The next set started up and brought a wave of relief. When the music was playing, the attention was off me and my particularly out-of-place dress. The simple dress was straight off the rack at some big box store, but it fit so perfectly that it could have been couture. I regretted every clinging curve of it as the bartender's eyes swept back to me.
"Another drink for the lady?" he oozed over to stand in front of me.
"Make it two." Ginny popped up next to me, and I wrapped her in a long hug. "Well," she giggled, "either you've gone to the next extreme or you really want him to think you play for the other team."
"I don't care. I'm just glad you came." I snapped up our drinks and headed for a little, round table in the corner. "I needed someone else's take on this place."
Ginny eyed her chair, shrugged, and sat down. "A little out of the way, a little dark, and a little, ah, sticky," she shifted in her seat, "but the music sounds good."
"Right?" I sat down and concentrated on the jazz trio. They had a loose and funky interpretation of the classic songbook, but I liked their style. If my drink slid down my throat too fast, it was just because I was wrapped up in the music. It had nothing to do with erasing that photograph of Penn from my mind.
How could he have smiled like that minutes after our whole connection fell apart?
"Corsica?" Ginny's soft voice broke into my thoughts. "You realize you're singing along, right?"
"Am I off-key?" I asked, with a jaunty smile.
"No," she said, slipping my almost-drained glass away from me. "It's just I don't think this band intended to have a singer tonight."
"They should," I said. Why was my voice so loud? Maybe it was just in my own ears. "I could sing for them. Maybe I should sing for them."
"Maybe you should shut up," a woman two tables over snapped.
"And maybe you should mind your own business." I felt my eyebrows clash together in a tight frown. Maybe that was why there was a faint throbbing pain starting in my head. "I'm just trying to follow my dream here. You got a problem with that?"
"Maybe you should get your friend under control," the woman told Ginny.
I snorted. "Can you believe her? Bet she's all straight-laced and nine-to-five. Can you believe I ever wanted to be like that? Yuck."
Ginny looked worried. "Let's talk about that," she said in a soft voice, "quietly while everyone else enjoys the music."
"Music without singing. I could totally sing this song," I announced. I tried to stand up, but my feet didn't get the idea. The floor's too sticky, I thought.
"Let the lady sing along, if she wants," the drummer called out with a wink. "She can right up here and sit on my lap, if she wants to."
Ginny locked a hand on my arm and didn't let go until the set was over. Then, she relaxed just a bit, and I slipped free. Instead of heading for the stage, as she feared, I gestured to the bar and headed that way. Ginny joined me, and by some amazing silent stare, convinced the bartender not to serve me another drink.
"Come on, Gin," I giggled. "I thought you wanted me to let go. I thought you wanted me to work on being a singer in a place like this."
"Not exactly how I pictured it," she said.
"It ain't no good life, but it's my life," the drummer said as he sidled up to join us.
I poked a finger in his chest. "I know that song. Ella Fitzgerald sings my favorite arrangement."
"So you really are a singer?"
Ginny leaned over and gave him a fierce look. "She's just considering it. So we're exploring the places around here."
The drummer took off his bowler hat and scratched his shaggy hair. My heart flipped as the wild tangles reminded me of Penn. "Well, if this place ain't your style, I could give you a few suggestions."
Ginny politely wrote down the clubs and bars that the scruffy musician suggested. Then, she clamped a tight hand on my elbow and steered me to the door. "What has gotten into you?" she asked when we climbed outside into the fresh night air.
"What do you mean?"
"You're nearly drunk. You're hanging out in a seedy little hole with musicians that look as if they might live on the street. Are you telling me that's what you envision the rest of your life is going to look like?" Ginny hauled me to the street corner.
I pulled back. "I might have to get used to it. If I refused to find a job that utilizes my college degree, then I'm starting at the bottom. I can work my way up."