“I’m so excited for you, honey. You know I think of you just like my daughter and I hope you’ll always keep us involved in your life, even after you remarry.”
“Oh, no,” I busted out laughing. “There will be no getting married anytime soon.”
“You never know, dear. You might just find another prince charming who sweeps you off your feet.”
“I don’t think I want to be swept off my feet. I’m happy, Mary. I’ve got a good job, a great family, and Connor is by far the best child I could hope for. Maybe I’ll just stay single forever.”
Her face turned from upbeat and happy to extraordinarily sad. The corner of her mouth turned down, and I saw a hint of tears forming in her eyes.
“Delilah, Spencer would want you to be happy. Don’t let your heartbreak keep you from finding love again. We are meant to love one another.”
I loved Mary so much. Even though her own heart was breaking at the loss of her son, she still wanted to see me happy. She was the epitome of a selfless woman and always thought of others before herself. I don’t think I would have had as strong of a relationship with her had Spencer lived, but I hoped that I would have been able to love her as deeply as I did through our mutual grief.
“I promise I’ll love again someday. I’m just not in a hurry, and I’m not sure this guy is the right one,” I said. “I’ll keep my eye out, though.”
“You should go out to those dance clubs with that funny friend of yours. I bet there’s a lot of nice boys at the dance clubs.”
I had to laugh at how Mary thought about dating in the current day. Sure, there were a lot of men at the dance clubs, but they weren’t the kind of guys you started relationships with. The guys I had met at clubs were pretty much only good for one-night stands and nothing more than that. Online dating didn’t seem to be much better, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to get involved in the whole matchmaking business.
Dating and finding someone to fall in love with seemed so overwhelming now that things were crumbling with Brandon. I couldn’t even think of getting back out in the market until I figured out what had gone wrong with choosing him. He had felt so right to me. I felt good around him and that was hard to understand now that other things were coming out. Nope, I was definitely going to be taking a dating break.
“Yeah, my friend Mattie wanted me to go out with her this weekend. She always wants to go out now that she broke up with that jerk of a boyf
riend.”
“You should go out. We can keep Connor here again.”
“No, no, he’s already stayed over for two weekends. I can’t have him imposing on your guys all the time.”
“Imposing,” she said loudly. “Absolutely not! Connor is our grandson, and we love having him here. I’d come over and steal him from you every weekend if you’d let me.”
“I know you guys love him and he really does love coming over, I just don’t think going out three weekends in a row is a good idea. Plus, have you seen my dance moves? I’m no good at dancing, anyways,” I laughed.
“You stop it right now, young lady. I’ve decided already that Connor and I have a date Friday, so you’ll just have to go out with your friends. He’s wanted to see that new animated movie and I really want some buttered popcorn,” she said. “So, it’s decided. I’ll get him from school Friday, and you can go do whatever you want to do. You can just sit in your bathtub and read a book for all I care; but take some time and relax or go out and have fun.”
“I remember Spencer telling me about this bossy side of yours,” I teased. “Fine, I’ll let you take him to the movies.”
She reached her arms around me and hugged me tighter than I’d been hugged in a very long time. I loved the feeling of her arms wrapped around me and the comfort I felt there with Mary. For a moment, I considered telling her everything that was going on with Brandon, but I decided against it. When I knew more, then I’d tell her.
We spent the rest of the evening as a family, cooking dinner, eating around the table, laughing, and enjoying each other’s company. I hoped that when I finally found someone else, they’d be able to understand just how much Mary and Steve would always mean to Connor and I. It was a tall order to think that a new man would be accepting of my late husband’s parents, but if I ever actually settled down, I wanted to find someone that had a heart big enough to understand this complex part of my past.
By the time I was driving home with Connor, we were both exhausted. Visiting others almost always took an emotional toll on me. I had to be happy and funny. I had to interact without making them sad because of the loss we’d endured. Even though I felt very comfortable with Mary and Steve, I still had the stress of trying to show them how well adjusted I was.
When we pulled into the driveway and climbed into our beds, there was a relief that drained from me. At home, I could be myself. In my own bed, I didn’t have to worry about making anyone else happy or if they were uncomfortable because I brought up my late husband. In my house, all I had to worry about was me and my son; I really liked that.
But when I was with Brandon, I hadn’t worried, either. As much as I tried not to think about him, as I lay in my bed, I did think about Brandon and just how comfortable I was around him. I knew Connor would have been comfortable with him, too, and that made me incredibly sad.
There were three voicemails from Brandon that I deleted without even listening to them. My life was complicated enough – I didn’t need whatever was going on in his life interfering with the stability I had built for Connor and me.
Chapter Eighteen
Brandon
“Everything is frozen, Josh!” I screamed into the phone after trying to use my card to get coffee.
Not only was my credit card frozen, my bank account, my brokerage account, everything had been frozen. When I called the bank, they said it was frozen from an unknown entity. There weren’t enough swear words to encapsulate how I was feeling.
“I’ll meet you at your house,” Josh said.