Audra heard Dane make a scoffing sound and she cringed, laying her cheek against the cool surface of the wall. “I’m sure Luella will find a way to rescind that as long as I’m still married to who she perceives as the wrong girl.”
Luella’s words came back as sharp arrows to Audra’s heart.
“Townsends are expected to keep company with a certain . . . quality of people.”
The wrong girl.
“Dane may do as he pleases in private and behind closed doors, but in public, such . . . things will not be tolerated.”
The wrong girl.
I was the wrong girl for Dane and always would be.
Dane and Dalila were both quiet for a moment as Audra’s heart silently broke outside the partially opened office door. Finally, she heard Dalila say, “I don’t know, big bro, they say honesty is the best policy.”
Dane sighed. “Maybe. But, fuck, I needed some time to come to terms with it myself first. When Audra told me she was pregnant, everything, my whole damn future went up in smoke. That’s not something that’s easy to swallow. I haven’t worked out what to say.”
“My whole damn future went up in smoke.” Audra could barely breathe. She turned, stumbling toward their bedroom, her heart in her throat. Dane had let his entire future slip right through his fingers, and in that moment, she was angry that he hadn’t told her what marrying her forced him to give up, but mostly, she hated herself for the sacrifice he’d had to make. It wasn’t fair or right. He’d given up his whole life . . . for her. She placed her hand on her growing belly. For them.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Dane
Now . . .
The next morning was cold and rainy, gray clouds filling the sky. As I drove to Audra’s hotel to pick her up, my mind was still consumed with what happened the night before . . . the date, spending time with her, the roller coaster of emotions she inspired in me, and then the way I’d felt as she’d jogged across the street, back to her hotel room alone. Watching her walk away, into that shithole of a building, had done something to me. It had honestly felt like a punch in the gut. I’d felt angry, rattled . . . possessive. Slightly crazed if I was being totally honest with myself. She’d been my wife. And I was well aware that was no longer the case, and still, my heart yearned to protect her. Letting her walk into that building alone had felt wrong and I’d lost a little control.
The way she’d been standing against the wall inside as if she’d had to take a moment to collect herself too. As if she had been as affected by our time together as I had been, despite her earlier words to the contrary. And the look on her face, the moment I saw the stark relief in her eyes, a moment of joy that I’d come after her . . . it had undone me completely. I’d been like a madman, so eager to get inside her body, to claim her in some way—any way—I hadn’t stopped to consider
how she’d react afterward. That it would only make her that much more eager to part ways, to put more emotional and physical distance between us.
But didn’t I want that too? She’d divorced me, walked away. Even when I’d asked her to give it more time, she’d been completely resistant, cold and seemingly emotionless.
So why had I felt a painful tightening in my chest watching her walk away a second time? Yesterday, I’d thought I’d never see Audra again. And now, one night with her and I was questioning everything. Is that true, Dane? Or had I been questioning things for a while now . . . ever since Winnie and that damn ring I’d had no desire at all to slip on her finger?
So different from the eager buzz of joy that had consumed me when Audra had worn my ring. But I’d been a kid then, and over the years, I’d convinced myself that nothing would ever feel as strong, as all-consuming, as it had with Audra because she’d been my first love.
Ah God, but the way it’d felt to hold her again, to taste her soft lips, to feel the bliss of her tight inner muscles wrapped so snugly around me. I’d loved the sound of her small gasps and moans, my name falling from her lips, to see the way she blossomed—let go—when she was in the throes of passion. It was intense and beautiful and I fucking loved it.
Still.
And no doubt . . . always.
I let out a hiss through my teeth. It was too damned early for this.
I pulled up in front of Audra’s hotel, where she was already waiting outside under the small, torn awning. I jumped out, coming around the car and meeting her on the sidewalk. “Hey, I would have come inside to get you. You didn’t have to wait in the rain.”
She shook her head, glancing at me a little nervously, as if she hadn’t known what my mood would be when I arrived. “I wasn’t waiting long. And I preferred to get out of there into the fresh air.” She wrinkled her nose, obviously referring to the strange smell that hung in the air inside the hotel.
“I don’t blame you.” I smiled wryly as I picked up her suitcase and placed it in the trunk of my car next to my bag. I’d be staying in Colorado for a week where I knew it would be freezing, so I’d packed a suitcase full of my warmest clothes—thankfully I still had some. Northern California didn’t call for many winter items, but I had plenty of cold-weather gear for skiing.
I opened the passenger-side door for Audra who slid in, and then I went around the car and took the driver’s seat. She was wearing jeans, short boots and a thick sweater but she rubbed her hands together as if she was cold, so I turned up the heat a bit. “There’s coffee on the plane in case you haven’t had any yet.”
She nodded. “Great. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” So this was how it was going to be. We were back to polite strangers despite making love the night before. I got on the freeway, headed toward the small airport where my plane was hangared.
After a minute, she glanced at me. “So, um, I didn’t ask you how you earned your pilot’s license.”