In the Dark (The Rules 2)

And I lost it.

I head up the stairs and go to Shep’s bedroom, knocking lightly on the partially open door before I peek my head around it. Jade is sitting on the edge of her bed, scrolling through her phone, her head bent, long wavy red hair falling in front of her face. “Hey,” I say.

She looks up, tucking her hair behind her ear as a small smile curls her lips. “Hey yourself. Come in.”

Walking inside the room, I stop just in front of her and her smile fades. I need to keep it light. Else I’ll be all twisted up and nervous and I’m sick of feeling that what. “What’s with all the seriousness?”

Jade stands, her gaze meeting mine. “It’s about Lucy.”

All lightness seeps out of me. My heart is in my throat. I brace myself for the blow of bad news. God, maybe she’s left town for good. Maybe she’s so embarrassed and hates me so much she couldn’t stand to be here anymore. Or worse, maybe she can’t afford it considering she’s about to have a baby so she went back home.

I can change that. I can give her whatever she needs. I have all the money in the world. And if she’s carrying my baby, I will ensure my child will never want for anything. Who cares what my parents will think. Fuck them.

The most important person in my life is Lucy.

“Is she okay?” I ask, my voice choked up, my head hurting. I’ve had a perpetual headache for days and I swear to God it just got ten times worse.

“She’s fine.” She inhales deeply before she says, “She’s not pregnant.”

I freeze, my heart now swimming in my stomach. I feel nauseous. “She’s not?”

Jade slowly shakes her head but doesn’t say a word. And that sends my brain into overdrive.

“Wh-what happened?” All the options flash through my brain and God, I hope she’s okay.

“She started her period. She was just…late I guess.” Jade shrugs. “I thought you should know.”

“Did she want me to know?” I ask eagerly, like an asshole. I need some sort of clue that she still cares, that she wanted me to know what’s going on.

“No. She hasn’t mentioned you at all to me.” Jade frowns. “I’m sorry, Gabe. I think she’s trying to move on from this the only way she knows how.”

“By forgetting I exist,” I say bitterly.

“She thinks you’re doing the same thing,” Jade points out but that doesn’t make me feel any better.

No, it just makes me feel worse.

“Okay, well.” I blow out a harsh breath. Run a hand through my hair. I don’t know what to say, what to do. I’ve fucked this all up and I can’t fix it. “I’m gonna head downstairs and apologize to Tristan.”

“Let him apologize first,” Jade calls after me as I head toward the door.

I stop and turn to look at her. “What?”

“Let him apologize to you first. He’s the one who started it. He needs to learn humility. He reacts first and feels bad later. It’s a bad habit we need to help him break,” she explains.

I smile and it’s genuine. I’ve been beating myself up over our fight but Jade’s right. Tristan did fucking start it like he always does, the jerk. “You’re right. I’ll let him grovel first, then I’ll apologize for what I did.”

“Perfect.” She smiles and approaches me, wrapping her arms around my middle and giving me a hug. “I’m sorry Gabe. Maybe you could approach her eventually but I’d give her some time first. She’s hurting.”

“So am I,” I whisper, squeezing her waist before I step away from her. “Thanks for letting me know what’s going on, Jade. I appreciate it.”

“You deserved to know. Now go talk to Tristan and get it over with.” She shoves me toward the door. “Go.”

I practically run down the stairs, stopping short in the kitchen when I see Tristan sitting at the counter looking miserable. “Hey,” I say.

Shep quietly exits the kitchen as Tristan lifts his head to look at me. “I feel bad, bro.”

“You should.” I approach the counter, bracing my hands on the edge of the smooth granite surface. “But I feel bad too. I shouldn’t have hit you.”

“You had every right to hit me. I’m an asshole for what I did. I’m sure Lucy hates me.” Tristan hangs his head, looking miserable.

“Lucy’s too busy hating me to worry about you,” I say as I sit on the stool beside Tristan’s. “I fucked up that relationship.”

“I didn’t help matters. Is she okay? Like…with the baby?” he asks.

“She’s not pregnant.” I should be happy. Relieved. I’m too young for a baby and so is Lucy.

But I don’t feel happy. I’m…sad. Pissed that I ruined this. That I reacted like a scared idiot instead of the brave man that Lucy needed me to be.

I failed her. And she’ll probably never forgive me.

“Oh.” Tristan’s gaze meets mine once more. “That’s a good thing, right?”

“Yeah. I’m not ready for a kid.” I sigh. Ain’t that the truth. I proved that with my reaction to all of this. “But I miss Lucy. We’re finished and I…I hate that.”

“Are we finished? Business-wise?” When I frown at him he shrugs. “Shep told me what you said. I don’t blame you. I know you haven’t been happy with the casino for a while. It’s at your house so you have to deal with it all the time and business has gotten progressively slower. I get why you’re sick of it. And I totally understand why you’re sick of me.”