Spending time with Cassidy was a great joy, and I certainly would miss it when I had to go home. I wanted to invite her out to see me and maybe take her on a date, but I wasn’t sure that would be interesting to her. She had her own plans for the future and they certainly didn’t involve moving to California.
It was entirely possible that the two of us would just end up long-distance friends and nothing more. Although I could also see a possibility where we ended up as much more than friends. Sometimes, I even imagined she was on my arm as I went to a movie premiere with my new studio deal. Cassidy was certainly beautiful enough to walk a red carpet, and everyone would think she was an actress.
“Are you getting excited to leave?” Her question interrupted my thoughts.
“I am, but then I’m not. It’s overwhelming to think about going back to my old life, but being sober while I do it. I don’t even know what I’ll do on my weekends. I use to have a party almost every single one.”
“What about working out? How about using that to fill the time?”
“I can do that, but then what? I don’t exactly have hobbies.”
“Trust me – it’s going to be tough. At least back at home, you’ll have dozens of options for meetings. Test a few out until you find one you like. You can get a good core group of friends who will be there to help support you.”
“The closer I get, the more afraid I get.”
“Totally normal.”
“What would you say to the possibility of coming out to California and letting me take you on a date?”
She paused as she looked around to see if anyone was there or within ear shot of us. I knew it was a normal precaution, but it still made me worry she would say no to my offer. I had to see her outside treatment, but I understood if it wasn’t something she would be interested in.
“Can I think about it?”
“Sure,” I replied as I tried to hide my utter devastation.
She couldn’t even admit to wanting to go on a real date with me. It overwhelmed my soul. I knew she had her life in Aspen and I had my life in San Francisco, but somehow, I had thought she would have jumped at the idea and said yes right away. I thought it was just somatic to even ask her, but I had sorely been mistaken.
“All this talk about me leaving is a big downer. How about we race to the bottom?” I asked Cassidy.
“Sure, go!” she yelled without giving me a chance.
Cassidy slid down the rocks quickly and right past Melanie. She was moving too fast to hear Melanie call after her, but I was right there when she yelled.
“Slow down, you’re going to hurt yourself,” Melanie yelled.
“Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on her. The worst that could happen is she’ll turn into a snowball.” I laughed as I started to run after Cassidy.
Her red hair was easy to spot in the white snow covering the mountains. She was moving quickly, and I felt a little uncomfortable running as fast as I was running on the snowy trail. But if Cassidy could do it, certainly I could do it, as well.
I let myself go as I ran faster and faster down the hill. My feet weren’t in control and I certainly didn’t feel like the rest of my body had control over the situation, at all. It felt like I was running a million miles a minute, but I didn’t stop. The faster I moved, the less space was between Cassidy and me.
“I’m coming for you,” I teased as I got closer to her.
“Don’t you dare tackle me,” she yelled back toward me as we ran faster.
“Oh, I hadn’t thought of that. Thanks for the idea!” I said as I literally jumped up into the air and tackled Cassidy into the snow bank on the edge of the trail.
“I said not to do it.” She laughed.
“I’m a rebel, you know that by now.”
I stayed there on top of her and looked into her beautiful eyes. Soon, I would have to go home and she would be here – it didn’t seem fair that I would meet a girl who I actually liked and she would live so far away.
“Yes.” She laughed.
“Yes, what?”
“I’ll come visit you sometime.”