Her smile was beautiful and bright, and I realized once again just how gorgeous Elana was, something that, for some reason, I had never really seen until I came back to Madison. I knew it wasn’t her silky long hair or her face without the glasses, though those definitely highlighted her beautiful face. It was more than that. It was the way she looked at me, the way she brushed her hand across my arm when she laughed, and the fact that we got each other’s humor better than anyone I had ever met.
However, mixed in with the butterflies in my chest was a bit of an awkward feeling, making it hard to swallow sometimes. It was definitely a strange feeling, this attraction to my deceased fiancé’s best friend. I had known her for a long time, but I had never truly seen her until this moment. My emotions were mixed all over the place, and I didn’t know whether to beam or run away, chastising myself for what I was feeling. I wondered if the same thoughts were running through her head.
Just before the silence got weird, Tammy turned the corner carrying two trays
. She set one of them up by Elana, next to me, and the other at the chair across from us. Elana jumped up and went into the kitchen, helping her mom bring out their dinner and beers. We sat there and ate our delicious homemade spaghetti and meatballs and watched the game, laughing and talking as we did. It felt so natural and so real, and I wasn’t even going to try fighting it. I hadn’t felt like that in a really long time, if ever.
Tammy pushed her tray to the side when she was done eating and sat on the edge of her seat, cheering every time her team made a touchdown and booing at every call against them that the refs made. She was boisterous and loud, and it made me laugh, thinking about my dad and how loud he was at football games. As her team made another touchdown, she got up from her chair and did a victory lap around the living room, slapping our hands and embarrassing the hell out of Elana. I thought it was awesome and considered joining in with a little end zone dance to help make her feel less awkward. We laughed and joked through the whole thing, and I didn’t even think about Lillie once. When it hit halftime, Tammy ran off to refill us on beer and snacks, and I looked at Elana and smiled. She wasn’t boisterous at all during the game, but I could tell that she was enjoying watching it. Not to mention she knew the calls and the plays without me coaching her. I was a bit confused by the change of heart.
“What has happened to you?” I asked, smiling. “I used to have to practically drag you and Lillie out to football games. You guys would be literally kicking and screaming. I remember because you accidentally kicked me in the shin that one time and gave me a limp for a week.”
“Oh, my God,” she said, throwing her head back and laughing hard. “I had completely forgotten about that. We were literally kicking and screaming, trying to give you a hard time. Lillie thought it was hilarious that an injury came out of the whole ordeal, and I felt terrible for like a week.”
“Except when you were drunk,” I pointed out. “Then you made fun of me for walking like Hayrettin Barbosa, the pirate.”
“Yes, and then Lillie kept asking for like two hours who that was.” She laughed. “She thought it was the kid in our English class from Greece.”
We laughed so hard I thought I was going to cry. For the first time ever, I thought of a memory with Lillie in it and didn’t break down in grief and sorrow. It was like a gift that I never wanted to give back.
“In reality, though,” she said, still giggling. “I learned to enjoy the sport from all those games you forced me to go to.”
That was the best answer I could have possibly gotten.
Chapter 10
Elana
I carried the dishes from the living room into the kitchen and set them down on the counter. I turned on the water, and my legs felt a bit wobbly. I was a bit tipsy from all the beer I drank during the game. As my hands ran under the water, I giggled thinking about Barbosa and Ollie, something I hadn’t thought about in years. It was pretty impressive that we could share a memory with Lillie in it and not get all down and sad.
The tips of my fingers were all tingly, which was one of my telltale signs that I had drank too much, or in the right circumstances, not enough yet. I didn’t usually drink on what I considered a “school night,” but I had gotten into the spirit of the game with my mom and Ollie, and now, I was really starting to feel the effects of it. I didn’t regret it, though. I had a really good time, probably the best in recent memory. It was, however, going to be an interesting ride home on the bus. My mom had been drinking, too, so I wasn’t going to ask her to give me a lift home. In fact, there was no reason for any of us to drive anywhere, no matter how close Ollie parked his car to the house.
The thought of riding that bus, though, already made me nauseated and slightly freaked out since I was going to be alone and drunk on a public bus back into town. With my luck, I would be riding the same bus as the reverend that worked at my mom’s church. I turned and looked as footsteps approached, seeing Ollie turn the corner and fire another beer bottle into the recycling bin. He wobbled slightly and leaned up against the doorframe, looking over at me. I laughed, shaking my head as I finished rinsing the last of the dishes and put them haphazardly into the dishwasher. I didn’t like being anyone’s keeper, but after Lillie died in that accident, I was super anal retentive about anyone driving a car when they weren’t one hundred percent okay to do so. There was no alcohol involved in her crash, but that didn’t matter. Mistakes had been made.
“I’m going to be heading home soon,” I said, turning and leaning against the sink as I dried my hands on the towel. “I think it’s important you don’t drive. You can ride the bus back with me, or you can stay here. My mom has an extra bedroom. In the morning, she can take you to wherever you parked your car. Either way, I don’t want you getting behind the wheel. You know how I am with cars, or at least, now you know.”
Ollie put his hand on the doorframe and pushed himself up, slipping once and catching himself. He smiled at me from across the room, and I laughed, realizing that he was just as drunk as I was. In fact, he may have been a little bit drunker than I was, seeing as he was having a hard time standing still without weaving back and forth. I rolled my eyes as I laughed, looking over at him as he stepped forward and cleared his throat, obviously wanting to say something to me. This should definitely be interesting.
“I don’t think that will be a problem,” he said, smiling. “I didn’t drive here. I walked.”
“I know you were jogging by my house when I found you, but surely you parked your car somewhere nearby,” I said, giggling. “Did you park at the front entrance to the neighborhood?”
“Nope,” he said, shaking his head. “I walked.”
“Yes, dear, I know you walked the neighborhood, but where did you park the car you drove to get to the neighborhood?”
“Elana.” He laughed. “I’m seriously not that drunk. I didn’t drive here. I walked from my house to this neighborhood and eventually into your house.”
I stared at him for a minute, trying to decipher what he was saying. My eyes started to widen, thinking about the fact that he ran and jogged from campus all the way to my neighborhood. I knew he liked to jog, but seriously, that was a really long way, and the back roads, which I was assuming he took, were not very safe for him to be running on. I shook my head and swallowed hard, stepping forward and looking into his eyes. He smiled with charm, and I shook the laugh out of my throat.
“You mean to tell me you walked and jogged all the way from campus?”
“Yep,” he said, nodding his head. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”
“That is at least an eight-mile walk back to where you came from,” I said. “You know that right?”
“Eight-point-six miles to be exact,” he replied. “I have the app on my phone.”
“I don’t think I have ever walked that far at one time.” I laughed. “Maybe when I went to the zoo when I was a kid, but that was fueled by sugar and furry animals.”