"I really don't think this is the best idea, Casey. Maybe we could call the airlines back and see if they're willing to move the flight just once more." I ran my fingers through my long crimson hair and dropped down on my small bed in our dorm room. "Just think about it. We could stay here and go to all of our favorite places. You know you love Central Park this time of the year."
"No, Viv. This is going to be great. You've been moping around this place since the beginning of February. We're getting the hell out of here for a little while. It will do you some good. It will do me some good. I'm tired of this frigid-ass weather. I need to see the beach and pretend like one day I'll get out of here." She moved to stand in front of me and touched my shoulder gingerly as I shifted my gaze toward the floor. "Hey, it's going to get better."
My eyes filled with tears, though I honestly didn't figure I had many more left in me. I'd known Jackson my whole life, and dated him most of it. I couldn't see myself beside anyone in life but him, and yet he felt differently. Not having the balls to tell me that he was sleeping with half the student body at NYU, I happened to find out the hard way – by accidentally witnessing him in action.
"Right." I pulled from her and got up, walking to the short window that sat at the far end of our dorm room. "I just wish it would hurry up."
"It's only been a month." Casey wrapped me in a hug from behind and I sunk down into it. My spunky roommate had been my best friend since kindergarten; her commitment to living life with me being one of the only things that was sure to help me through the break-up with Jackson.
"I know, but this was supposed to be our trip, Case. We'd been dating for ten years on Valentine’s. That was the reason for the trip, remember?" I pressed my hands to my face and took a shaky breath. "I just don't know if I want to go hang out in Miami for a week, even with you. I'll do nothing but drag you down and be a complete killjoy. The last thing I want to do is have you upset with me because I can't be anything but depressed right now. I'm trying to pull myself out of it, but I just can't seem to. You're going to be disappointed and the trip's going to suck because of me."
"That's not true. Not one damn word you just uttered is true." She moved back and tugged on my hair. "Get packed up. We got the tickets from Valentine’s moved to now, and we're going. You're going to meet some fantastic hottie and have loads of great, unattached sex."
She gasped dramatically as I turned to pin her with a 'get real' stare. "Me?"
"Yes. You. Just think – it will almost feel like you're a normal college girl. Having fun and living in the moment. What? What will the media think?" She wagged her eyebrows as I wiped the last of my tears away.
"You're dumb." And she was, but she was right. I needed to figure out how to start living a little. My life had revolved around Jackson and my grades for so long that having fun didn't seem attainable.
"Right, and you're dumber. Get that cute, little, black string bikini that you hate. It looks killer on you." She nodded to my bed. "Grab your pillow, too. You know how much you hate sleeping on anything but Hilda."
"It's too cold to wear a bikini. I'm going to need a full length coat and sweats just to be able to walk outside." I moved toward the bed and picked up my pillow, which we'd lovingly named Hilda years ago. I was on Hilda number six by then, but our traditions stuck – even the odd ones.
"Florida is vastly different than New York, Viv. Check the weather on your phone, and while you're at it, check the flight times, too. I want to run by the store on the way to the airport. I need some gum and want to grab a couple of beach towels before we go."
"The hotel doesn't give them to you?" I picked up my phone, forever minding my bossy-ass friend. She was president of every club she could get her hands on, energetic and an extrovert to the nth degree. I wasn't her polar opposite, but pretty damn close.
"No clue, but I don't want to chance it, and the gum is for your ears. You know they pop like crazy on takeoff." She picked up a nightie from her open suitcase on her bed and wagged her eyebrows again. "Whatcha think? Hot enough to catch some guys attention?"
Her blonde pixie cut and vibrant blue eyes drew everyone in quickly, and even after all the years of us being close, I was no different. She had a warmth to her that made you want to get close enough to warm your hands by her fire.
"It's rather naughty. You sure you want to take that with us? You're going to be mighty disappointed when I don't ask you to put it on." I gave her a silly look, which melted into a smile. She wouldn't wear the nightie even if there were a good-looking guy she wanted to impress. She was too self-conscious about her curves, though I didn't think she had any reason to be.
"Now who's being dumb?" She chuckled and tossed it back into her bag. "I'm going to find us some handsome boys to have a little bit of fun with."
"Right. You do that." I finished packing a few t-shirts and shoved the last of my jeans in before sitting on the top and motioning for her to come help me close the thing.
"Why am I suddenly concerned that you didn't bring anything dressy or skimpy?" Casey bent down and zipped up my suitcase as I wobbled on top of it.
"Because I didn't. The weather says that Miami is in the low seventies right now. That sounds warm, but we're right on the beach in Miami. It's going to be cold. You're going to freeze your
ass off, and when you do, don't say I didn't tell you so." I shrugged and slid off the side of the suitcase. "Let's get going. The flight is in three hours. That gives us just enough time to grab the stuff you want and get there."
"Killjoy. Already." Casey popped the side of my leg and picked up her bag. "You're going to meet someone sexy that sweeps you off your feet. Mark my words. Karma's a bitch, and Jackson will get his, but you'll get yours too."
"I believe you." I slung my satchel strap over my shoulder and brushed my sweater and jeans to smooth them out. "I'm going to meet lots of sexy men that are going to leave me panting."
She smiled brightly before heading to the door. "There's my girl. I know there's an optimist deep inside of you. Are you thinking we'll meet them at the hotel or the beach, or maybe a bar?"
I walked out of our dorm room and turned to close the door as a smirk lifted my lips. "I'm going to find them in a book. Lots of books. Safe sex without the herpes."
"Oh Lord." Casey rolled her eyes, shook her head and moved down the hall, starting her murmuring as she always did when I acted up.
I chuckled and ignored the pang of regret I felt over letting her talk me into the trip. I wasn't ready to move on from Jackson, and not that the trip would force me to, but it was a first step toward taking back my life as a single person.
Too bad I would trade anything to make things go back to the way they were. It wasn't possible, though. Trust meant everything to me, and nothing to him.
As long as I don't have to see him for the rest of my life, I'll be good.