I understood, then. I spun around once more and found myself face to face with him, his great dick still in my pussy. I smiled at him. “Sorry, baby,” I whispered.
He nodded, his eyes closed and his eyebrows high on his face. He loved every inch of me, everything I did with my body. He brought his hands up to stroke my breasts, my side. I sighed into him, kissing his chest. I moved my pussy from his dick and instead brought my mouth around it, licking it with my great, dripping tongue. I pulled my whole mouth around it, all the while thinking—God, I’m giving the president a blowjob. God, it’s happening.
Xavier brought his hand over my ear, over my hair as I did it, lightly stroking my skin. “God, baby. That’s so good,” he murmured. His dick was pulsing in my mouth.
Just as I sensed he was about to come, I removed my mouth from his dick and took a step back, away from the couch. I watched as he cowered in the pain of it—in the certainty that he would never come, not again. I laughed for a moment.
“Why do you do this to me?” he called, tapping his chest like a gorilla.
I shook my head and leapt into his arms once more. He swung my body around and penetrated me from above, allowing me to rest my head and enjoy his power and process over me as we made love like humans: face-to-face, with such passion exhibited between us.
“Oh, baby. I’m going to come,” he muttered. I could feel him so deep inside me, and I wanted this. I wanted this. I wanted to be in his arms. I couldn’t remember another time that had ever existed in my life before this. Never.
Finally, he came, roughing into me until the storm was over. He fell from me and wrapped his arms around me and turned toward me, dipping his nose into mine. I sighed and allowed my head to loll back. We gazed into each other’s eyes. My happiness was growing in my heart, in my lungs. I could feel my toes tingling with it: the strange joy of this.
I knew it couldn’t last forever. But God, if it wasn’t good for the occasional evening.
“This doesn’t have to be the last time,” Xavier suddenly blurted, jerking us out of the silence of the moment.
I pulled myself up on my elbow and gazed at him, uncertain of what to say. I sighed. “Xavier. You’re married,” I whispered. I kissed his nose, his mouth once more.
But Xavier didn’t take this excuse. Instead, his eyes grew more intense. He bit his lip and wrapped his fingers tightly around my naked shoulder. “Baby. I don’t think you really understand what I’m saying here,” he murmured.
My heart was racing. I was worried, suddenly, that this was all a scam—that Jason had put him up to this, that they had “caught me in the act” of forcing the president to cheat. I felt the anxiety pushing through my veins, and I pushed back, away from him. I placed my naked foot on the ground, planning my escape. God. I jostled my head. Why did I always let myself get into these terrorizing scrapes?
But he didn’t say anything for a moment. His face seemed completely calm. It wasn’t searching for anything from me. “I have to tell you something, I think,” he whispered.
I swallowed, preparing for the worst. The soft lamp and the music were dwindling in the backdrop of my mind, creating a soft palate, a sort of dreamlike world. “What is it?” I whispered. I still felt the urge to run.
He swallowed. “I think—I think I love you.”
My jaw dropped.
My entire body grew so rigid, forcing me into a state of shock. My eyes said it all: I was panicked. I couldn’t be in love w
ith this man—the married President of the United States. What’s more, I couldn’t be in love with anyone. I couldn’t fall in love. It was against my programming. I needed to be on my game all the time. I couldn’t falter away just for some man.
Although, I reminded myself, that was exactly what had been happening the previous few weeks. I’d been wrapped up in Jason’s game, constantly doing his bidding. I’d been too wrapped up with anger and resentment and fear—fear for my love of Xavier, surely—to really notice that I’d fallen for him.
But I had to snap out of it. “Xavier.” I brought my hand across his shoulder. “I really like this. I like what we’re doing here. It’s a great deal of fun.” I watched his eyes as they spoke of such disappointment. I swallowed. “But we’re just having fun. That’s all.”
Xavier righted himself on the couch, removing his arms from around my shoulders, my body. He hung his head in his hands, looking like the very portrait of sadness. He sighed.
Panicked, I flung myself up. I laid my hand on his back. “Xavier, that doesn’t mean I don’t want this—I don’t want this—“
But his face had caved in a bit. He shook his head slightly, biting his lip. “I’m going to leave her.”
My jaw dropped. My heart was beating so fast in my chest suddenly, I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Unsure of what to say, I just began stroking his back with my light fingertips, ready to listen.
“We’ve been growing apart for a long time. And now—with my feelings for you—“ He shook his head then. His eyes were searching ever around the room. “I can’t turn my back on this.” He brought his hand on my knee and rubbed at the skin, tracing up toward my pussy.
God, how he knew his way around my body.
“With my feelings for you, I’m ready to take the final step.”
I just looked at him, my sexuality stirring. I didn’t know whether to kiss him or smack him across the face. I didn’t know how to tell him that leaving his wife and admitting this affair to the world would officially ruin my career. I didn’t know how to tell him that this—this love of his was exactly what I wanted, in so many words. And yet: it couldn’t be the answer to all my troubles.
“Say something,” Xavier whispered to me, bringing his hand up to my ear, gazing into my eyes. “Please, Amanda. Say something to me. Anything.”