Best Friend's Ex Box Set
Page 41
Epilogue
Three Years Later
Elana
It was funny how one’s perspective could change, depending on the shape of their life, who they encountered, and where their plans lead them. When all the guilt, anxiety, and fear was stripped away, the things that bothered you before sometimes became some of the most exciting things in your life. Case in point: today was the day that the crowds descended onto campus, decked out in their favorite collegiate football gear, ready for an exciting day in the stands. It just so happened that on this day, we would also be part of this surge of bodies, rallying together to support the home team.
Our lives had changed drastically over the last three years, but they were changes that dreams were made of. As I stood in the nursery, surrounded by the decked-out room filled with sporting memorabilia and of course, done in University of Wisconsin colors, I smiled, looking down at my adorable little boy. I tickled his belly as I pulled a Badger outfit over his head, securing it and then buttoning the rest between his legs before pulling on the matching pants. He one-and-a-half already; I just couldn’t believe how fast time flew by. It felt like only yesterday Ollie was telling me just how much he loved me, cooking breakfast in the kitchen at my old house. Now, we had moved into a larger place, with a yard and play area for Sebastian, and our lives were so blissfully normal.
I laughed, looking down at my boy, watching him squirm and giggle beneath me. He wanted to stay at home and play, not understanding the significance of this day for his daddy. I picked him up and sat down on the floor with him between my legs, needing a bit more room for this wiggle worm. It definitely took patience getting a one-and-a-half-year-old dressed, but today was a special day, and I had his outfit made just for the occasion. After several minutes of fighting him to let me finish buttoning and snapping, I pulled my hands away, giggling at the finished project. The hassle had definitely been worth it in the end.
“What do you think?” Ollie asked, appearing in the doorway.
I smiled and laughed, shaking my head at the outfit that now matched his son’s perfectly. Sebastian cooed and giggled on the floor, pointing up at Ollie and repeating, “Dada” over and over again. Ollie’s eyes widened with excitement at Sebastian lying on the floor looking up at him. He walked over smiling big, picking him up off the floor, and holding him high over his head.
“You, sir, look better than I do in this getup.” He laughed. “We’ll have to keep Mommy busy when the ladies swarm us later.”
I laughed loudly, sitting on the floor and watching with fondness as he swung him around slowly, holding him under the arms and making plane noises as he turned. Ollie was obviously excited, and for a good reason. He and I were taking our son to his first ever football game. He had been way too young to brave the cold Wisconsin fall during the last season, but this year, he would get to see it all from his father’s lap. Mike had found out we were going to take Bastian, as I called him, to his first game and surprised us with box tickets, so he could see all the action without getting a beer spilled on his little head. Mike and his family had actually become very good family friends, and we had cookouts with them pretty much the entire summer. We were actually planning a big family and friend Thanksgiving together at my mom’s this year. As could be expected, my mother was already planning for it, so excited to have such life circulating through the house again.
As I sat there watching Ollie play with Bastian, I smiled widely. In the place in my chest where I used to feel a gaping hole, there was now the chitter chatter and cooing of my little boy. In my heart, where I thought it would never be whole again, I felt the warmth of Ollie’s smile. I was so supremely happy at how our lives had turned out. It was better than any daydream I had as a young college student looking up at the ceiling, thinking about Ollie.
These last few years weren’t without trial, but not one bit of that trial was between Ollie and me. In fact, every trial and tribulation that we had faced, we had done it together, holding hands, and facing these things head on with each other’s support. When I used to think of the kind of relationship I wanted, it seemed so impossible, so far away. When Ollie came into my life for good, I realized that I was aiming low, and that real relationships like Ollie and I had were even better than anything I could have dreamed up in my head. The dedication and tough work to keep a relationship alive for most couples was just a daily occurrence for Ollie and me. We had become two peas in a pod, thinking similarly, making the same jokes at the same time, and of course, me still beating the pants off him at putt-putt. I was pretty sure that he had been my servant for at least half of the three years that we had been together, but he just wouldn’t give up on trying to win the game. Part of me really thought he just enjoyed being my servant. My heart beamed all the time, and even in the hard moments, he brought me warmth and comfort that I could never imagine getting anywhere else.
