Speaking of that night before, it had almost gone well. It probably would have been more fun if I'd shot up before I went, but still, I could think of at least a hundred ways it could have been worse.
I drank some water and got under the shower feeling strangely good – good compared to the way I usually felt, at least, which was horrible. I got out and got dressed, searching for where I'd left the in-room dining menu.
It was lunchtime, right? Why didn't I just go out and eat? I ate in my room all the time. It was getting charged to the room either way. I had like five different restaurants to choose from; it might even be fun.
I walked out of the room and went down to the lobby. I knew I could go down to the bar to see Keno, but I was hungry. Maybe later.
I spotted Abby and Makani behind their desk. They were talking. Abby's hair was down the way it had been the night before. She was smiling at whatever her friend was telling her. She glanced in my direction and stopped talking. She looked at me again, doing a double take like she'd just seen a ghost. Her friend looked over, too. I nodded at them and kept walking.
Maybe she was surprised I'd left my room? I couldn't think why. She had been the one who’d suggested it in the first place. After some searching, I found a restaurant with a lunch buffet going. I loaded my plate up with more food than I knew I'd be able to finish before finding a place to sit. A waiter came and took my drink order. I thought about getting a beer, but I was having such a good day, I asked for water.
I dug in. The food was good. A lot of things were good. I wasn’t feeling sick, I wasn’t stressed, and I’d left my room for the second time without being recognized by anybody.
I didn't want to jinx it, but who knew all it would take to turn my shit around was getting out of my own head. I wasn't dumb enough to think it would last, but I also wasn't going to waste it just waiting for the ball to drop.
I heard the sound of a chair scraping the ground in front of me and looked up. It was Abby. She was sitting across from me with a look on her face like she was upset. I didn't know what to say for a second, so I just looked at her.
"Hungry?" I asked.
"No," she said shortly. "I see you got to your room last night."
"I did. Listen, if you're gonna sit there, I'm gonna have to ask you to grab a plate because it's awkward being the only one eating."
"How are you even talking like that after last night?" I looked at her. She sounded way too much like Kirsten, accusing me of something I had done wrong.
"What happened last night?"
"You don't-" she leaned in like she was going to tell me a secret. "You sure you don't remember?"
I shrugged. Was she upset about the way I'd left her on the beach? It had been an emergency. I had thought I could make it through the night and I got pretty fucking far, but in the end, couldn't do it. I wasn't proud of it, but why was she mad about that? I had told her not to worry about it.
"Nope. Nothing."
"I saw you last night."
"I remember. I saw you, too. You invited me to the luau."
"Not there. In your suite, on the couch with a...with that thing sticking in your arm," she said. My jaw dropped. She'd followed me to my room? She'd been in there while I was sleeping?
"Who let you in my room?"
"The door was open; you didn't even make sure it was closed before you...did that to yourself."
"I don't know what you think you saw, Abby, but it was in my private suite that I'm paying a lot of money for. It's none of your business."
"I was there because I was sent to check on you. You weren't well. You were acting weird, and we were worried."
"You have nothing to worry about because nothing is wrong. Just forget whatever you think you saw."
"You're going to sit there and tell me nothing was wrong when I found you passed out in your room with a needle in your arm?" she asked sharply.
"A little louder, Abby, I don't think the entire restaurant heard you," I snapped sarcastically. She sat back.
"I haven't told anyone. Am I the only person who knows?"
"You don't know anything, okay? You came in my room without permission. You weren't even supposed to be there."
"Why would you do something like that? What's happening that's so awful that you have to use drugs?" she asked. She whispered the last two words like they were swear words.