“Just like that,” he nodded. “Luckily, I started working for you almost immediately after and never slowed down long enough to feel sad about it. By the time I gave myself a little room to slow down and resurface for air, a few years had passed, and it didn’t hurt quite so bad.”
“You buried yourself in work to escape the pain of your personal life?”
“Yes,” he nodded. “Which is why you’ve always surprised me.”
“Why?”
“Because you’ve sacrificed your life without ever really experiencing it in the first place,” Ben explained. “You’ve never had a real relationship or a steady girlfriend. How will you ever know if you can commit if you’ve never tried?”
“I know myself,” I replied.
Ben smiled and shook his head at me. “I’ve spent more time with you over the last few years than anyone else, Tristan. And trust me when I tell you, you don’t know yourself as well as you think you do.”
Chapter Eighteen
Molly
I was staring out at my spectacular view, but I couldn’t concentrate on anything other than what had happened between Tristan and me last night. It wasn’t last night that was bothering me, though. It was the fact that he had snuck out this morning without so much as a goodbye.
I turned around and walked back into the living room. I had wanted to go for a swim this morning, but I couldn’t seem to face the idea of planning anything at the moment. I went to my own personal walk-in closet and swapped out the slip nightie that I had put on for a pair of jeans and a simple long-sleeved t-shirt. I went back into the room and was hit with a torrent of memories from the night before.
For me, it had been a perfect first time. It had been everything to me, and my joy was now clouded over by Tristan’s disappearance this morning. Somehow, when we had been in the throes of lovemaking, I had convinced myself that he felt as strongly as I did. I had felt certain that he had simply been fighting this attraction for years, just like I had.
It had all made sense last night. It had all seemed simple.
In reality, I had no idea where Tristan stood. Was he going to address what had happened between us, or was he just going to pretend that nothing had happened?
I flashed back to six years ago. It had been the night after the kiss, and I had waited expectantly the next morning to see Tristan. But he hadn’t even acknowledged it. He had given me a cursory smile and then looked through me for the rest of the morning until he had left with Jason. I didn’t see him for six years after that.
I was determined not to let that happen again. I wanted to talk about it this time. I wanted to know where he stood, even if it wasn’t what I wanted to hear from him. I left my room, but realized when I was in the lobby that I had no idea where to go to find Tristan. I wasn’t even sure which suite was his. I changed direction and headed for the lounge where I knew Alani was on duty.
She was talking to a few guests, so I hung back until she had spotted me. When she was free, she walked over with a smile. “Hello, there,” she greeted. “Do you have something you need to tell me?”
I frowned. “Um… What?”
“Last night,” she said, wagging her eyebrows at me.
“I don’t—”
“Don’t act coy,” she said impatiently. “I saw Tristan follow you out of the party.”
“Oh,” I said. “That.”
Her face fell immediately. “Did nothing happen between you then? I was so sure that things were going well last night. Tristan looked mesmerized by you. He couldn’t take his eyes off you.”
“Apparently, sex does a good job of taking a man’s focus away from you after the fact,” I said bitterly.
Alani looked at me in surprise. “You slept together.”
“Twice,” I said. “But this morning I woke up, and he was gone.”
“Oh…”
“Do you know where he might be?” I asked. “I need to talk to him.”
Alani looked doubtful, but I wasn’t about to back down now. I wasn’t going to let Tristan ignore me like he had the first time. We were going to talk about what had happened, and I was going to get closure, one way or the other.
“Um… I know he has meetings all morning,” she said. “Things have been a little stressful. We’re opening to the public on Christmas day and apparently, a few of the staff have been let go.”