Cowboy Baby Daddy

Perri blew out a breath and nodded. “I hate to say it, but I think Carl was right.”

“Carl?”

“He really was hell-bent.” Perri winced and glanced over at the picture of Jesus. She cleared her throat. “He was the one who said from the beginning that you should tell Alex. I guess honesty really is the best policy.”

“What about all that stuff about him betraying me?”

She shrugged. “You were right before. Carl is the only one who was doing the good Christian thing throughout all of this and saying we should be honest. Alex didn’t call. You kept his kid from him, and Joe and I both helped you.” She pursed her lips. “Just don’t tell him I said any of this. The last thing he needs is to get cockier.”

I groaned as I thought over everything Perri had told me. Honesty. It sounded so simple when she said it, but being honest when you knew it could cause pain was hard. The only question was, whose pain was I worried about: Alex’s or my own?

After all the anguish, all the struggle, the answer was obvious. Painfully obvious, even.

After sparing a quick look around to make sure no one else was there but Jesus, I said, “I have to tell Alex, don’t I?”

“Yeah. I think you should.” Perri gave me a sympathetic look and nodded once. “It’s gonna hurt, but now that he’s back, I think it’s gonna hurt more if you don’t tell him sooner than later. Joe and I were wrong. Carl was right.” She grimaced at the last sentence.

I leaned against the wall, a hand on my face. All my stability gone in a few days.

Things had been good. I had everything handled with my life and daughter. Then Alex had come back and wrecked everything.

No. Perri was right. I wanted to blame him for everything, but we’d both played our parts.

I complained about him not calling me, but I’d gone out of my way to not contact him either. Carl had wanted to tell him and knew how to get ahold of him. If I hadn’t been so stubborn, then Alex would have known way sooner. Maybe, just maybe, we could have salvaged something before all this anger had piled on top of me.

“Thanks, Perri,” I said softly. “For everything.”

I embraced her, and she hugged me and patted my back.

With a final smile, I headed into the lobby to find Mama. “I have to make a call really quickly, and then I’ll be right back.”

My mama nodded, and I strode into the parking lot. A good minute of walking found me a nice corner behind a tree where no one else was around.

It was time to make things right and act instead of reacting. I dialed Alex’s number.

He answered on the first ring.

“I want to talk to you again,” I said.

“Okay,” he said quietly. “You got me. So talk.”

“No, not over the phone. This is important. I want to talk to you face-to-face.”

The beats of silence ticked by. “Maybe later tonight?”

“No, I have to do things with Mama and Kadie. How about Monday? I go to lunch at noon. We can chat in the conference room at town hall. No one has it reserved.”

“Okay, then. I’ll see you then.”

“See you then.”

I hung up.

“Lord, give me strength,” I whispered. It was already past noon, so in less than 24 hours, I would finally tell him the truth.

I wasn’t sure if he knew or not. Sometimes, I suspected he did, but he hadn’t pushed as much as someone who thought he had a kid would.

No. The more I thought about it, the less I thought Carl had told him. The guy had his faults, but he never went back on his word. At least, I hoped.