Cowboy Baby Daddy

Yes. I needed to get a grip. My daughter deserved better than a woman who couldn’t get over a one-night stand from years before.

“Let’s go home, sweetie.” I started the car.

Chapter 10

Alex

As I headed back to Carl’s ranch in his truck, my mind was racing faster than me down the bumpy country road. How had everything ended up so complicated so quickly? Livingston was supposed to be the place I would find a simpler way to live.

I’d just gone to town hall to pick up a few forms, but Joe had mentioned me coming over to his place for dinner sometime. I mumbled something about giving him a call, but I wasn’t sure. I was still barely comfortable around Carl, and he’d given me a job and a place to live.

The whole thing was kind of weird. I mean, I could tell Joe was trying to be nice, but it was also like he was pissed at me for something. Just something about his face and his body language.

The question was what? Hell if I knew. Lord knew there were a lot of possible reasons for the people I’d left behind in town to be mad at me. Being gone for 13 years except at the reunion? Not talking to anyone but Carl?

It didn’t really matter, and I wasn’t annoyed with the idea Joe might be mad at me. I’d drawn into myself for my own reasons, but to everyone else, it must have seemed selfish.

Maybe he even knew about the one-night stand I’d had with Aspyn and didn’t approve. The more I thought about it, the more likely that seemed.

He was a responsible guy, the mayor of Livingston. A married guy with kids like him probably thought I was one step above a drifter with the way I’d been living my life. I couldn’t even say he was wrong.

It wasn’t like I had an excuse for not talking to anyone. Yeah, my dad died, but I wasn’t a little kid. I should have manned up more and dealt with it, reached out to people, let them know I still gave a damn, both about my life and theirs.

I gritted my teeth as I took a corner harder than I should. For a second, I thought I was going to lose control of the truck.

I just kept fucking things up no matter what I did. Because I couldn’t man up and deal with my problems head-on. That’s why I had to go hide on Carl’s ranch instead of settling down and being happy for five damn minutes.

Happy with someone like Aspyn.

Damn it. I wanted her even more than I had at the reunion. Just seeing her again brought back everything: her laugh, her smile, her taste.

Yeah, including a little lust. My cock stirred at the memory of her moaning as I pounded her. We’d connected that night, body and soul. Ten years of longing smashed into one fantastic night that I’d never be able to forget.

Now the connection was all gone. Thrown away and scattered in the wind.

“Fuck,” I screamed, slamming my hand on the wheel.

It was nobody’s fault but my own, no matter how much I wanted to blame someone else. I knew that. I just didn’t want to accept it.

The harsh truth was I’d been offered a golden chance the night of the reunion. We’d connected. We’d slept together, for crying out loud.

Then I had my accident, and I let it destroy me. My body might have taken a while to heal, but my mind was still healing.

My phone being wrecked was an excuse, but it wasn’t like I couldn’t have reached out to Carl to give Aspyn my new number. Maybe if I’d called her from the hospital and explained things, then she would have understood. Or even after the hospital. Then, maybe, just maybe.

Maybe what? We’d be married, and the kid would be mine instead?

I scoffed. Fat damn chance.

Seeing that little girl had blown past all the calm I thought I’d had. Of course, Aspyn had moved on. A beautiful woman like her had no reason not to move on. What was she supposed to do? Wait around for another 10 years until I strolled back into town?

My hands tightened around the steering wheel until it creaked. I should have been a real man. A real man wouldn’t have pussed out because he’d gotten hurt and didn’t want to look weak in front of his woman. The joke was on me. I’d been a damn coward, and I’d lost my chance.

It was too damn late. I had to give Aspyn up. She had another man and his child now.

That’s what I should have been telling myself, but I couldn’t bring myself to do that.

I couldn’t give her up. Not entirely. It was dumb. I knew that.