When our pod started to expand, it was the most exciting time of our life yet. I didn’t think I could love anyone as much as I loved Ollie, but when Sebastian was born, sporting his father’s grin and my scrunched-up nose when he laughed, my heart nearly exploded. I could still remember the day that I told him I was pregnant. It had been a warm spring day, and I had gone to the doctor to get a check-up. I had come to the time in my pills where I was supposed to start a new pack but never got a period. I hadn’t really thought anything of it, and then he gave me the news. I was completely floored and went right home, preparing a present that would give Ollie the news. Ollie just embraced me tightly, unable to speak, tears filling his eyes. When Sebastian came, I watched as Ollie transformed from being the perfect husband and perfect partner into the perfect dad. I was pretty sure no one could love someone as much as he loved Sebastian.
I could see the shimmer in Ollie’s eyes the first time he held his son, and he loved him even before that. He spent hours a day just sitting next to me talking to my belly, reading stories, reading the latest football news, and telling him just how excited he was to know he was going to be with us soon. After that, it was all history, and Sebastian and his father had been inseparable. When he woke up at night, Ollie was the first person at his crib to calm him, help feed him, or just sit there for support. There was never a back and forth agreement. Sharing the load, we both took every moment we could to show that little boy how much we loved him.
There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t thank fate for helping me work past my doubts and put my faith in Ollie. Sure, it was scary at first, having been through so much, but it was almost instantaneous once I had given in to the idea that Ollie truly loved me that we became best friends again. Ollie made it really easy for me to trust him, be there for him, and walk beside him as a team. He was caring, committed, and always present, even when he was exhausted. I had worried that being parents would separate our bond a bit, forcing each other to take our stresses out on the other person, but that never happened, not even once. We knew that we were once again in the same boat, so we leaned on each other for strength.
Lillie was still very much a big part of our lives. With all the history we had together, it was impossible for her not to be. Now, though, instead of spiraling out of control and allowing the ghost of Lillie to rule our lives and our decisions, we focused on the good memories, telling stories, laughing, and moving through the grief in a happy and healthy way. I knew she was looking down on me from her happy place, or wherever we go from here, and I know that Sebastian was watched over by her as well. It was a much better way for her ghost to be involved than the torture we
brought onto ourselves.
From the moment I let Ollie back into my life, he had done everything he could to show me that our relationship was unique. He wanted me to never doubt his allegiance or love for me as a person ever again. When it came down to it, when I had given my heart to him, I realized that the doubt I felt before had quickly slipped away, leaving me free to love Ollie with no fears or apprehension. I never doubted his love for me ever again. That strength brought a clarity to our lives that was hard to explain. It was like all the anxiety, and all the fear just floated away, like the dark spaces that had gone when Lillie’s ghost slipped into the mist. We had no reason to wish for it back, and we were so much more in love because of that.
“You ready?” Ollie walked over and helped me up off the floor.
“I am,” I said, smiling at Sebastian. “Let’s grab our coats. It’s going to be a cold one.”
We pulled on our jackets and the matching jacket for Sebastian and headed out the door together. We joined the crowd in red, white, and black, walking down the street laughing, talking, and enjoying the excitement that they all shared for the upcoming game. Sebastian laughed and pointed, and the different people covered in paint or dressed as the mascot just looked at him and smiled. His heart was contagious, and every time Sebastian lit up, I could see a little bit of Lillie shining through.
As we walked, I breathed deeply, taking in the cold Wisconsin air and smiling at my two boys. I could feel a sense of contentment that spread over my body like a wildfire. I had found the perfect man to spend the rest of my life with, and it was so precious and unexpected that I felt that I would never lose appreciation for him. Ollie and I looked at life a little differently than most. We knew it was short and fleeting, and we knew that love was what kept us, as people, going through, surging for a better tomorrow. I tried every day to wake up with a smile on my face and an excited view towards the day ahead of me, and I had Ollie to thank for that. My heart felt like a stadium full of energetic fans. It pulsed and jumped with the beautiful and exciting things that surrounded me on a daily basis. Life was always so sweet now, and I knew it would be for the rest of my life with Ollie by my side. I was overflowing with happiness, and I never wanted it to stop.
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This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places and incidents are products of the writer's imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locales or organizations is entirely coincidental.