“I was really hard on him. It’s not completely his fault with what happened before, with the drugs. The band and I are really all he has. Without the band, and with me always being busy with the record company and not there for him, all he had were the drugs. So in a way, with me not making time for him, I kind of caused it. I was so focused on my own damn shit that I couldn't even see my little brother's life spiraling out of control.”
“You can’t say that,” I said as I tried to comfort him, but he shook his head.
“He’s always looked up to me, ever since we were kids. It drove my parents nuts. I always wanted to be a musician, but they were completely against it. Even more so when Talon decided to follow in my footsteps and I got him a drum set. Because of that, we grew apart from our parents. I moved out, and Talon followed right after me that night,” he sighed, and for a moment I could swear his eyes grew a little misty.
“They were killed in a car wreck by a drunk driver the next day. So, like I said, I’m a big reason that Talon only has me. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in work, I forget that. The thing with our parents, the struggles with almost losing Talon to drugs, that’s a lot of where our songs come from. It’s the only way I know to get it all out, you know?”
He finally looked at me, and I could see the emotion brimming just beneath the surface. I nodded, knowing exactly where he was coming from. Mine and Jackson’s childhood had been no better, but I didn’t need to get into that with Owen. Not at that moment, anyway.
I gave him a gentle kiss on his cheek, feeling some comfort as a sweet smile spread across his face. At that moment, all I wanted was to give him comfort and make him feel better, and do what I could to ease some of his pain.
He squeezed me to him and kissed the top of my head. “I really like you, Nalia. You can’t know how much I mean that. I wish I had something to offer you, but I really don’t. I’ve got so many issues to deal with right now and with us being on tour, I know any sort of relationship is a bad idea. The groupies at each stop are going to be unruly. For that reason alone, I know dating is a bad idea.”
As much as the idea of girls throwing themselves at Owen did cause a little jealousy to stir up in me, I did understand. He didn’t want to start something with me during all of this. I got it. It was the rock star life, and one of the hazards of the job was relationships. It didn’t take a genius to see that. If anything, I appreciated him being honest and trying to put some distance between us.
As much as I enjoyed the sex between us, and even the cuddling and kisses at the moment, I knew he wasn’t promising me anything. If something happened on the road, I couldn’t be mad because he’d never given me any sort of indication we could be anything more than people who simply had a bit of no-strings-attached fun. Just like I’d never given him that idea, either.
“I get it,” I said. “I’m not holding you to anything. That has never been my intention, and it certainly isn't why I signed on for this job. I don’t have that to offer you, either, you know. Besides, from what Talon was telling me, things are going to get crazy on the road, and I’m not going to try and convince myself of anything otherwise. I’m here to do my job, first and foremost, regardless of what we are or aren’t,” I told him.
I leaned into him, kissing his neck and he let out a soft breath, combing his fingers through my hair. Still, if we could offer each other some comfort, I didn’t mind that, either. I understood how he could be lonely, even with groupies surrounding him and throwing themselves at him, and how it was hard to find someone else who truly understood that. Owen and I did understand loneliness; I knew that much. If nothing else, that was all we could offer each other right now and I was okay with that.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Owen
Light flickering through the window woke me the next morning, and I could see we were just getting into Seattle. I rubbed my eyes and looked down at the comforting weight lying against me and smiled. Nalia and I had fallen asleep talking and cuddling.
I never thought falling asleep on the bus could feel so refreshing, but I felt like I’d had a full night’s sleep lying there with her in my arms. Usually, I didn't sleep well on buses, even luxury tour buses like this one, but with her there, I'd somehow managed to get a great night's sleep in. I think I may have even had a few good dreams.
Gently, trying not to wake her, I brushed her hair back out of her face, studying her features as she slept. She was as stunning asleep as she was awake, her soft, even breaths reassuring and peaceful. And for a few quiet, sacred moments, I simply lay there next to her, admiring her, feeling at peace in her presence and basking in the warmth that flowed between us.
I found myself wondering how things would be if the situation were different, and realized that I definitely wouldn’t mind waking up to this every day. Hell, I probably wouldn’t even get out of bed if I woke up with her in my arms every day.
For now, though, I settled for letting her sleep in my arms. I watched the sights of Seattle rolling by as the city awoke, silently enjoying the peaceful moment and feeling quietly content with Nalia in my arms until we finally pulled up in front of our hotel.
“Nalia, wake up,” I coaxed gently, stroking her cheek. Her eyes fluttered open, and she put a hand on my chest, sitting herself up. She looked around, her eyes slightly worried, as if she was expecting the others to catch us. I smiled, not particularly caring about that myself. I was pretty sure that by now they had a good idea something was going on, anyway.
“We’re at the hotel,” I told her. “So I guess that means it's time to rise and shine, then go wake up and rally the troops. I sure hope the rest of them got as good a night's rest as I did. How about you, did you sleep well?”
“Like a baby,” she said. “I didn't think I'd be able to sleep this well on a bus, but it was as good as any hotel bed.” She smiled and smoothed her hair and clothing as she pulled herself to stand. I got up as well, helping her wake up the others. I woke up Jay and then Talon, and he gave me a sour look after he yawned and stretched. I jumped straight into an apology, though, not wanting any bitterness or resentment to simmer.
“Sorry about snapping last night, Tal. I’m just a bit stressed. I really didn’t mean to throw your shit out there like that. It was a dick move, and it was totally uncalled for.”
“Yeah. It was, dude. But whatever, I'm over it,” he said, shrugging it off as he wiped the sleep from his eyes. “We at the hotel?”
“Yeah. And, we'll have a few hours to chill if you want to rest up more before we start our long-ass day,” I told him, patting his shoulder.
He nodded, looking exhausted. “Might take you up on that offer.”
“What time did you two get to sleep, anyway?”
“Late enough to see you and Nalia curled up together,” he replied as he flashed me a sleepy grin. “That’s the real reason why you were pissy with me last night, wasn’t it? Come on, dude. I know you better than that. Don't try pull the wool over my eyes with this 'I'm feeling so stressed out' crap. Just admit it, man!”
This time it was me who had to shrug. What could I say? He had caught me red-handed with my hand in the figurative cookie jar.
“You two have had sex already, too, haven't you? And don't lie about it, man! You get this look in your eyes and this little twitch on the left side of your face when you lie — I've known that since we were little! So, tell me, what happened to the whole ‘nobody bangs the assistant’ pact, hmm?” He laughed, his signature shit-eating grin glowing on his face now, despite his exhaustion.
My neck grew a little hot. “All right, all right, yeah. I like her. A lot. Probably more than I should. Maybe if we weren’t doing all the touring and everything, there would be something more there, but, yeah. Now just keep your mouth shut about it, please? Got it?” I shot him a look.