*****
A few hours later, we were sprawled across the couch watching a movie. I was barely paying attention to it because having Brian so near was incredibly distracting, and I kept turning Gina’s words over in my head. Does he like me? Or is this just another job? I looked over at him and realized that it had been ages since I’d had such a good time with, well, anyone. Brian was easy to be around and his sense of humor combined with his intelligence made him really good company; the personal protection part aside.
“You’re really a good man,” I said as I stared at the television.
“What?” he asked in a distracted tone. “Did you say something?”
“Yeah, I said that I think you’re a really good man.”
“What brought that on?” he questioned as he reached for the remote and turned the volume down.
“I don’t know, I was just thinking about stuff,” I said quietly. I wasn’t sure I wanted him to know anything about what I was thinking, but then, I wasn’t sure that I didn’t. “My whole dating life seems to have been a way of getting back at my parents for expecting me to be their perfect little daughter.”
“Well, you’re not alone in that endeavor, in case you’re fee
ling guilty,” Brian laughed.
“No, I’m serious,” I said as I looked up at him. “I’ve always picked guys who were jerks so that my father would pay attention, but he never did. He just waved me off like I was one of his employees. The only difference was that he’d always give me a credit card to ease the pain of being dismissed. Or at least that was my interpretation of it.”
“That sucks,” Brian replied. “My old man never gave me anything, but on the upside, I didn’t expect him to, so I guess we were even.”
“What is your father like?” I asked. I’d been looking for a way into Brian’s personal life, and here it was.
“Dunno,” he said. “I never met him. My mom said he was a good guy who was torn apart by the war and just couldn’t recover from it.”
“Your dad was a veteran?”
“Yeah, Vietnam,” he replied. “He was a door gunner, you know, the guys who sat by the door on the helicopters and fired at the enemy.”
“Whoa, that’s some job,” I was awed by this revelation, and wondered if that’s why Brian had entered the military. “Is that why you joined the Navy?”
“Nah, I did it because I couldn’t afford college and I didn’t want to work as a fry cook,” he admitted with a shrug. “My mom begged me not to do it, but I didn’t feel like I had many options, you know?”
I nodded, not knowing what to say because I didn’t know. I had no idea what it was like to feel like I had no options in life. My parents had provided me with every opportunity I had ever wanted, and then made the choice as to whether I would take it or not. Until I left Dominic, I’d really never had to make any difficult decisions, and the fact that it had taken me so long to make that decision was the result of it. I wiggled a little closer to Brian, and stared at his profile. He tried to ignore me as he pretended to watch the movie, but after a minute he turned and said, “What’s on your mind?”
“I don’t know, I just keep trying to picture you in the Navy,” I said, as a small smile played on my lips.
“Oh, please do,” he laughed. “It was all debutante balls and afternoon teas. Except with buzz cuts, no sleep, and totally torn up feet. That’s the glamour of the U.S. military!”
“Don’t mock me, Mr. Flynn!” I laughed as I threw a punch against his shoulder. “My life has been more than debutante balls and high tea!”
“Oh yes, I can definitely tell that it has been!” he laughed. “What with that powerhouse punch you throw there.”
“Are you saying I’m weak?” I was now pummeling his shoulder as I laughed harder and harder with every soft punch.
“Who? Me?” his wide-eyed disbelief put me over the edge. “Oh no, I’d never call you weak, Ms. Klein! Not with those powerhouse punches you’re throwing!”
“Oh my God!” I was laughing so hard there were tears running down the sides of my face. When he caught my wrists and held them for a moment, I straddled the line between laughter and panic as I struggled to pull away.
“Ava! Ava!” he called my name as he held my wrists and watched me struggle. “Hey! Stop, stop!”
“Let go of me!” I cried as I fought to free myself from his grasp.
“Ava, stop fighting,” he said quietly. His voice cut through the fear in my brain and, for a moment, I stopped trying to pull away. “There you go now. That’s it.”
“What are you doing?” I demanded.
“I was trying to show you that you need to learn how to protect yourself,” he offered. “The more you struggled, the easier it was for me to maintain my hold on you because you weren’t thinking about getting free, you were thinking about the struggle and the fear.”