"Come on, Abby. Stop acting like we just met."
"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm doing my job, Mr. Stone."
"I want to apologize for the past couple weeks. I shouldn't have said what I said to you. I want to talk." I allowed myself to look in his eyes.
"No.”
"Abby," he pleaded.
"I can't give you that if that is all you're looking for. I'm working. You know the limits to what I can and can't give you within those boundaries."
"I know I fucked up. Let me fix this," he said. I shook my head.
"How could you come back to me asking for that after telling me to leave you alone?"
"I made a mistake."
"‘I don't need you anymore,’" I said quietly. "Those were the words you said to me. You made your mind up, and after that, I made my mind up, too. If there is nothing I can help you with, please leave."
"You don't mean that," he said.
"I mean it as much as you did. I didn't hound you after you told me to leave you alone. All I want is the same respect," I said looking back down at my computer. He was silent for a moment, but he didn't move.
"I'm sorry if what I said to you made you hate me. Don't shut me out when I'm trying to apologize to you." I shook my head again.
"You shouldn't have come here to talk to me knowing I wouldn't be able to stop you. Please leave. This is the last time I'm asking," I said.
I kept my eyes down because I didn't want to cry in front of him. I heard him hesitate before finally leaving. I sighed. It was ragged and long; I had been holding my breath. Goddammit, Nate, I thought, touching the corners of my eyes to catch the tears before they started falling.
"Abby?"
I jumped at hearing Makani come back behind the desk.
"Are you okay? I heard what you said to him."
"I'm fine," I said.
"Hey, if you need a little time, it's okay," she said.
I shook my head, sniffing. I didn't want to go to the bathroom and cry like he and I had broken up. That wasn't what it was. We hadn't been together in the first place, so there was no good reason for me to feel like I had lost him. He was never mine in the first place.
It just sucked. Why did he have to choose today to come and see me? I was finally feeling normal. He was finally starting to matter less and now, I had to start again from scratch.
And then what he said? He wanted to see me again? How dare he. How dare he act like he hadn't told me to fuck off. No. No way. I couldn't do it. There was
a good reason I didn't put myself in this position with anybody and this was it.
"I'll be fine," I said hollowly to Makani. Still, I felt her watching me the whole day. She didn't believe me. I didn't either.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Nate
Keno might have been kidding about that comment he made the other day on our hike, the one about me hanging out with him because I was on the outs with Abby, and it might have been true at the time, but things had changed since then.
He was a cool guy; I wasn't sure if I was giving him enough credit. There was no other way our paths would have crossed than if I hadn't come to Lanai. On top of that, if things were different and he lived in LA, I don't know whether he'd be the sort of person I hung out with.
I didn't have friends. Not real ones, anyway. Your friend wasn't someone who only had something to say to you when there was something you could offer them. They just liked you.