“It was fine until you told me that you were breaking up with me,” she says.
“What took you so long to get home?”
“Don’t you fucking play coy with me,” she says. “I know it was you that sent those messages to Ty.”
“Actually,” I chuckle, “it wasn’t, but that doesn’t really matter. What matters is that you lied to me. You never had any intention of breaking it off with Ty.”
“He has time for me,” she says. “He makes time for me.”
“I’ve tried making time for you,” I tell her. “I’ve tried really fucking hard, but every time I tell you we should plan something or every time I do something special for you, the best I ever get in return is a lukewarm no.”
“Well, that’s because you-” she starts.
“You know, before we get into a blame game that we both know I’m going to win, why don’t we, you know, not?” I ask. “It’s not going to change anything and it’s just going to piss us both off more. You need to find somewhere to go.”
“I have somewhere to go,” she says.
“Well, I know you’re not going to be moving in with Ty,” I say. “How is his wife, anyway? Let me guess, he’s still giving you the ‘I’ll leave her, but now’s just not the time’ line, right?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“It doesn’t really matter,” I tell her. “Let me know when you’ve found an apartment. Until then, I’ll give you some money for a hotel. I don’t want you or your crap in my house.”
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“You’re such an asshole,” she says. “Whatever happened to ‘we’ll work it out,’ huh? Whatever happened to ‘we’ll get through this?’”
“I don’t know,” I answer, “what did happen to all of that? From what I can tell, you didn’t even bother taking a break from him.”
“You know what, you don’t know anything about it,” she says. “He loves me and he is going to leave his wife for me. We’re in love.”
“Then why are you so pissed?” I ask. “If everything’s going to work out with the two of you, why does it bother so much that we’re over?”
“This has been going on longer than you know. You think this just started a while ago? Well, you’re wrong. Why do you think I wanted you to get a night job? It was so I could go out and be with him.”
“Yeah, I figured that out,” I tell her. “Although, it did take you getting sloppy before I did.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” she asks.
“I think you wanted to get caught,” I tell her. “I think you knew that you were doing the wrong thing, but you weren’t willing to stop, either, so you started leaving a trail for me to follow.” I sigh. “What happened, Melissa? When did you stop caring?”
She bites the inside of her cheek.
“I guess it really doesn’t matter. Anyway, I’d like your key back now,” I tell her.
“I’m not giving you a damn thing until I know I have all of my things,” she says.
“Go ahead and look through your boxes,” I tell her. “Look through the apartment. I didn’t throw anything out. I’m done being vindictive; I just want you out of here.”
“I can’t believe you’re throwing me out on the street.”
“I’m not,” I tell her. “I already said that I’d put you up in a hotel until you find another apartment. I’m not throwing you out onto the street. I’m just throwing you out.”
She reaches in her pocket, takes her key off of her keyring, and throws it onto the floor.
“Thank you,” I tell her. “Now, just let me know where you’d like to stay for a while, and I’ll call some movers to pick your stuff up. It’s probably going to take up a good amount of space in a hotel, so I’ll even spring for a double room.”
All things considered, the fake trips to Maine and California notwithstanding, I think I’m being pretty fair about all of this. Maybe I’m wrong, but I’m sure if the shoe were on the other foot, Melissa would have just started throwing my stuff out the window.