It wasn't just a matter of money – I had more than enough of that. But flying across the country every week or two would be tough. It wasn't just a matter of getting on the plane; it was going through airports, security, waiting for planes, taking taxis, and that was when we could fit it into our busy schedules. It all added up, and neither of us could afford to be chronically exhausted from excessive traveling.
I pulled into my driveway and parked, sitting there for a moment deep in thought. When I got out, I walked slowly into my house. I had a lot to think about, even though I knew what I would do –the only honest and decent thing to do.
Not telling Eryn about the offer certainly meant she'd stay here, our secret relationship would continue, and I could take this tea
m to the top of the division. I'd win praise and admiration, as would Eryn. After another year, she'd graduate, and then we could finally go public with our relationship and no longer have to meet in secret.
But she'd miss out on the chance to go to one of the top universities in the country, fully funded, and play with the very best, hand-picked players from across the country.
Right now, she'd told me about some situation with her scholarship here at FSU. While she hadn't given me all of the details, it seemed that there were a few problems and that if things didn't go perfectly, they'd withdraw the scholarship.
I didn't know the full details of her financial situation, but it was obvious enough. With her mom's medical troubles, if Eryn lost that scholarship, I knew that she'd have to drop out of college.
I knew the right thing was for her to take this opportunity. There was no way around it. If she and I could somehow make things work with being on different coasts, well...I guessed I could only dream of that.
But that concern was secondary. Eryn's future was at stake, and I needed to tell her about this soon.
With a heavy heart, I picked up my phone and dialed her number. “Hi, Coach Vinson,” she said as she answered.
I guessed from her tone of voice and the fact that she was calling me Coach Vinson that she was with her sister. But that didn't matter; I was, after all, talking about “official business” here.
“Look, Eryn, I've got some real big news. About volleyball. And, I think that your mom and sister will want to hear it, too. Is it all right if I come over to your place?”
“Um, all right. Do you know how to get here?”
I chuckled as she said that; I knew she was only saying that to get her sister off her case.
“I think I remember,” I replied. “When can I come over?”
“Well, my mom and sister are here now, so whenever is good,” she stated.
“Perfect. I'll see you in a few minutes.”
I cut off the call and sighed. Just as things were starting to feel right between us, it was going to end. I should have known it had been too good to be true, too much of a fairytale for it to last forever. Still, I could at least take pride in knowing that I was doing the right thing.
I locked up my house, got into my car, and began the drive to Eryn’s apartment, knowing that neither of our lives would be the same after I'd finished telling her about the offer.
*****
I waited for some kind of response, but everyone was silent, and they remained silent for longer than I was comfortable with. I was focused on Eryn. There were tears forming in her beautiful eyes – tears of joy and of sadness at once. She understood immediately what the opportunity meant for her future, but also what it meant for us.
Her sister was the first to break the silence.
“Wow. Stanford. Oh my God, Eryn, Stanford!” She said in stages like it was just starting to sink in. “Stanford! They're going to give you a full scholarship! And, you'll be playing with the best players from all over the country!”
I could see she wanted to resist, though, as tempting as the offer was.
“But...I'll be away from Mom. Who's gonna look after her if I'm not here?”
“I can look after myself, young lady,” her mother said. “I may be a little under the weather now, but I'm getting better! Eryn, this is one of the greatest opportunities of your life! You'll never get another chance like this. I'd be the worst mother in the world if I allowed you stay here and give up a dream like that. Come on...there's no way you can turn this down. Don't worry about me. For once, put yourself first.”
Eryn looked across at me, her eyes pleading with me to give her a reason to stay. I wanted to, but I simply couldn't. I wasn't going to be selfish and throw her future away for my own sake.
“Eryn, I agree totally with your sister and your mother,” I said. “This is the biggest opportunity of your life. You absolutely have to grab it with both hands, right now. The scout told me that if you waste time, they may withdraw the offer and give it to someone else instead. You have to take it – you really do.”
I looked away, unable to look her in her eyes. There was too much sadness in my own eyes, and I didn't want her to see that.
Everyone in the room fell silent. After a few moments, Eryn spoke in a quiet but determined tone of voice. “All right,” she said. “It seems like there is only once choice here, really: I guess I'm going to Stanford.”