"Honey, no matter what, you know it’s not okay," Trent said.
"This coming from you?" I asked. I pushed past more people and slipped around to the wall near the entryway. If Owen came crashing back in, I could slip out without him seeing.
"That's why I came tonight," Trent said. "I get it. I was so full of myself that I thought I could do whatever I wanted. Then, you broke up with me and I used it as an excuse to go wild. Now it’s been long enough that it’s all worn off, like a giant hangover. I feel terrible. I want to make it up to you."
"You understand that now is not the time, right?" I asked. I blinked back my tears hard. I stood flat against the wall as if it was the only thing holding me up. I was not strong enough to elude Owen and get away from Trent.
"Please, honey, just let me be your friend," Trent said. He peeled my hands off the wall and kissed my knuckles. "What do you want me to do? Beat the shit out of him? Get you out of here? What?"
"Yes, please, just get me out of here. Without him seeing."
"Without him seeing what?" Owen asked. He had appeared in the doorway while Trent was tugging on my hands.
My throat closed up. Owen scowled at our joined hands.
"You didn't want me to see you with your ex-boyfriend?" he asked. His eyes were more glazed than before.
It was more than I could take. I shoved Owen hard in the chest and marched out the apartment door. I knew both he and Trent were chasing me down the hallway, but I refused to run.
Owen caught me at the top of the stairs. "You're with Trent?"
"No. But I am the one that caught you kissing Anya in your bedroom, or did you somehow forget about that?" I asked.
"That wasn't what it looked like."
"Oh, you alone on your bed kissing another girl doesn't look suspicious, but me talking to Trent in a room full of people is something to get angry about?" My voice was too loud, but I did not care.
"Owen, are you okay?" Anya appeared in the door of his apartment.
"You've got to be kidding me," I said. I crossed my arms and waited to see how Owen would act.
"I'm fine, everything's fine," Owen said.
"Yeah, sure, everything's fine," I said. "Oh, by the way, Jasper is paying one of your neighbors to rat on you to the police. He's a drug dealer and is planning to blame you so he can make a clean getaway and set up in some other town."
"Quinn, it sounds like maybe you've had a little too much to drink," Anya said. She came down the hallway and took Owen's arm.
I felt my heart tumble down the stairs when he did not pull away from her. "Owen, I'm serious. Let's just get out of here. Let's go to the trailhead and cool off for a while."
"And get a DUI?" Anya asked. "Seriously, Quinn, are you looking out for him or trying to get him in more trouble?"
"She's right," Owen said. "I drank too much and I should just stay here."
I had nothing else to say. I tried to look in Owen's eyes, but he looked tired and drunk. Anya tugged on his arm, and he started to turn around and follow her back to his apartment. I wanted to grab him, to shake him, to make him see that I was not the one acting crazy, but I couldn't. It hurt too much.
I was tired of chasing after everyone else's problems. When I looked around, I saw Anya pining after a man that did not really want her. Owen was being set up by someone close to him. Trent was wanting to fix a mistake he could not take back. None of those problems were mine.
I could just walk away.
So I did.
I walked across the front lawn and wondered how long ago I should have done it. My whole life I was always tied up with Sienna's problems or plans. Or I was helping my mother cope with hers. Or I was trying to please my father. Or I was loving someone I did not think would ever love me back.
I should have just walked away.
The thought was freeing. I felt like walking out into the desert. There, at least, the cold and desolation would make sense. Freedom was supposed to be exhilarating.
Then I heard footsteps crashing down the sidewalk behind me and my heart started to beat again. I did not want to ignore other people's problems, I wanted to help, but first I needed someone to need me.