“Come on, Lilah!” I said to myself in the mirror. “You're at a five-star resort in paradise, with five days of luxury and relaxation ahead of you, and you're feeling sorry for yourself? Snap out of it!”
But I was struggling. I was—as much as I hated to admit it—missing Asher. Just like I had been for weeks. Having Meg with me would have kept me distracted but, without her, my thoughts kept drifting to him.
He seemed to have resigned himself to the fact that he and I couldn't be together, and he was perfectly justified in doing so. After all, I'd done everything I possibly could to push him away with my insecurities and lack of faith in relationships.
He deserved better than that. If he found someone who could offer him a solid relationship, he deserved her. It was selfish of me to want him, while simultaneously telling him that we simply couldn't be together.
I stared long and hard at myself in the mirror. “Damnit, Lilah. If you want him, you should be with him. You can’t expect him to keep burning a candle for something you keep telling him will never happen.”
I needed another drink. I went over to the phone next to my bed and ordered a pitcher of Long Island iced tea. It was just what I needed to get this Hawaiian holiday started.
Ten minutes later, an island native in a grass skirt knocked on my door and delivered my liquid distraction. I asked her what activities she could recommend for the afternoon. I needed something I could concentrate on, something that would take my mind off of Asher.
She suggested snorkeling, which sounded like a pretty decent idea to me. I called the activities desk and signed up for a session later that afternoon, then went out onto the beach to sip on my Long Island iced tea and tried not to wonder about
what Asher was doing.
***
After a fantastic afternoon of snorkeling, and the jet skiing that the snorkeling guide had talked me into, my head was clearer than it had been in weeks. I joined some of the other snorkelers for a hearty dinner by the main pool and returned to my cottage feeling full and content.
No matter how much I didn’t want to, I wondered how Asher was doing and hoped he was trying to have some fun. He’d been more stressed by work-related issues than I had been. After all, it was his company and he stood to lose the most had things not panned out in our favor.
As I walked through the front door of the cottage, I made a beeline for the hot tub I’d been thinking about since before dinner. After all the water activities of the day, I was tired and knew I’d used muscles that didn’t normally get so much of a workout. The hot tub was not only perfect for relaxation, but my muscles would thank me in the morning.
I ordered a cocktail, then started the tub up while I waited for the drink to arrive. There was a large screen television in the bathroom, so I started scrolling through the list of movies to watch in the hot-tub with my soon-to-arrive delicious cocktail. It was exactly what I needed to wind down and lull me into oblivion.
The cocktail arrived just in time and I was about to strip down when my phone rang. I'd already called Meg earlier to check on her. My first thought was that Eddie might be calling to make sure I’d arrived safely. But when I picked up the phone, it wasn’t Eddie. It was a FaceTime video call . . . from Brendan. I hesitated, not sure if I was up for talking with him, but decided to get it out of the way.
“Hello,” I answered, turning on the video.
“Well, hey there, sexy,” he chimed, grinning his usual Cheshire cat grin.
I tilted my head a bit at the sound of his voice. He was slurring his words. Judging from the stupid look plastered on his face, he was drunk. I’d been around Brendan once before when he’d had a few too many and knew that when he was drunk, he was even chattier than usual. I immediately knew that I was looking at a prime opportunity to capitalize on his loose lips and maybe sink a few ships in the process.
“Well, hi, yourself, Brendan. How are you?”
“I'm good. I'm great, actually! Yeah, just fantastic!” He held a beer up in the air to show me. “See?”
“I do see. I also see that you've had a little to drink, haven't you?” I said with a flirtatious smile. All the while, I was inching closer to my laptop where I could subtly turn on the video recording function and record this entire call just in case I managed to get him to talk.
“How did you know? Are you a- a mind reader?” he hiccupped.
“Maybe I am,” I replied with a cheeky grin. “Or, maybe it has something to do with the beer you just showed me.”
“Smart and beautiful,” he slurred. “Hey, what are you doing tonight?” Obviously, he had no idea I was in Hawaii. “Where are you, that doesn't l-look like your apartment?”
“Now who’s the smart one? I'm at a friend's place.”
“Ohhh. A, uh, a boy friend or a girl friend, huh?” He looked at me with squinted, curious eyes.
“Girl friend, from college. Say, your beer looks empty. Why don't you get another one? I've got a drink here, we can drink together.”
“Well, why don't I just come p-pick you up, instead? Then we can g-go to my place and d-drink together in p-person.”
“Not just yet, but maybe later. Let's do this first, then I'll think about coming to your place.”
He smiled, “Okay.”