I joined my parents for dinner a little while later, enjoying the grilled chicken and vegetables that she made. I watched as they talked about their day and what was going on in town. I took in the way things seemed so much slower here, and I thought ahead to Saturday. I wanted to show Rebecca that you could mix slow and fast to come up with the perfect combination. I wanted to show her things she’d never seen before. Points of view that might surprise her.
I wanted to impress the hell out of her. I’d done that with other women just by being another version of myself, but it didn’t feel genuine. It felt like the game that it was.
Rebecca was different. She was special, and I would have to do a little digging and show that to her. I would have to break myself down in the process and find the right combination for this to work.
I pushed aside the uncertainty about the future and focused on enjoying dinner here with my family. I listened to the wind outside and tasted the food as I enjoyed the moment to its fullest.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Rebecca
We went out to dinner as planned, but here I was at the library with Kim afterward, instead of watching a movie. She was chomping at the bit to organize everything, now that they had the funds. It was the way Kim worked. Once she had a plan, she was all in. She carried a notebook and pen with her around the building, and I followed her.
It really was a small library, but this was a tiny town. I didn’t see the need for it to expand in size all that much, though the building did need some work. It had been built years ago, and everything weakened with our weather here. Kim rattled off her thoughts in the same jumbled manner that they must be playing through in her mind, making me smile at her. “What do you think about adding on a children’s section all to itself? I was picturing a little play area, a huge picture window, and as many books as I can fill it with.” She jotted something down. “Wouldn’t that look pretty, looking back to the hills? So many kids don’t read enough, but if it felt comfortable and more like home to them, that might do the trick.”
“I think that’s a great idea. Give the parents some room to relax with chairs and maybe couches while the kids play or look at books.” I remembered being here with Mom when we were little, and it felt as though we were stuffed into the small corner that held the children’s books now. She wasn’t comfortable waiting for us, but Mom made the best of it.
“Yes!” Kim agreed with a wide smile on her face. “I think I might even make small sections of certain age groups. Shelves that they can go to for what is geared towards them or even books we let them choose.”
My sister had always read above her grade in school by several years. I enjoyed reading a lot, but it was more to relax and not my life calling. I still loved the idea of a new library.
She wrote something else down. “I definitely want this to have more of a comfortable feeling all around. I want people to sit down and relax a little bit while they take a peek at all the books we’re going to have. I was thinking about vending machines where folks could get some coffee or hot chocolate and sit outside if they wanted. I was thinking of having a stand out front, but I don’t want to compete against the North Reed Grind. It’s been here for so long that I’d never take away their business, and I really love it there.” She turned to me with excitement in her eyes. “Unless they’re willing to go into a partnership with us here. Maybe they could be the ones that could set up shop outside and serve the coffee, and we could work something out. That isn’t taking away from the shop itself, is it?”
I shook my head with a soft smile on my face. I had so many memories of that place that they were stacked inside of my brain by now, the best ones being with Austin. We hadn’t gone there since he came back into town. Maybe we should, just to relive old memories. “Not at all. the Grind is too epic and cozy. I think it’s a great idea to talk to them about the stand though. I imagine that since that Starbucks place has a shop on every corner and keeps doing well, it would work out.” I’d noticed that on the television at work during the business section of the news. From what I’d seen, it was small and uninviting. In Dallas, when we’d had dinner at Austin’s place, I’d also peered inside and hated it compared to my coffee place here.
“You have a point there. I am so glad that North Reed told them no.” Kim shook her head and looked around. “I want computers for book checkout, too. I saw something online about that, and it looks so convenient. It makes the person pay off the balance if they’re too late returning books, and I’d love to spare myself that speech.” She rolled her eyes. “Thank you so much for this, Rebecca.”
I looked at her with my head tilted, not understanding what she meant. “What did I do?”
“The donation, silly.” Kim smiled at me as she stopped and looked at me.
“I didn’t give you the donation,” I said. “Austin did, remember?” I reached out to touch a book that I read a million times as a kid.
“He gave the donation to the library because he loves you,” Kim said. “If he didn’t, he already would have high-tailed it out of here back to New York.” Kim hugged me tightly.
I let out a breath that it felt like I’d been holding for a while. “I don’t know about all of that. He’s smart with his money and donates a lot. I mean, there’s the hospital and everything as well.” I hugged her back, loving him for keeping her here with me. “I should be thanking him for keeping you here.”
“Has he mentioned going back to New York at all?” Kim asked as she leaned against a shelf and took a close look at me.
“No. He seems to be focused on staying here for his dad right now.” I creased my brow as I looked at her.
“That’s great. Between that and taking you out on these fancy dates you two go on, I’d think you would be thrilled about that.”
“I would like dates with him if he just took me to the diner or for coffee. I don’t need limos and planes and French restaurants in Dallas.” Kim had loved that when I told her about it, claiming that she was so jealous.
“I think the idea of a gorgeous, rich man spoiling you is beyond romantic. It is what half of the books here are written about, you know.” She waved a hand around, and I looked at all the shelves, knowing that she was right. “You’re living the fantasy, Becs.”
“What if he’s doing all of that just to turn around and ask me to move with him again?” My family were the only people in my life who knew he’d asked me to go to New York with him before he left. To the rest of the town, I played it like we’d separated because of distance and moving on. “What if he’s doing a little extra to try and make me wa
nt the life that he lives there?”
“Would that be so terrible? Mom and Dad are happy, and they moved.” Sadness flashed through her eyes for a fleeting second. She offered me a bright smile, and I pressed my lips together.
“I have seen hints of his life there, Kim. The women and the parties are just too much for me.”
Kim chuckled. “I think he’d give up the women if you moved with him,” she offered.
I laughed for a minute. “Yes, of course. I’m just not the girl to go to a club or a big party and enjoy it. I’m happy with simple food and an easy life. Besides, I have you here and my friends. I have my job and my house. I have my peace here. Why walk away from that when I could end up miserable in the end?” I shrugged. “I love him, but maybe that isn’t enough for us.”