“You could give him that sweatshirt you bought for cousin Henry. We aren’t seeing him until next weekend, we can get him something else by then,” my father added.
“Perfect idea, Bob.”
It wasn’t very often that my father came up with a good idea, and it was even more infrequent that my mother acknowledged the idea. She loved him dearly, but he often wasn’t paying attention enough to contribute to any sort of idea generating.
“So, can I go back out there?” I asked as I inched closer to the door.
“Yeah, but you keep an eye on him. I don’t want anything bad happening and you’re to blame.”
“Like what, Mom? What bad could happen while he’s sleeping on the couch?”
Both my father and I laughed at how ridiculous my mother was at times. She was bossy and domineering, and even when there was nothing to worry about, she found something to worry about. Sometimes I had to wonder how my father put up with her all these years, but then in the very next moment I would wonder how my mother put up with him for the same number of years.
“Oh, just go,” she said in exasperation and waved me out the door.
I didn’t wait another second and quickly left their room and went back out to the living room where unsurprisingly, Erik was asleep. He looked like a large, teenage boy as he slept all curled up on the couch with every single blanket my mother had given him. Even though he was thoroughly covered up, he still looked like he was freezing.
He and I would have a lot to talk about in the morning. Or at the very least, I would have to apologize for behaving so badly toward him. I felt horrible for how I had talked to him, and even though it would be Christmas in the morning, I had to find the time to set things straight.
If Erik was going to get to know me, he was going to have to learn that I didn’t always think logically. Sometimes I was a bit wild and disrespectful. Maybe I would grow out of it as I grew older, or maybe that was all just part of my personality – I really didn’t know for sure. All I knew was that I felt horrible and I didn’t like feeling like that.
When I woke up, it was already light outside and I heard my mother and father in the living room talking with Erik. I pressed my ear to the door to see if I could hear what they were saying, but I couldn’t. It didn’t seem like the best of ideas to leave Erik out there with my parents, but at the same time, I wasn’t sure I really wanted to go out there and listen to them grilling him with questions.
Hopefully, he knew that he could be honest with them now and just talk to my parents like he would talk to anyone else. My parents wouldn’t really care that I had brought him home from work, as long as Erik didn’t make it sound like we were sleeping together. If he made any of those types of comments, I would surely be mortified and my father would be crazy angry.
“Thanks for having me,” I heard Erik say as I walked down the hallway. “This sweatshirt is beautiful; I really appreciate it.”
“What’s going on?” I asked, confused at why Erik was standing by the door and looked like he was leaving.
No matter what had happened between us, I wanted him to stay for Christmas Day. He didn’t need to leave. I knew I had made him feel bad, but he didn’t need to leave. If I could just get him alone for a minute and we could talk, I was sure we could work things out. He had to be leaving because of me, and now I felt horrible about it.
“Erik’s going to head back to Paradise Peak,” Mom replied. “He’s tired and just wants to rest.”
“I’m glad you’re up. Thank you so much for having me here with your family. I really appreciate it. Spending time with you all has given me a clearer vision for my goals, and I really can’t thank you enough.”
“You should stay. We have presents to open and cookies to eat. It will be a great day.”
“No, I better get going. I have a lot of things I need to work on, and I don’t want to be lazy about my treatment.”
My heart sank. He was throwing my own words back at me. I hadn’t meant them, though. I was just agitated and angry that my parents had caught me in a lie. Sometimes, I felt like I was the biggest jerk. Nothing I had said to Erik meant that I truly wanted him to leave, because I didn’t want that.
Actually, despite our argument, I had been looking forward to spending Christmas with him. I had planned that we could make sugar cookies and decorate them. It was going to be a great time and would give us some more time to talk. But it was looking more like I would have to make those cookies alone.
“Don’t go,” I said as I moved closer to him. “It’s Christmas, you don’t need to go.”
Desperately, I wanted to make him stay. He had come so he would have a good Christmas for a change, and now it was all getting ruined. Not only was he leaving my house after we had fought, but he was going straight back to treatment.
The only good thing about it all was that Erik hadn’t relapsed. Hopefully, he had gotten a tiny taste of what it was like to be outside of treatment and have to deal with your emotions and other issues that would come up.
“I have to; my taxi is here.” He smiled. “Thanks again.”
And just like that, he was gone and I felt like the biggest jerk in the world. What had been a beautiful Christmas Eve had actually ruined Erik’s Christmas Day. I could hardly stand still as my guilt started to spread across my body.
Even if Erik and I were only friends, I should have been nicer to him. Actually, because we were friends, I should have been more understanding and talked to him like a friend would and not like an angry girlfriend. As I watched his taxi drive away, I hoped that he would have a decent Christmas and that I hadn’t totally ruined it.
Chapter Sixteen
Erik