“No, ma’am,” he replied. “I’m not much for joining things, and I’ve only ever been a Navy man!”
I laughed again as I snuggled in next to him. It felt good to be safely wrapped in his strong arms. I pressed my head against his chest and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat soon lulled me into a deep and dreamless sleep.
PROTECTOR #2
The next morning, slowly emerging from sleep, I was confused by my unfamiliar surroundings. As I lazily stretched my arms, my hand touched the body next to me and panic set in. What did I do? It all came flooding into my brain as I remembered the way I’d confessed everything to Brian. I’d told him all my secrets and shared all of my shame about my relationship with Dominic, and then I replayed the kiss and everything that followed.
Oh no! I flipped over and looked at him sleeping so peacefully next to me, and was horrified that I’d let him so far into my life. Now he had all the information he needed about what happened between me and Dominic, and he would tell my father everything! I’d spent the past year figuring out how to get away from a man who had so totally controlled my life that he’d almost killed me, and then I’d let the man that my father hired to control my life into my bed and here I was again, right back to where I started. Plus, he didn’t even know me. I’d spent one day with him, and look where this had ended up. I was making bad choices again, and I needed to eliminate these men from my life, not allow them more access. I was disgusted with myself for being so weak and needy.
I rolled over and watched Brian as he slept. He was restless, and his face never seemed to stop moving. He looked as if he were acting out his dreams, and occasionally he’d yelp or mumble something unintelligible. He obviously had issues, but what they were was not my problem. My issue was to get rid of the bodyguard and not have my father prying into every area of my life when all he cared about was his own reputation.
I’m going to have to cut this off as quickly and painlessly as possible, I thought as I watched Brian sleep. The memory of his hands on my body and the careful way he’d touched my skin made me shiver, but I knew that if I got too attached to him now, it would just make it harder to let go later. I had to do it; for both of us. He didn’t need me to complicate his life any more than I needed him to complicate mine. I braced myself and set the plan in motion. First thing first, I grabbed my discarded clothes from the floor and put them on before sitting back down on the edge of the bed farthest away from where he was sleeping.
“Brian,” I said softly as I shook him. “Brian, wake up.”
It only took a few seconds for him to hear my wakeup call, and when he did, he bolted up out of bed, poised for attack. “Ready, SIR!” he yelled.
“Brian, it’s me, Ava,” I said quietly—and a little shocked. I was afraid that he wasn’t fully awake yet, and in this state of readiness, I was worried that he’d mistake me for someone else. “Good morning, Mr. Bodyguard.”
“Huh?” he rubbed his eyes and shook his head before looking over at me, and in a voice still groggy with sleep, he said, “Wait, what?”
“It’s time to get up. I’ve got class,” I said in an all-business tone. “We need to get going.”
“Ava, are you okay?” he said in a tone that conveyed extreme concern. “Is something wrong?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I replied. “I just need to get going. I’ve got a big day on campus and I need to pick up my books before we head over to the quad.”
When he reached across the bed and grabbed my hand, I quickly withdrew and got up off the bed. I began anxiously pacing the floor as I tried not to lose my cool.
“Ava,” he began.
“No, don’t,” I said stopping him cold. “It’s fine. Last night was nice, but it was a big mistake. We should not have done that. You work for my father, and I need to focus on my schoolwork, not on being romanced by my personal protection agent.”
“But I don’t think —” he interrupted.
“You might not, but I do,” I replied. “Last night was a mistake that we should both forget. You are here to protect me from that whacko, Dominic, and I need to focus on my classes.”
Brian started to object, then stopped and looked away. “Fine,” he mumbled. “I’ll stay on my side of the suite and maintain constant vigilance.”
I couldn’t tell if he was mocking me or being serious, but for the time being, I didn’t care. I’d dealt with the situation, and now it was time to get to class.
“Get dressed,” I said. “I don’t want to be late to class.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he replied with a snappy salute before quickly pulling on his clothes and heading out to the main room.
I felt a twinge of sadness as I watched him walk through the door, but I took a deep breath and pushed it aside.
*****
On the ride back to the dorm, Brian rolled down the window and let the breeze blow through the SUV. He fiddled with the stereo for a while before turning it off and plunging the interior into silence. I looked out the passenger side window at the buildings flying by and wondered how I’d wound up here. I’d made some poor decisions, for certain, but somehow, it didn’t all add up.
“You know, Ava, what we did last night isn’t something to be ashamed of,” Brian’s voice cut through my silent thoughts.
“I know,” I replied.
“It’s totally normal for people who’ve been abused to transfer feelings from one situation to another,” he continued. “It’s perfectly understandable if you feel uncomfortable, but I promise you that I didn’t use you last night.”
“What are you talking about?” I snapped.