Biker's Virgin

I stood up along with everyone else. The church was so full that for several minutes, I couldn’t see over the top of other heads to get a glimpse. I held my breath, just knowing in my heart that it couldn’t possibly be him, but oh my! Was I ever wrong!

For the first time in my life, a cuss word escaped my mouth in church as the man who I’d had a drunken one-night stand with passed by my pew dressed in his black cassock and white collar. I’ve committed a mortal sin.

I could feel the sweat beginning to form itself under my arms and around my neck. My face was on fire. My stomach was churning. I didn't know what to do. Should I leave?

I was in such a panic mode that I didn’t realize at first that everyone was sitting now and I was still standing up. I sat down quickly and knew that if I got up and left now, it would draw more attention to me than if I just stuck it out. I sunk down in the pew and cursed the fact that I picked a seat so close to the altar. I usually had nothing to hide…but oh, I certainly did now — so much.

Maybe I should still leave. Maybe I should find another church and confess to another priest what I’ve done. I could feel the bile rising up in the back of my throat. It burned hot like acid, and I was aching to at least get up and rid my stomach of its contents. I couldn't risk it, though. Any motion might have caused me to lose control and that would make a scene. If I made a scene…then what?

I glanced around me. There were a lot of people there. Maybe he wouldn't notice me; he’d been speaking for close to 10 minutes already and I hadn't processed a word that he had said. How can he stand up there and recite mass, knowing what he’s done? If I could ask him one question, that would be it.

I wondered what he would say, or do, if I stayed after mass and tried to talk to him. He was obviously worried that I

was going to tell someone. His question in the confessional convinced me of that. Could I bring myself to face him, though?

In my defense, he wasn’t wearing his collar when I met him in the bar. I had no idea that he was a priest. But he knew…so did that make his sin greater? Of course, it does. He took vows. He not only broke that sacrament, but he allowed me to commit a grievous sin without any warning. I was not sure what God was thinking about it, but in my head, “Father” Jace had a lot more to answer for than I did.

I shuddered at the thought of how he’d just thrown away his purity that night and wondered if he’d done it before. He sure seemed to know what he was doing.

I took a chance and glanced up towards the altar. He was blessing the Eucharist and not looking at me. Will the body and blood of Christ still be as holy after being blessed by a fallen priest?

I stared at his handsome face and wondered, if he was so willing to throw away his relationship with God by having illicit, drunken sex, what else might he be willing to do? What might he be willing to do in order to keep it a secret? I shivered again and then immediately chastised myself for those impure thoughts. Sex is a far stretch from murder.

I stuck out the mass until it was time to receive the Eucharist. The church was a large one so there were three lines. Father Jace was giving his out on the far right. I chose the line on the far left. After I received my communion, I stepped to the side, crossed myself and knelt quickly with a word of thanks to God our Savior; then, I slipped out the side door. I could finally breathe.

Chapter Fourteen

Jace

I stood in the greeting line after mass was over and said hello to the people I’d already met and met quite a few people that I hadn’t seen before. I finished talking with a young couple that had just moved to the area and were looking to start a Bible study when I was surprised to see a familiar face.

“Hi, Jace.” Lily had been my girlfriend right out of high school for two years. She was as beautiful as ever. She had long, wild, dark hair and light blue eyes that seemed to look right through you sometimes. I had been in love with her, desperately so, once upon a time.

I took her hand and smiled back. “Lily, it’s so good to see you. Do you live here now?”

“Yes, I work here in town. I’d heard that you became a priest. Congratulations. I hope you’re happy.” I was. I was filled with more joy than I ever knew…right up until Grandmother died and it all fell apart. I forced a brighter smile and said, “I’m very happy, Lily. Thank you. How about you? Are you married? Any children?” She’d always wanted a big family. We talked about getting married, but we hadn’t made it official yet before she broke up with me. I wouldn’t have sex with her. I wanted to wait, and I was already considering the priesthood…or at the very least, becoming a Eucharistic minister.

She had told me she needed passion in her life. We went our separate ways, and I went on to the seminary. She was my last relationship before I became a priest and entered my relationship with God. The irony is that if I’d slept with her back then, it would have been much less of a sin than the one I’d committed a couple of weeks ago.

“I’m not married. I was engaged for a few years, but it didn’t work out. I’d love to have coffee sometime and catch up if you’re able?”

“I’d like that,” I told her honestly. It would be nice to share an afternoon talking with an old friend.

“Great,” she said, taking out a little card that had the name of a hair salon on it with Lily’s name underneath. “My cell number is on that. Give me a call when you have some time.”

“I will, Lily. It was so nice to see you.”

“You, too,” she said, flashing that pretty dimple again.

Chapter Fifteen

Daphne

Monday morning, I got a call from the restaurant. It was my boss Ken. “Hey, Daphne, I’m sorry to do this to you, but there was a mix up on the schedule and we’re a little overstaffed. Do you mind having the day off since you’re scheduled for the rest of the week?”

“No, of course not,” I told him. I was a little disappointed because I did need the money — and I was already dressed and ready to go — but I could readily think of at least one thing I needed to do. “Thanks for letting me know before I got there. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Daphne.” I liked Ken. I was learning a lot from him, and although I hoped someday to go back to school and become a nurse, it’s all good life experience.