It really doesn’t sound like a question.
“We’re coworkers,” I tell Tag. “We get along; that’s all I’m saying.”
“Well, hopefully we can get Damian Jones in here one day to see if he’ll tell us a little more about this relationship the two of you have. Until then, we’ve got to take a quick commercial break. I’m talking with Emma Roxy, star of the new film with her possible lover, Damian Jones. When we get back, we’ll see if we can get Emma to open up a little bit more about her relationship with Damian Jones. This is KTNA,” he says.
The interview was supposed to go from 4 o’clock to 4:15, but I got in this room at 3:50 and it looks like he’s going to keep me for the whole fucking set. Being early has just bought me 10 more minutes dodging questions about my relationship with Damian.
I don’t want people to think that I’m only in this movie because I’m sleeping with Damian, but even more than that, I don’t want to feel like that’s the only reason I am where I am, and it’s really starting to get harder and harder to avoid.
“Well, that was a segment for the archives,” he says. “I’m sorry I pestered you so much there, but you’ve got to understand what that kind of insight is when you do what I do. I couldn’t just let it slide.”
“I didn’t even say anything,” I tell him. “I didn’t even get to finish my sentence and then you saw whatever you wanted to see in what little you didn’t interrupt.”
I’m hoping that’s going to work.
“Yeah, well, either way,” he says, “we’ve already brought up the topic, and I don’t know if you can see these flashing lights from where you are, but that is every line to the radio station in use, and I’m willing to bet that every single one of them is calling to ask you about your relationship with Damian Jones.”
“I’m done talking about it,” I tell him. “If you ask me any more about it, I’m not going to answer.”
Maybe I should have threatened to walk out, but I’m still hoping to do a little damage control and I can’t do that if I make the threat too much to follow through with.
“I won’t ask about it again,” he says.
I should know that’s not the end of it, but stupid me, I just say, “Thank you.”
The commercial ends and Tag gets back on the microphone. “And we’re back with Emma Roxy. Now we’re going to go to the phones and get some of your questions for our guest.”
I really should have seen that coming.
“It looks like we’ve got Marley from Las Cruces on the phone. Hi, Marley. What’s your question for Emma Roxy?” he asks.
What an asshole.
“Yeah,” Marley from Las Cruces says, “I was calling about that thing you said about you and Damian. Like, is he a good kisser?”
This is going to suck.
I get through the interview all right, I guess, but every single question is about Damian. It wasn’t even that bad a slip of the tongue, but when people are already looking for something, they have a tendency to find it pretty quick.
Once the interview’s over and we’re back at commercial, Tag claps his hands and says, “That was great. I bet that’s the best ratings we get al
l month.”
“Yeah, thanks,” I tell him, and walk out of the room.
Maybe I should be a little less obvious in regard to how pissed I am at this fuckhead right now because there’s a good chance he tells his listeners if I’m not, but I really just want to get the hell out of here and it needs to happen right now.
When I finally get home, I gather my courage and look at my phone.
Forty-seven missed calls.
For a period lasting no longer than an hour, that’s a personal record for me.
I look through the missed calls for one name in particular, but it’s heartwarming to know that so many people I know were listening in. Really, that’s what I’m taking out of this.
I’m not being sarcastic.
Seriously.