out there, and I’d barely gotten any call backs after I’d been fired from the salon. Quitting with no backup plan wasn’t a smart idea.
I was at least able to find a parking spot right on the same block as Orchid House, and Caroline was there, waiting at a table for me. She looked a little worried when I slid into the seat across from her.
“Is everything okay?” she asked. “You sounded a little frazzled on the phone.”
“No, everything is not okay. I was just at Failte—?
?
“Oh, I would’ve met you down there, I didn’t realize you were there.”
“No, no, I had to leave. I was supposed to meet Ian there, and he texted to say that he was running a little late because he had to do something. He didn’t say what, though. So I was sitting there, and who walks in but Billy. And he comes over and sits down, and we start talking, and then he tells me how Ian used to sleep with the previous girl that worked there, but then he fired her. I’m not sure why he fired her. But that doesn’t really matter. What matters is the fact that he’s basically doing with me the same thing he did with the girl before!”
“Ew.” Caroline made a face. “That’s not cool.”
“No, it’s not. So I got up and left before he showed up. I don’t even know what to think.” We stopped talking about it when our waitress came over with glasses of water. She asked if we wanted a drink, and I was about to say no, but then Caro ordered us two Thai iced teas.
“We need drinks,” she said when I started to protest. “At least one drink; maybe two.”
“Fine,” I said. Caroline ordered her food, too, but I decided to just stick with the drink. I didn’t think I’d be able to stomach anything else right now.
After the waitress left, Caroline leaned her elbows on the table and rubbed her eyes. “I told you,” she said. “I knew there was a reason I didn’t like him.”
“I can’t believe I was so stupid. I mean, I fell for him hard. And all of that shit he was saying. It’s pathetic. I hate myself.”
She smiled and patted my arm. “Don’t be too hard on yourself. He is hot—I’ll give him that much—and sometimes it is hard to resist a handsome face. But at least you found this out now before it got any further.”
I winced. “Um, yeah . . . That’s the other thing. I kind of didn’t mention it to you.”