I smiled at him through my tears. It was so nice that he cared. He cared enough to run over in the middle of the night.
“Thank you; I will be. I moved here because I want nothing more than to go on with my life and forget all about him. I’m not sure how he found me. I do have a restraining order, like I said, but it doesn’t do any good. He does what he wants.”
“Daphne, you really should-”
“Please, don’t say it. I know I should call the police. I can’t explain it, though, no matter how horrible he is…he’s still my father.”
I wasn’t sure what happened between Jace and my father out there. I tried to see through the peephole, but they’d moved too far away. I did hear a struggle and I was surprised to say the least. I was so grateful to Jace just for coming…I hadn’t expected him to fight for me. I know that’s another thing he’s not supposed to do. I’m batting a thousand here.
He was rubbing one of his hands in the other so I said, “Is your hand okay? Do you need some ice?” He looked down at it. His knuckles looked a little red, but there was no blood and they didn’t look too swollen…yet.
“Nah, I’m okay. If you’re okay, I’m going to take off. Just do not open the door to him, and please, please, please, call the police first next time…then you can call me.”
I tried to smile. I wasn’t going to call the police, but if it made him feel better to believe that I would, so be it. “Thank you again. I should get to bed. I have to work the breakfast shift tomorrow.”
He smiled back. God, he’s beautiful. “You’re welcome, anytime. If you ever want to talk about this, or anything, I’m all ears, okay?”
“Thank you, that means a lot. And hey, if you ever want to talk about anything, it goes both ways. Carla said that girl at the picnic was your ex. You two seem to be getting along pretty well, but if you ever want to talk even about that, I’m willing to listen.”
I laughed after I said it. As soon as it was out of my mouth I felt like an idiot. God, please give me a filter.
“I don’t think Lily will be around much anymore,” he said. I hated that I was so petty that it made me want to dance naked in the street.
“Oh, I’m…sorry?”
He chuckled. “Don’t be,” he said. “I just kind of turned down a come on from her last night. She wasn’t happy.”
“Oh, kind of like you turned me down. I guess you have women coming onto you all the time.”
He got a look in his eyes then that I didn’t recognize. It was kind of like he was tortured. “No, Daphne,” he said, softly. “This wasn’t like that at all. I turned her down because I’m a priest, but also because I don’t feel anything for her other than friendship. I turned you down simply because I’m a priest and what I did with you the night I was drunk was wrong. But if I could be with anyone on this earth, Daphne, it would be you.”
I could feel my heart move up into my throat and my pulse went crazy. He still wants me! Shit! Why am I celebrating that? He just said it’s wrong. He didn’t have to say it. I know that it is.
God, maybe I was better off when I thought the feelings were just one sided and I was obsessing over a man that didn’t want me. My chest ached.
“Sleep well, Daphne,” he said then and he turned towards the door.
“Jace?”
He turned back around and before I lost my nerve, I embraced him. He didn’t push me away. I hugged him tight, and he hugged me back. I put my mouth next to his ear and said, “Thank you, so much for coming tonight.”
When I finally let him go, he looked at my face and I could see the sincerity in his eyes as he said, “Anytime; I mean that.”
I watched him go, and he waited at the bottom of the steps for me to lock myself in. Once I did that, I pressed my forehead into the door and wondered what I was going to do.
One thing I knew for certain: I wasn’t going to sleep. There was going to be no getting the feel of his body against mine off my mind. There wasn’t even any use in trying. My mind knows the difference between what I want and can’t have, but my heart doesn’t.
Chapter Thirty-One
Jace
When I got back home, I realized that my sleep time was over. I got back in bed, but my mind was racing.
I couldn’t help but wonder what it meant that Daphne was the only reason I’ve ever found in my life to be violent. I would have killed that man to keep him from hurting her. That should have frightened the hell out of me, but instead, it gave me a weird sense of peace inside knowing that I finally found someone outside of my grandmother and my brothers that I truly felt like I belonged with.
I’d had a really hard time with that my entire life, feeling out of place. In school, I never fit in with any specific groups. I was always on the fringes of everything. The only thing that gave me any semblance of peace at all was the church and that was why I chose to be a priest.
I thought that I felt that way because it was my calling. Now, I was not so sure, and what terrified me most is that changing my mind so late in life might ruin any peace I’d had in my heart all along.