It was probably my imagination, but I thought I could smell the alcohol seeping from my pores and filling the room. My stomach had just begun to lurch as the first parishioner arrived. It was time to tuck my sins away to later be judged by my Father and get to work.
Chapter Seven
Daphne
“Daphne, table six is asking for more coffee.”
“Oh shoot! I told them I’d be back 10 minutes ago!” I grabbed the freshly made pot and felt Bethany’s eyes boring in to me as I rushed over to refill their cups. She was standing in the same spot when I got back.
“What’s going on with you?”
I feigned an innocent look. “Nothing. Why do you ask?”
“You’ve been distracted all day.”
“Oh, well, I just have a lot on my mind.”
“Daphne!” My boss Ken was cooking because our second cook hadn’t shown up. He wasn’t in a good mood about it, either.
“Yes?”
“The eggs are congealing! If you wouldn’t mind taking them out and picking your personal conversation back up later, that would be great.”
“I’m sorry, Ken, of course.” Bethany rolled her eyes. She’d been working here for more than two years and Ken didn't scare her any longer. This job was my only lifeline at the moment. He scared me to death.
I started to reach for one of the plates and Bethany grabbed my arm from behind. Annoyed, I looked back and saw her holding out the plate holder we use after they’d been sitting underneath the lights. Without it, I would have burned the skin off my hand. “Thank you,” I mouthed, gratefully.
She smiled at me and then in a whisper said, “Break in 15 minutes. Be ready to spill.”
I smiled back, nervously. There was no way I was going to tell her what I’d done. I could barely stand, that I knew. I took out the orders and refilled a few more drinks before it was time for our break. I took my ice water and followed Bethany out the back door of the restaurant.
As soon as we were clear of the building, she lit a smoke and said, “Come on,
Daphne. I’ve known you a long time. I know something is wrong.”
Bethany was my oldest…my only friend. She was the only one I ever told about my drunken father and the house of horrors I’d grown up in. She loved me and I loved her. She made me feel safe and kept my confidences. She didn’t judge, but there was still no way I was telling her about this.
It was between me, God, and whatever name green eyes goes by. I was having a hard-enough time with that. I couldn't bring myself to let anyone else in on the sins I’d committed.
“It’s just a personal issue, Beth. I’d rather not talk about it, okay? Maybe some other time I’ll be ready…but not now.”
Bless Bethany; she always knew when to push and when to back off. Now, she knew I needed her to back off.
“Sure, honey; but remember I’m always here if you need me.”
I smiled at her. “I know you are, and I am so grateful. I’m blessed to have you in my life, Bethany.” She laughed.
“You are the only person who puts ‘Bethany’ and ‘Blessed’ in the same sentence ever. You’re so good and pure… I’m not sure why you hang out with a sinner like me sometimes.”
If she only knew. I got drunk and had sex with a stranger… If we’re tallying sins, I’d bet at least this week I had her beat.
“You’re a saint, Bethany. I don’t know where I would be without you.”
She smiled and winked at me as she stubbed out her smoke. “You wouldn’t have all this,” she said, gesturing at the backside of the old diner. “That’s for sure.” We giggled and headed in.
Tomorrow was my day off. I couldn’t wait to get to the church and into confession. Maybe then I could feel like I was okay again with the Lord. Maybe once I’d done my penance and I was forgiven, I could move past this phase in my life, and never have to look back.
Chapter Eight