I went without having any idea of what to expect, trying to calm the nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. What’s the worst that could happen? He had, after all, just made the effort to show me that he was capable of making some changes. But did he really have to call Rick here and make a whole scene of it? No matter how excited I was, I couldn’t help my temper.
“Why did you call him here?” I snapped as soon as I walked into his office.
He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Wasn’t it obvious? I gave him the permission to talk to you!”
“Who do you think you are, god? You can just swing people around like puppets and tell them what they can or can’t do? If you were trying to make the point that you are not going to be controlling anymore, the best way to do it would not have been by controlling another human being and giving them ‘permission,’ as though you owned the rights to their life.”
Upon hearing that his eyes got red with what seemed to be anger. “What the fuck do you even want from me, Aria? I just ended a very long and complicated relationship with my ex-wife, something for which I will have to face more consequences than you can imagine. And I let that guy talk to you. Why isn’t any of this shit enough?”
“Oh, the sad consequences of not having a beautiful blonde woman as a trophy wife. I feel your pain,” I said and immediately regretted it. I was being bitchy for no reason, while he was making the effort. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean–”
“You have no idea what I will have to endure for ending that relationship.”
“Tell me then. Give me an idea,” I spoke more softly. “What was the whole deal behind you and your wife?”
“My mother thinks that Gina is an angel who descended from heaven. She almost tried to kill herself because of our divorce, and I have been forced to try couple’s counseling ever since. She then invited her to come live in my home, making more threats about taking her own life. I didn’t have a choice in any of this, but I don’t expect you to understand. You have already made up your mind that I am a lying scumbag–”
“I don’t think you’re a scumbag!” I exclaimed, cutting him off. “I did think you were lying to me. I had no idea… about your mom… you never talked about her.”
“Well, she isn’t exactly my favorite topic of conversation.”
“I am sorry, Zayden,” I said his name properly for the first time in a while and the effect on him was visible. His tense face lightened up considerably, and his muscles relaxed. “If I had known about your mother, I wouldn’t have been so harsh… you have to understand what it looked like to me… like you had been lying all along.”
“You didn’t think to give me the benefit of the doubt even for a second, did you? Even though I had never lied to you. Hell, I had convinced myself somehow that you thought I was a half-way decent human being, which was a refreshing change.” He started to look angry again, as though the full implications of my reaction were finally starting to sink in.
“I do think that you are a decent human being,” I said in a desperate attempt to smooth out the situation. “But you have to look at it from my perspective too. Mrs. Brian told me that no matter who you were screwing around with, your wife always came back in the end. Like there was some sort of a repeating pattern and she said you two were meant to be and any girl who thought you would put her before your wife was deluded!”
“So you would rather listen to a crazy old bitch than trust me or hear me out?” He was clutching the hem of his shirt tightly; it made me afraid. His temper was clearly rising.
“It’s not like that. I am sorry about what your mother has been putting you through,” I said genuinely.
“So you believe me, then?” He met my eyes in surprise.
“Of course!” I said at once. “Why wouldn’t I?”
He shrugged. “You didn’t believe me when I said there was nothing between Gina and I, so why would you believe this?”
“Because I know you better than to think you would make up some story about your mother trying to kill herself just to get in my pants.”
“That’s reassuring,” he said sarcastically. “You can get back to work.”
“But–”
“Go!” he shouted, pointing at the door.
With that I was dismissed as he jumped back into handling whatever paperwork was in front of him. I walked back to my desk feeling confused with a million questions in my mind. So where did we stand? He had ended it with his wife for me, despite it risking his relationship with his mother. But he hadn’t mentioned anything about our contract or where we stood in regards to that…
I wanted to ask him, but he seemed to be in a foul mood and I didn’t want to upset him even further. Nervous about my mother’s hospital bills, I decided I would wait a couple of days and then bring up the issue with him. I just hoped that I hadn’t caused problems between Zayden and his mother. What if she got so upset that she tried to kill herself again? The thought of that sent a shudder down my spine. I would never be able to forgive myself for causing that. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea for him to have ended things with his wife. Since I couldn’t get myself to go back in there and tell him that, I wrote him an email.
Zayden,
I don’t know where we stand in terms of our contract right now, and I don’t need to know for now. I did, however, want to apologize for not giving you a chance to explain it about your mom before. It must be hard for you to deal with this situation. The last thing I would want in the world is to cause your mother to be upset and do something that hurts you, just because I couldn’t handle the fact that you were married. Please don’t rush to end things with your wife – I believe that you are not sexually involved with her because I trust you – but perhaps you should take more time to sort things out with your mom before ending it so suddenly. I promise I won’t let it affect our contract, regardless of what happens to it.
Aria
P.S. I really do think you are a decent person, a little more controlling than you need to be, but better than most men I know.
I waited until it was time for me to leave before hitting send so that I wouldn’t have to watch him read it.