It seemed logical when Spencer and I had talked, but as I talked with Cassidy, I felt more and more like an asshole for not calling. The connection between us was still strong; I felt the physical chemistry even through the phone. But she didn’t sound like herself. She sounded sad, and I absolutely hated that. I was angry that I might have had any part of making her feel like that.
Life was going well for me. I had taken the last six months to work on myself and my business. I was going to AA meetings and participating in programming. I had a personal trainer and was eating healthier than I had been before…although I did eat meat again.
Spencer and I had made our deal to produce movies, and it was exhilarating to be part of it all. Movies were such a great way to transform people. In one movie, you could make people feel happy, sad, and excited.
Nothing in my life had ever come without hard work, though, and the movie studio was no different. But this time instead of letting myself get lost in the high level of work, I made it a point to schedule time for myself.
I had a new personal assistant who was fabulous at getting me out of my office everyday by a quarter to six so I could make my AA meeting on time. I was open and honest with the people in my life, and that seemed to be working really well for me.
Even my family and I were getting along better than I could ever remember. They had finally gotten over the shock of me paying off their debts and were finally able to relax and hire a full-time funeral home director to take some of the pressure off of them.
My brother even had a girlfriend now who I was beyond excited to meet when I flew back for the Fourth of July. Heath sounded pretty excited about this girl, and she sounded like a really nice woman.
When I had answered the phone call from Cassidy’s phone, I really thought it was her. I had put her phone number into my phone the day I left the treatment facility. I had pulled her number up a couple of times, but then hung up when I couldn’t think of what I wanted to say to her.
If I hadn’t already made plans to go to my family’s house for the holiday, I would have definitely have gone to Bob’s event. I hoped that he didn’t think I had just denied it because I was too busy working. I wanted to see Cassidy. I needed to see her.
From the time I talked with Cassidy on the phone until the moment my plane landed at home and I greeted my brother, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. She had consumed my mind. Not just because we had finally got to talk, but also because I felt like I had done her wrong. She had to know I still cared about her. Even though I was busy with my life, I thought about her all the time.
My thoughts must have shown through as my brother picked me up from the executive airport and drove me back to his house.
“Well, you are either in love or you’ve got pneumonia,” he joked. “You look like shit.”
“There’s a girl. She asked me to come to Aspen to a big party at her parents’ resort, and I said no because I was coming here. I think she thought I just didn’t want to come.”
“Then call her and tell her you want to come,” Heath said without hesitating.
He said it like there was no other option. In his mind, the whole thing seemed so simple, but in my mind, I had made it as complex as it could possibly be. I was terrified of rejection. I couldn’t stand the thought of showing Cassidy how I felt and having her turn me down. I really didn’t know how I would deal with something like that.
“But I told you and Dad I’d be here.”
Heath just started to laugh. I loved his laugh; it seemed like it had been years since he had been happy. He had met the woman of his dreams – a big part of why he was so damn happy lately – and now he was encouraging me to go after the woman of my dreams.
“Come meet my woman, have some lunch, give Dad a hug, and then take your fancy jet to Aspen and see this girl. You should know better than anyone that life is too short to miss opportunities to show people you care.”
“Damn, when did you get to be so smart?” I laughed.
“Man, I’ll tell you what, love has changed me. I can’t imagine living without this girl. I’m going to marry her. I already know it. I would be a stupid fool to let her go.”
“Good for you, man!” I said as we climbed out of his car and walked into the house.
I could tell they were meant to be together the second I saw Heath standing next to his girlfriend, Kelly. She loved him. There was no doubt in my mind, and he obviously loved her. It was a perfect moment, and I was grateful to have him back in my life.
“Dad, Erik’s just going to visit for a minute. There’s a girl in Aspen he needs to go see.”
“A girl,” my father said. “I like the sounds of this. Both my boys are going to finally settle down and be happy. You know, your mother always wanted to be a grandmother. I’ll have to be a kickass grandpa to make up for her being gone.”
We all laughed, and I stayed and visited for a little bit before heading to Aspen. I didn’t know what I was going to say or what I was going to do when I got there. All I knew was that I had feelings for Cassidy and she needed to hear it from me.
If she denied me, at least I would know that I put everything I had into it. I had messed up with her and I knew it. But I hoped that she was the kind of girl who could forget about my shortcomings and still accept me when I came to her.
I didn’t need her to commit to a happily-ever-after ending – all I needed was Cassidy to give me a chance. I needed her to give us a chance and see if what we had while I was at Paradise Peak would translate into the real world. It was entirely possible it wouldn’t be the same between us, but I really thought it would. Maybe things would even be better than either of us could have imagined.
“Mr. Conrad, please,” I said as I dialed the main number to the resort.
“Who may I a
sk is calling?” the young man asked.