***
“I can't believe you kissed someone who's been featured in Forbes!” Meg exclaimed. “And he's a bona fide billionaire, for real?”
“That he is.”
“Holy hell. Well, that's not something you do every day, now is it?”
“No. I suppose it isn’t. But you know, I can't help but wonder about this whole thing. It’s throwing me for a loop.”
“Lilah, you tend to over-analyze things. I think you should just try to turn your brain off for a few weeks and just go with the flow. Do you know how many women would kill to be in your shoes right now? And I'm talking kill with their bare hands, batter someone into pulpy mush with bare knuckles kinda dead.”
“Meg! Ew!” I scrunched my nose at the mental image.
“I’m just trying to make a point. Seriously, Lilah. Just let this guy fly you around the world in his private jet, drive you around in his sports cars, let him wine and dine you in five star hotels—and for heaven’s sake hav
e some amazing sex with a smoking hot guy, which he totally is from the sound of your description. Then, if he turns out to be a jerk, well . . . Hey, at least you had the kind of experiences that only a tiny handful of people in this world actually get.”
“I know. I know—but it's really not that simple or easy. I mean, for one thing, he's not only my boss, he's the owner and CEO of one of the most powerful and prestigious public relations firms in the country.
“I have a real shot at making a name for myself if I can stick with this firm for a few years and build a reputation. I want to be featured in Forbes one day, too, Meg—and not simply because I'm the arm candy of some big shot company owner. I want to get to the top of my own accord, with my own talent, and from my own hard work. Not because I'm the CEO's . . . I don't know . . . girlfriend, play thing, whatever.”
Meg took a sip of her sake and nodded, her expression becoming a bit more serious.
“I understand, Lilah, I really do. You know I was just joking . . . to an extent. I know you're not just some bimbo, and that you wouldn't sell your principles out for the sake of a few thrills and a little bit of fun—even if those thrills and fun were really, truly, Hollywood-style amazingness.”
I rolled my eyes and laughed. “Come on now, Meg, I thought you were actually going to get serious.”
“I am, I am. Ignore the last comment. But, and now I am being serious, don't shut out all possibilities of being with this man. Because maybe, just maybe, there's more to him than the billionaire playboy persona you’re imagining. Stop and think about it—he keeps such a low profile and there's practically no gossip about him anywhere online. Plus, it sounds like he's really into health and self-discipline. Those are all good qualities in a man. It’s possible he isn’t what your wild little imagination is conjuring up.”
“I know, but . . . I can’t help thinking about Jacob, you know.”
Meg cocked her head to the side and folded her arms across her chest. “It's been three years since that jerk did what he did to you, Lilah. At some point, you’re going to have to let it go.”
“That’s easy for you to say. You weren’t the one who’s fiancé abandoned you a month before your wedding.”
“Aww, Lilah, I didn't mean to be insensitive. I know how much he hurt you, and I know pain like that takes more than just a little time to heal. But you can't let the actions of one man ruin the rest of them for you. There are some amazing guys out there—not all of them are like Jacob.”
I sighed before responding. “Maybe not, but Jacob had most of those qualities, too. Besides, it's not just about the pain and the need to protect myself. I mean, yes, there is that, but there's also the fact that . . . Well, I kind of enjoy being single.
“You know how it was when I was growing up. Dad was always out, I never had a mom, Eddie was gone half the time, and my other brothers either ignored me completely or pushed me around. I learned to be independent and stand up for myself at a fairly early age, and after surrendering that independence to another person—which is what happened when Jacob and I got engaged—I felt as if I'd lost a very important part of who I was.
“As much as it hurt when Jacob left me, on another level, it was actually a good thing because it gave me the chance to get that independence back. And while it was a terrible struggle to get through all of the hurt, it also forced me to get reacquainted with myself, to really develop and hone the strength I've always had inside me. It made me tap into the power to not just exist, but to thrive entirely on my own. And the thought of surrendering that to be with a man again is kind of, well, I don’t think I can do it. It almost makes me angry, in a way. I'm not so sure I could give up that part of me—even if Asher turns out to be some amazing guy.”
Meg chewed thoughtfully on a piece of sushi as she considered everything I'd just said. After taking a drink of her sake, she replied. “Did it cross your mind that maybe that's what he sees in you, and maybe that's what he's finding so attractive about you?
“I'm guessing the kind of women this guy is used to dealing with are models, bimbos, and other such types. All looks—jaw-droppingly gorgeous, most likely—but no substance whatsoever. Any intelligent man with any kind of integrity will get tired of those types eventually.
“And so, along you come, and you've not only got smokin' hot looks, but you're smart as hell, fiercely independent, and intensely motivated too. A guy like him, well . . . I'm guessing a girl like you is everything he's secretly dreamed about finding in a woman. How old did you say he was again?”
“He's 32.”
“Ah. Young enough to still be after fun and good times, but also old enough to want to start getting serious and thinking about settling down. If I were you, I'd give him a chance.”
“But my career, Meg. I have to think about what this would mean to my career. It's honestly the most important thing in the world to me aside from my family, and if anything went wrong and I lost my position in The Sinclair Agency—that would be career suicide and I don't know what I would do.”
“Yes, careers are important, Lilah, they are. But to make your career the end all be all of your entire existence while shutting everything else out . . . do you think that's healthy? Do you think that's a wise decision? There's a whole lot of life out there to be lived and experienced, and if you get too obsessed with one thing you might end up missing out on a lot of it. Think about it.”
I nodded as I finished off a slice of sushi. “I'll think about it, Meg, I will definitely think about it.”