It would be great to know which.
The scene I’m scheduled for right now—my last scene of the movie—is one of the first shots in the film and it’s just of me sitting in a room, correcting English homework. There’s really nothing to screw up here, but I thought the same thing before the scene with the towels and the hotel room.
This is going to be part of the opening montage, and though it’s likely this scene isn’t going to put up more than a total of 20, 30 seconds at the most, despite what I told Tammy, I am nervous.
I’ve been nervous before, during, and after every scene I’ve ever done.
That’s just the way it goes when you take what you do seriously.
I talk with Dutch a moment and then I sit in the chair in front of Emma’s character’s stepdaughter’s homework, and I start looking over it as if I am the tutor and this is the work that I love.
While I’m looking through the pages, “correcting” this and that as I go, Dutch yells action, and apparently he’s yelled cut because everyone’s cheering and Dutch is saying, “That’s a wrap on Damian Jones.”
There are still more scenes to be shot before the movie’s done, and then there’s effects and editing and everything that comes with postproduction, but as far as I’m concerned, the making part of this movie is over.
Looking back, I don’t know that my performance has been worthy of the Oscar I told Emma I was going to win from doing this film, even if everything inside and outside the walls of the set had gone smoothly, but that never really mattered. To be honest, I think I’d just be embarrassed if I got a nomination for this movie.
It’s right around there that I finally decide to decide what I’m going to do with my career. Maybe I’ll stick with the fluff; maybe I’ll take on something more serious, more demanding. I’m not going to decide now, but I’m finally ready to think about what it is that I really want and stop treading water.
Emma is supposed to come over tonight for our own personal wrap party before the official one in two days when she’s done with her scenes, and I’d really like to get home before she shows up. Danna’s coming back tonight, and I’d really love to keep the two of them separated as completely as I can for as long as I can.
Danna says she has some things to talk about and some things to apologize for, but she gave me free reign over when that happens.
It’s for that and many other reasons that I’m surprised at what I find when I get home.
Emma’s car is parked out front, but that’s not the strange thing. As I drive over the fading scrawls of one of Tammy’s many professions of love and at least temporary psychosis, I spot Danna and Emma sitting on the porch, drinking iced tea together.
I park the car and get out, walking with a certain caution toward the pair, hoping for the best but expecting the worst.
“Hey, little bro,” Danna says.
“Hey, Damian,” Emma says.
“Hey, you two,” I answer, and look back and forth between them. “What’s going on here?”
“I got here a little early,” Emma says. “I tend to do that. Anyway, Danna was here when I pulled up and we’ve just been talking.”
“Okay,” I answer, and look to Danna for her explanation, as I assume her need to oppose everything Emma will skew the report a bit one way or another.
“Yeah,” Danna says, “we’ve just been talking a bit.”
“Should I be worried?” I ask.
“No,” Danna says. Even Emma seems to be in a good mood, a rarity for anyone when they’ve spent a few minutes with Danna. “I’m glad that you’re back, though,” Danna says. “There are a couple of things that I wanted to talk to you about, the both of you.”
“Okay,” I say, and sit down in one of the empty chairs on the porch. “What did you want to talk about?” I ask.
“First off,” she says, “Emma, I know I’ve already said this, but I want to apologize for the way I’ve behaved toward you. I think a lot of it was that I didn’t want to see someone taking away my time with my brother. I think part of it was that I was trying to protect him from what I saw to be a dangerous situation. I think there’s still another part of me that just didn’t want to have to take the risk and get attached again—you know that I was very close with Jamie, right?”
“Yeah,” Emma answers.
“Anyway, I get that I was acting like an idiot and I’m very sorry,” Danna says.
“You’re forgiven,” Emma says immediately.
Danna looks over to me. “Are we good, little bro?” she asks.
I narrow my eyes. “You know,” I tell her, “I think I’ve known you long enough to know when you’re planning something bad, but I’ve been proven wrong on that one in the past—”