For nearly a half of an hour after Brianna was taken away, the unit was quiet. Everyone sat in the day area or in their rooms. Anytime the phone rang, we anxiously thought it was news about her. Even Mr. March sat with us as we contemplated what had just happened.
This young, vibrant mother of three had been brought to our facility in a last ditch effort to get help. Her husband had feared for his wife’s wellbeing and threatened to leave her if she didn’t get help. So, she had reluctantly agreed to be admitted. But had it been too late? Had the lies she told about her usage amount caused her to risk her life even more than she had been?
Many people didn’t understand how dangerous withdrawals from alcohol really were. On admission, our staff always tried to get honest answers from people, but alcoholics and drug addicts weren’t the most honest of people. If a potential patient reported drinking too much alcohol, we required them to detox at the local hospital; it was the safest place to be if something bad happened. But there was no way to know for sure if someone was lying about how much they drank.
“You were great this morning,” I said to Erik as I went and sat at his table with him and Brad.
“He was a fucking rock star,” Brad added. “Seriously, dude, if I was ever dying, I’d totally want it to be around you.”
“I think that was a compliment,” Erik said as he looked at me and we both laughed.
Brad was a funny fellow. One minute he was joking, the next he was telling you how horrible something was. I always had to take a minute and process what he was saying just to make sure he wasn’t actually saying something horrible to me. I tried not to take offense though, even when he was a bit horrible; it was just his personality.
“Yeah, I think so.”
“That was scary as hell, though. I really hope she’s all right,” Erik added.
“I know. She’s got a husband and three little girls. I could tell she loved them so much. I hope someone called them.”
“Yeah, I heard Mr. March call her husband,” Brad added.
“Life is so short. I mean, seriously. Any one of us could be killed in an accident. It’s stupid all the shit we do to risk our lives even more than natural selection does,” I said.
No one responded to my statement, but I could tell both of the guys were thinking about it. Addiction was a terrible disease. So many people in the world thought it was a choice, but I knew better. Not only from my own life, but by watching what had just happened with Brianna. There was no way she wanted to leave her precious children and die. She didn’t drink because she wanted to. There was an addiction that had a hold of her so deeply that it was taking away everything that she held dear to her heart. I closed my eyes and held my hands together as I said a little prayer for Brianna to make it through the day.
When I opened my eyes, I saw Erik praying, as well as Brad. It was all we could do. There was nothing else we could offer Brianna as she fought as hard as she could to live through her addiction.
Chapter Ten
Erik
I hadn’t prayed since the day before my mother had been taken from me. But in that moment, as I watched Cassidy say a prayer for the new girl who had basically died in her room that morning, I had to pray.
Something inside me said it would help. I couldn’t explain it. I didn’t even know if I believed God was out there. But there was a drive deep inside of me that called me to do everything possible for this poor woman.
I didn’t know what it was like to be married. I didn’t know what it was like to be a parent. But I did know what it was like to regret. I prayed for Brianna and that if there was a God, He would keep her safe.
I prayed that God would give her a chance to make things right and be the mother she knew she could be to her children.
My own mother had believed so powerfully in prayer that the moment made me feel closer to her. Even if I didn’t believe anything good would come out of that prayer, at least I had the joy of feeling close to my mother for the tiniest of minutes.
“All right, everyone, I know we are all worried about Brianna, but we need to keep going with our day. Cassidy, can you start handing out lunch, please?” Mr. March interrupted.
“Yep,” she replied with a fake smile plastered across her face.
It was hard to imagine that we were supposed to continue on with our day like nothing had happened. Something very bad had happened and I wasn’t really in the mood for sitting in boring group meetings while I talked about my plan for the future.
We were all oddly silent as lunch came around. Brad didn’t even bother to complain or ask what his meal was made of. Every one of us was thinking that what happened to Brianna could have easily happened to any of us. Hell, it had pretty much happened to me, although I only remembered the hospital and not the paramedics rescuing me.
“I don’t feel like groups today,” I said as Jarrod came around to gather us all up for afternoon group.
“You’re coming,” he said.
The firm expression on his face made it clear that I was attending group whether I liked it or not. Reluctantly, I went to afternoon group. He could strong arm me into attending, but he certainly couldn’t force me to participate.
Everyone from my unit was in group that day. I assumed that Jarrod had strong armed them like he had done to me. None of us looked like we wanted to be there, though. I know I kept thinking about the night I had fallen into the pool and how it could have been my last day. I imagined everyone else was thinking about the incidents that happened to them which could have been their last days.
“So, let’s talk about it,” Jarrod said. “We just saw a woman die and be brought back to life by a shock from a couple of paddles. What’s that feel like?”