Mom raised her eyebrows. “You were working on something for school?”
“Yes.”
“Oh…”
“You got a smart kid,” the man said.
“I don’t know where she gets it from,” she said. “Honey… you need to spend less time studying and more time making friends. You’ll be a woman in a few years, and you’re not going to be able to attract a man.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that,” the man said. “With a mother like you, she’s bound to turn out all right.”
It was almost a nice compliment, except the smile that accompanied it made my stomach turn again.
“Well, get something from the fridge then,” Mom said dismissively. “I’m going to show my friend around the house.”
By that, of course, she meant she was going to show him her room. She grabbed his hand and dragged him away, and I was left alone in the kitchen. I went to the fridge and got out the cold mashed potatoes we’d had for lunch the previous day, but I realized that I’d completely lost my appetite all of a sudden.
The next morning when I walked into the living room with my science project in tow, the man was sitting on the couch with a towel wrapped around his waist and his legs resting on the coffee table.
“Hello there,” he greeted.
I didn’t reply.
“Where are you off to?” he asked.
I paused for a moment. “School,” I said.
“Oh, right… what’s today?”
“Friday.”
“Right,” he nodded. “Right. Your mother’s sleeping.”
I didn’t reply.
“You look a lot like her, you know,” he said. “Say, how old are you?”
I didn’t want to answer, but I felt like I had to. “Ten,” I replied.
“Ten, huh…. that’s young.” Then he smiled at me. “Come here for a second, and let me look at your project.”
He was staring at me intently, and though the last thing I wanted was to be anywhere near him, I found myself walking towards him with the project I’d spent all night making. He didn’t even look at it though. His eyes were fixed on my face. He reached out and touched my cheek, and I wanted to scream.
“You’re pretty,” he said.
I didn’t say a word. I just turned around and walked out of the house and towards the bus stop that would take me to school. From that day onwards, his eyes had followed me through his entire relationship with my mother. And from that moment on, I had a deeply ingrained fear of men. In some ways, it had crippled my life and forced me into bad decisions. It had skewed my perception of men and made me choose ones that appeared strong but were weak in nature.
I could see all my mistakes take shape in front of me, and it hurt to realize that I could have easily prevented all this if I’d had the strength and the courage to demand better for myself. Be stronger, fight harder, and be braver.
I was repeating this refrain to myself when I heard slow footsteps outside my door. I held my breath and waited, wondering if Walter would walk into the room, but when the door opened, the man who walked in was someone I didn’t recognize. He was an older man with a slight hunch. He was almost comically cartoonish. His eyes were gray and seedy, and he had a hooked nose that nearly touched his mouth.
He walked in slowly with a tray of food and a glass of water. He set it down on the bedside table that faced the door and pushed it towards me.
“You should eat,” he said in a reedy voice that was not unkind.
“How am I supposed to eat?” I demanded. “I’m handcuffed to the bedpost.”
He dug into his pocket and produced a small key. “Are you left handed or right handed?”