I barked out a laugh to that comment.
We ended the call, and I went to the back porch to sit outside and breathe in the cool air. Mama was right, but I was so scared to leave. There was no point in fussing about it, given that he hadn’t even asked me yet. I just needed to focus on life right now and stop thinking so far ahead into the future.
Austin might stay here.
I doubted that, but he might. Maybe I’d get my dream after all, and Austin would choose me and his family. A laugh burst out of me as I looked over the landscape and shook my head. I knew that he loved me, but did he love his money and life in New York more?
Would he leave me for that all over again?
I sank back and sipped the last of my coffee, now cold from being ignored during my phone call with Mom. I missed them so much. I also knew that they were happy in Arizona, now that a little time had passed. Dad was so much healthier in the dryer air, and they were doing a lot of outdoor things that he’d avoided for so many years here. I just never noticed that before.
My reasons for leaving might not be for my health, but that didn’t matter. I might thrive wherever I lived, too. I could cut hair anywhere, though I could see Austin telling me not to work at all. I couldn’t imagine myself as one of those women who shopped all the time and was content with someone else taking care of them. I’d consider that if I had children to raise, since Mama did such a wonderful job with Kim and me when we were younger.
Sally seemed happy doing that, as well. Perhaps that was a North Reed thing and not what people did in New York, given that Austin mentioned that so many people had nannies.
I’d never do that. I wanted to raise my own kids. I lifted my chin and took a deep breath, telling my mind to slow down and just enjoy the moment.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Austin
I came into the living room to see Dad in his favorite recliner, reading a book as he rocked himself gently with his foot. I remembered sitting in this very chair with him as a little boy while he did the same thing. The memory made me smile. “Need anything, Dad?” I asked.
He glanced over at me with an easy smile. I saw the cup beside him that no doubt held the herbal tea that Mom bought for him once he came home from the hospital.
“I’m fine, Austin. How are you?” Dad asked, a million questions in his tone. He always seemed to sense when I wanted to talk. I still called him from New York sometimes, looking for his wise words when I was stuck with something.
“I’m…okay,” I said and eased myself down on the couch across from him.
Dad watched me with that knowing look in his eyes, waiting for my questions. I felt the bond between us, even stronger now with everything that happened over the last week.
I could have lost him this time. The thought made my head hurt, and I ran a hand through my hair. “When did you know that Mom was the one for you, Dad?”
He set his book down and sat back as if he knew this question was coming at some point. “I must admit, I thought I would get this question a lot earlier than right now,” he teased. I shook my head and looked at him expectantly. “Is this referring to the woman I think it is?”
I nodded slowly, and he smiled at me with a soft shake of his head. “Yeah.”
“You dated a lot of beautiful women over there in New York. I saw the pictures, but you know what I didn?
??t see, Austin?” I looked at him with a frown. “The smile that you’ve always had with Rebecca. Even now, you just relax and let all your walls down with her. You look cold in the pictures that I’ve seen on television and in the magazines that your mother has brought home over the years. I’ve missed the Austin who I’ve seen here over the last few weeks.” He folded his hands on his lap and took a deep breath with a sweet smile on his face. “Your mom and I were high school sweethearts right here in North Reed. It feels like a hundred years ago, now. Anyway, I thought she was the most beautiful girl that I’d ever seen when I saw her my sophomore year. We began dating immediately, and while I was smitten, I made the mistake of thinking that I should date other girls a little later.” He chuckled. “We both dated other people during our breaks, Austin. It’s what people do when they’re trying to figure things out.”
“Nobody has ever turned me upside down like Rebecca before, Dad. I went to one of the best colleges in New York without a second thought. I’ve worked investment deals that involved hundreds of millions of dollars without breaking a sweat. I’m good at what I do. Why does a woman get me all twisted inside?”
He smiled. “That is what the best women do to us, son. I’ve thought the same thing about your mother repeatedly,” he admitted. We both laughed. “I was that way, and then I graduated high school. I got the job that I’d been dreaming of, as you know, and I was ready to be on the fast track. At some point, I realized that I needed Sally to be there with me, and we went out to dinner. We talked about everything and decided that we were going to make this work. I had to prove it to her, believe me. I’d taken off like a scared rabbit in the past but not this time. I bought this house for her and asked her to marry me the same day I brought her in here for the first time. She said yes, through a flurry of tears, and I’ve been working to prove how much I love her ever since. Now, look at us. Still in the same house years later and happy. I had the job and the family, and I wouldn’t trade any of that for the world, Austin.”
I nodded and tried to imagine my life working out that way. It wasn’t as easy for me, given that they already lived here and didn’t have to change that much. I thought how much Rebecca wanted to stay here, and I still wasn’t sure that I did, even though I loved being here with my family.
I felt like I was being pulled in two directions. I leaned my head back.
“You think too much, Austin. Always have. That works in some things, like business. You can control that a lot easier than you can something personal with a woman. That’s where you have to bend some. I understood why you left to go to that college, Austin. I understood why you stayed in New York, even if you didn’t always look happy. It was the thrill of the chase when it came to your work. I saw what you were missing, though, from the start. One thing about life is that we’re supposed to learn from the mistakes that we’ve made in the past. I can tell that you’re trying to turn things around with Rebecca, but you seem like you don’t think it’s enough.”
“What’s enough, Dad?” I asked.
He raised an eyebrow at me. “If you’re asking me that, you probably aren’t doing it.” He sipped his tea slowly, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Everybody is different, but you know Rebecca well. Deep down, you know what to do.”
“That’s the thing. The women in New York all wanted the same thing: my money. They wanted the life that came with it, but I didn’t want to give that to any of them for too long. I just didn’t care about them.” A flush came over my face, knowing what my parents must have heard about me over the years. Something I was proud of back then faded into an intense dislike of myself sitting here in the living room with him. “I used them, Dad.”
“I’d say they used you too, Austin. They got a little bit of what they wanted, and they wanted more. It’s just a bigger scale than my dating in high school, is all. Nothing to worry about if you make everything right.” He shrugged.