Biker's Virgin
Page 49
I felt my fists clench in anger, and there was nothing more I wanted at this moment than to wrap my hands around Walter Black’s throat and choke the life out of him. I kept my expression calm however and tried to stay in the moment with Mila.
“Can I ask you a question?” I asked, not wanting to push her.
“You want to know why I’m still a virgin at twenty-three?”
“Well… yeah.”
Mila looked down for a second, and I saw from the way she wrung her hands together that she didn’t love explaining this part.
“You don’t have to tell me—”
“No, I want to,” she said. “My mother… had a lot of boyfriends. When I was fourteen there was one in particular. His name was Mike.”
“Did he touch you?” I demanded, feeling new rage rush through me.
“He tried to,” she nodded. “I woke up one night, and he was in bed with me. He had one hand on my breast and the other hand down my pajama pants.”
“Fuck,” I said, realizing how triggering that must have been for her.
“I screamed and pushed him away from me… my mother ran in, and they had a huge fight, and she ultimately kicked him out. He didn’t get the chance to rape me or anything… but it was my first experience with sex, and I suppose it… it turned me off. I promised myself that when I had sex it would be with someone I felt safe with.”
I nodded. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
Mila shrugged. “I’ve lived so much of my life being scared… mostly of men. Maybe that’s why I gravitated towards strong men who I assumed would protect me. But the fact is I need to stop relying on men and start relying on myself. I need to be my own savior. With your training, I might just be on my way.”
“You’ve come a long way.”
“Thanks to you,” Mila pointed out.
I shook my head. “I couldn’t have taught you anything if you weren’t willing to learn. It’s all you, Mila… it’s all you.”
I saw her smile as she looked out into the great wide vastness of the field. “This has been a wonderful night,” she said softly, as though she were talking to herself.
I looked up at the stars and nodded in agreement.
Chapter Sixteen
Mila
I had spent the whole day training with Zack and then later Bones and Lonny. I was exhausted and hungry, and I hadn’t even bothered to shower or change before heading straight to the kitchen to make myself something to eat.
I found a packet of instant noodles in the cupboard, and I decided to fry up some sausages to go with it. My mind kept drifting as I recalled last night’s dinner with Zack. I had come home in a fever of happiness, and I had dreamt the most beautiful dreams the whole of last night. It had even been difficult to get into the headspace of training because my mind had been stuck in the clouds half the time.
It had felt like a date, but nothing had really happened between us. Zack hadn’t even attempted to kiss me—not once. We had come back home, and he had said goodnight to me before we had both gone to our separate rooms. Maybe I had read too much into his gesture of taking me out. Maybe he just felt sorry that I was cooped up in the clubhouse all the time. It was for the best really, but a part of me also felt slightly disappointed.
Still, we had shared a lot with each other last night. He had admitted the truth to me about his father and their falling out, a truth that apparently, I was the only one who knew. And I had finally come clean about my virginity and the reason why Walter had flipped out on me that night. We had occupied a comfortable and trusting space at that moment, and
I wondered if it would hold in the light of day. Some magical moments were broken when you returned to normalcy and routine, and for a second, I was afraid.
But then I’d walked into the training arena this morning, and Zack had given me a small smile that suggested he had been thinking about last night too. We hadn’t spoken about it, but we also hadn’t been alone together the whole day. Nothing had really changed between us; maybe it was a feeling more than anything else.
I got the sausages out of the freezer, and I set them in a bowl of hot water so that they would defrost faster. Once that was done, my noodles were boiled nicely and ready to be thrown together with the sachet mix that gave it its flavor. I was just about to pull the sausages from their hot bath when I felt a shadow creep up on me. I hadn’t heard anyone, but I knew instinctively that someone was behind me and that someone didn’t want to be heard or seen.
My first thought was how on earth had Walter gotten into the clubhouse. I had thought this was a safe haven and he wouldn’t be stupid enough to enter the Angels’ territory. But then again, I had no idea what he was capable of. All this sped through my head in two seconds flat, before I felt large arms engulf me, binding my arms to my side.
A few months ago, I would have panicked, and my best defense would have been to scream as loud as I could and hope to God that someone would hear me. But my instincts jumped to survival mode, and I told myself to stay calm and do what Zack had trained me to do.
I pushed against the kitchen cabinets with my legs, forcing the man who had grabbed me to back into the opposite wall. I had a thud as his body slammed against the wall. The impact made him loosen his grip on me, and I took advantage of the moment and elbowed him hard in the stomach. I heard a grunt that sounded slightly familiar, but I didn’t pause to figure it out. I balled my hand into a fist and sent a backhanded punch straight for my attacker’s face.