"So, what are you proposing?" I asked. "You want me to sign things over to you and walk away? You just want to take control and run it?"
"No, I want you to come out of hiding!" Leo pleaded. "Jesus Christ, Cam! It's been ten years! It's time to move on with your life! This whole secrecy thing is part of what's keeping you trapped in a life that belongs in the past."
"Oh, I see; you want me to let go so you can run the business," I said eyeing him suspiciously. "It's convenient for you, isn't it? You tell me to let go so you can get what you want. Brilliant."
"Fuck off, Connor," Leo said. "I'm not telling you anything you don't already know."
"Nice, you kiss your mother with that mouth?" I shot back.
"Cam, listen to me," Leo said dropping his voice and pleading with me. "You have to let go, man. She's gone and she's never coming back. It doesn't mean that you have to live in limbo. Let go. Start over and live your life. Quinn would be heartbroken if she knew that you had shut yourself off like this for so long."
I looked at Leo for a long time as I felt the emotions I'd held back begin to rise to the surface. He'd tapped a place in me that I'd let scar over -- or at least I thought I had. Now the scar was being sliced open and the pain of it felt like it might be more than I could bear.
"I don't know how to do this, Leo," I said as I dropped into a chair and held my head in my hands. "I don't know how to let go."
Leo walked around the desk and clasped my shoulder without saying a word. He stood there as I fought to maintain control and when I'd finally found a way to cut through the pain on my own, he stood up and walked back to his desk.
"We need to do this, Cam," he said. "I don't think you understand the consequences of not doing this."
"And what are those, exactly?" I asked knowing that he was going to make another attempt at persuading me.
"We're going to go bankrupt if we don't land Metzler's business," Leo said quietly. "I've been trying to figure out a way to make it all work, but the reality is that without Metzler, we can't keep going."
"How did that happen?" I said feeling the panic rising. "How did this become so perilous?"
"I don't want to go into the details right now, but our output is greater than our income," he said. "It has been for a while now, and we're riding the line."
"Dammit, Leo! I trusted you to run this business and tell me when we were in trouble!" I shouted. Now I was angry. Leo hadn't been telling me what was going on, and more importantly, I hadn't been paying attention.
"I've tried, but you're always in and out so quickly and you never want to talk about the nuts and bolts of what it takes to run this business!" he shouted back. "You go play fireman and do what you love doing and leave me to take care of all the work!"
"That's totally unfair," I protested. "I've done more than my fair share of the work around here."
"Yeah, as long as it doesn't involve you having to do anything that forces you to interact with people," he countered. "Cam, you put the money up and that was definitely a big deal, but for the last five years, I've done all the legwork to keep this company running while you've been a silent partner. I can't do this anymore. You need to come out of the shadows and start actually being part of th
e business or you need to find someone else to do the work. I can't."
"Leo..." I began as he waved me off.
"Don't, Cam. Just don't," he said dropping heavily into his chair and running his hand through his hair. "I'm tired. I need a partner. A real partner, not just a guy who drops in occasionally and asks how we're doing."
"I get it," I said as I looked at my friend. Leo had aged considerably over the past few years and for the first time, I could see the toll that the stress of running CSC had taken on him. "Let me think about it?"
"You have until Monday," he said. "After that, I'm either going to say yes to Metzler or submit my letter of resignation. It's entirely your call, Cam."
"Duly noted," I nodded as I got up and walked to the door. I turned and looked at Leo, and added, "Leo, I'm sorry."
"Save it, Cam," he said shaking his head. "Just figure out what we're going to do and figure it out fast."
I nodded and walked out of the office wondering how I was going to make this decision.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Alex
When I woke up and found Cam's note on my pillow, at first I was hurt that he'd left without waking me up, but as I stood in the shower and felt the hot water flowing down over my body, I tried to see it in a positive light. He'd said he'd call, and so far he'd been a man of his word. I'd just have to trust that.
After a shower and two cups of coffee, I called Liz to check up on her. She didn't answer her phone, but since she normally didn't answer before nine in the morning, I didn't worry. I texted her and told her that I'd meet her at the train and then got ready for class. By the time I was ready to head out the door, Liz had texted, "Cya at the train!"