"He only did it because he thought what he was doing was right. It wasn't the right decision to make, but he was thinking of you when he did."
"That doesn't change that he did it, Tiff. He devastated me when he dumped me. He made a decision for me, instead of talking to me about it first. He didn't even respect me enough to treat me like his decision was going to affect me, too," I said. Tiffany sighed, looking defeated.
"He asked me whether you were happy the first night that he got back. He wanted to know how you were. He said he still cared about you, despite what happened."
"And, I do, too," I admitted, "but that isn't enough to change what he decided to do. He still left, and I can't pretend it wasn't the worst thing he could have done to me."
"I'm sorry. I thought I was... It doesn't matter what I thought I was doing, it was still wrong."
"I get it. You're not the only one who's thought about the two of us getting back together," I said sadly.
"Then why don't you give it a shot?"
"Because it's more complicated than that. He left knowing what it would do to me, and he did it anyway. He hurt me on purpose – I don't know that I can let that go." She sighed again, coming forward to hug me.
"I understand. I won't get in the way," she said, letting me go.
"I know you were just trying to help. I just don't think this one can be fixed." She looked a little sad about it. I knew how she felt about the relationship her brother and I had had, but he had changed something when he did what he did. He let me know that we weren't in it together. He could make decisions about things that would affect us both, and he would rather get rid of me than talk to me about stuff.
That was the real problem. That was the thing that would have gotten in between us sooner or later, even if we had stayed together. I suddenly felt resentful. Not towards Tiff, but towards Roman for coming back. For what he said last night about it being a date and trying to defend himself when I called him out. I had been doing great; why did he have to come back and confuse the hell out of me now?
That old feeling came back. I wanted him gone again. You know what? No, he could stay, I wanted out.
She hung out for a while, and we ended up going out to eat. When I got back to the apartment, I went online and signed up for summer courses. If I could graduate early, I would; then I'd get out of here. I'd never even look back.
Chapter Eleven
Roman
I didn't know what Tiff had against this place; it was growing on me. I was out on the patio, having coffee. The yard wasn't big, but if I wanted to put, I don't know, a dog out there, I could. I wasn't going to. It was just good having this much space to play with if I wanted. Last time I'd lived in a place with a yard was when I was still at home. I was still getting used to not having anyone need me to do anything. I wasn't sure about all this free time, what to do with it.
I had hit the gym earlier, but I didn't have anything else lined up for today. This was something I hadn't been anticipating. I felt a little restless, hoping this wouldn't last. But on the other hand, I felt like I should do something with my time off before I got started with football again or worse, had to go back overseas.
If things were different, it would have been obvious who I would be spending my free time with – but they weren't. I went back inside and drained my cup before washing it out. What was Don doing these days, I thought suddenly.
It had been a long time...had to be close to two years now. What was the use in being back if I couldn't catch up with the people I had left behind? I thought. Honestly, though, besides Ron, he was the person I was closest to who wasn't in my family. He didn't always have advice – not the good kind – but he always listened and sometimes that was all you needed.
I headed out half an hour later. Don lived on his parents' ranch on the edge of town, less than a half hour drive, but it seemed a lot further than it was but that was because properties were bigger. There was more space between neighbors. Fewer cars, narrower roads, fewer people. The seclusion would probably drive me crazy. It was pretty impressive though; almost six acres of rolling prairie. There was a drive before I got to his parents’ farmhouse where I parked. I finally saw him in one of the fields, not far from the house.
He had his shirt off. He was standing behind the tractor, which sounded like it was running. He was lugging these big bales of hay onto the cart attached to the back of the tractor, and it looked like hard work. I didn't know how heavy the average hay bale was, but last I checked, Don didn't go to the gym, and this was why. He didn't have to. He glanced my way, rubbing his arm across his forehead, then looked again.
"Roman?" He ripped his gloves off his hands. "Rome? Is that you?" he asked, as I came up to him.
"Don't let me stop you," I said.
"Are you kidding? Get the fuck over here," he said, grinning. He hugged me, slapping my back. His hair had been long the last time I saw him, but it was buzzed short now, shorter than mine, and I was the one who had been in the military.
"When the hell did you get back?"
"Last weekend. Watch out,” I said, as the tractor started moving.
"Why the hell did it take you so long to tell me you were back?"
"I was busy. Looks like you were, too."
"Shit," he said, watching the tractor pull away from us. "Whatever, he'll be back. How have you been?"
"Can't complain. I didn't know you were still working here."