I tried to avoid Erik for the next few days that I worked. I even asked to work on the secure unit if there was enough staff to supervise me. He made me uneasy, nervous, and distracted, and I wasn’t really sure I liked any of those feelings. I had to just stay away from the guy, or at least try to stay away.
Men in general made me uncomfortable now that I was sober. I didn’t know how to interact with them and certainly wasn’t sure if I had the energy to be anything more than friends. Most men wanted sex or some sort of relationship, and I could barely manage myself at the moment; I wasn’t going to get into any sexual relationships with a guy.
My girlfriends and friends at AA were enough for me. Being sober was exhausting as I constantly felt the urge to drink. That instant relief of my anxiety was something that was difficult for anyone to understand; well, anyone who wasn’t an alcoholic.
But inevitably, Mr. March had me assigned to work on Erik’s unit, and I couldn’t convince anyone to trade with me. It wasn’t surprising that when I wanted to trade, everyone else was miraculously busy; yet when they wanted me to work for them, everyone expected me to be fine with it. That was pretty mu
ch the story of my life at Paradise Peak, but I dealt with it and didn’t complain. It was nice to be sober, have a good-paying job, and get to hang out with people and talk as my job for most of the day.
I reluctantly sauntered into work at eight in the morning and made my way to the nurses’ desk without looking around at all. I couldn’t risk making eye contact with him. I couldn’t risk an accidental meeting. No, I would interact with him on my terms. With enough time to prepare and focus myself so I wasn’t so damn distracted by him and his charms.
Luckily, as I went about handing out morning breakfast trays, Erik was nowhere to be seen. If I could make it through breakfast, I was in the clear for at least a few hours because I had volunteered to go with the recreation therapist and a few patients on a hike that morning before lunch. I didn’t necessarily enjoy hiking, but I was excited to get away from Erik. He wasn’t going to be in a good mood as he continued to come down, and I was a little afraid of how much harder to handle he was going to be.
Melanie was our recreation therapist, and she was also a personal trainer. Sometimes our clients wanted to use their time in treatment to get back into shape and we provided her services free of charge to them. It seemed to me like patients who put their own health ahead of relaxation were better able to stick with their sobriety, but I didn’t really have scientific evidence of that. I just had more people coming back for a second and third round of treatment who had been relaxing during their first stint at our facility.
“Can you go get Mr. Levy up? He needs to come eat; he’s been sleeping through breakfast the last few days,” the nurse for the day said.
“Let him sleep and be hungry; maybe he’ll learn his lesson,” I snapped in a totally uncharacteristic way for me.
Susan, the nurse on the unit that day, looked at me in total shock. She was one of the kindest people I knew. Susan was a grandmother and babied the clients even more than I did. She knew it wasn’t in my nature to act so crude toward a patient and the look on her face flashed total disappointment in how I had behaved.
“I’m sorry, it’s been a rough morning,” I said in quick reply to her disappointed eyes. “I’ll go right in.”
Reluctantly, I made my way to Erik’s room to get his ass up and out of bed. On his first morning, he had come out and made an effort to eat, so it was disappointing that he had reverted to the idea that sleeping his stay away was a good idea. No one ever made it through treatment without actually getting up and participating.
Mentally, I focused myself. I was going to be stern, firm, and give real guidelines for him. I was going to treat him just like any other patient, and I wasn’t going to get distracted by his smile, or his winking at me, or anything else. Focus was all I was going to do.
“Mr. Levy, it’s time for breakfast,” I said as I stood in his doorway. “Oh, shit, really?”
Erik was standing in front of his mirror in the bathroom totally naked. My eyes instantly focused on his astonishing muscular build and I couldn’t help but let them linger on his divine ass. It had been over two years since I had seen a naked man and none of them had been nearly as beautiful as this one.
His skin was tanned and every curve of muscle was visible. He certainly looked like he was in good shape for a guy who was an addict. Typically, addicts weren’t hanging out at the gym and working on their body; they were too busy drinking and drugging.
“Sorry,” he said as he turned around exposing his very ample-sized member to me.
“Seriously?” I said as he stood there naked.
“I can cover up, sorry.” He reached for the incredibly small towel and held it up over his beefy whistle as he walked toward me. “I don’t have a door, you know. Sorry for the exposure.”
“Um. It’s…well, it’s breakfast time.”
I was flustered. As much as I tried not to be, I was. I couldn’t help it. In front of me was a tanned, toned, perfect specimen of a man. Sure, he was a bit of an arrogant asshole, but I would bet my life that he was damn good with the ladies. Erik had probably never had a woman tell him no in his life.
My experience with men certainly didn’t include a guy like him. While I had been drinking, I dated other, similarly drunk losers, and before that, I had dated dorky guys from high school. The idea of a guy like Erik hadn’t even crossed my mind before his naked body crossed my eyes.
“I know, I was just getting ready to come eat,” he said as his eyes wandered down my body and focused on my hips and center.
He licked his lips and then let his eyes move back up toward my eyes. He had no shame at all. Erik Levy was in his first days of drug treatment, yet he was clearly more focused on embarrassing me than he was on his recovery.
As much as I enjoyed looking at his divine body, he wasn’t the type of guy I would give the time of day. I didn’t have energy for his games or the random flirting he seemed to do in hopes of getting me to flirt back with him. I had been single for two years because I was working on myself and wanted to be a better person; it would take a pretty damn good guy to break my dry streak.
“Well then, get out there and stop all this nonsense. I work here; I’m not going to sleep with you.”
“Who said I wanted to sleep with you?” he responded incredulously.
He pretended like all that flirting and talking he was doing didn’t mean he wanted to sleep with me. It was insane. The first day, he had asked me to lick whipped cream off his erect penis. He was driving me crazy with his games, and I didn’t want to play anymore.
“You did. I’m not going to have it. I’m a professional, and you’re here to get better. So, knock it off.”