No way I was going to find a way back into my daughter’s life by having a fight with her mother.
I held up my hands. “Look, I wanted to prove that I’m not leaving again. I figured the best way to do that was buy a house. It’s not like I can just run. I honestly want to be part of my daughter’s life.” I shrugged. “I also want to be part of yours if you want it, but I get it. I screwed up before, and maybe that ship has sailed, but no matter what happens between us, now that I know that I have a daughter, I can’t pretend like she’s not there.”
Aspyn’s expression softened, and she blew out a soft breath. She was silent for a long while.
“I get it,” she finally said. “I just have to think about all of this. I thought I knew how I felt about all of this, but I guess I don’t.”
“What are you saying, then?” Despite the tightness in my chest, I kept my voice even. More yelling and carrying on wouldn’t help.
“Just saying I have a lot to think about. I don’t know how I feel about anything.” She turned and called out, “Kadie, come on. We’re going home.”
“But I’m playing with blocks, Mama,” the little girl whined back.
“Now, Kadence,” Aspyn shouted, her face red. She hurried into the other room and picked Kadie up. Without another word, she headed out.
My daughter, at least, waved to me as they stepped outside.
I stood there for a long time, just staring at the door, wondering what the hell had gone wrong. I ran through the conversation again in my mind, wondering if I should have said something different or offered something else.
In the end, I didn’t know what I should have done or said. I nodded to myself. Yeah, I was a man who could admit his mistakes, but at the same time, Aspyn had to meet me halfway.
Freaking out because I wanted to pay child support struck me as weird. If I hadn’t paid, she would have probably called me a deadbeat dad. I figured it was probably her still working through her feelings about me even being around again.
Was she trying to set me up to fail no matter what?
Not that I was one to complain about someone having trouble handling their feelings. I’d not exactly done great with that.
Someone knocked on the door, and my heart kicked up. Maybe she’d come back to apologize.
I headed over to the door and opened it with a smile.
Aspyn and my daughter weren’t there. Carl was, a dark and worried look on his face.
I blinked, surprised. He had a lot of work to take care at the ranch, and I didn’t want him neglecting his work to help me out with the house.
“Hey, bro,” he said glumly.
“Hey, Carl,” I said evenly.
He couldn’t even look me in the eye. That didn’t fill me with confidence.
“Just figured I’d stop by,” he said.
“You got something to say?”
Maybe something had gone wrong. Maybe the lawyers or the bankers had said this whole thing wasn’t going to work.
Carl just stood there, staring at his feet like he’d got caught stealing grandma’s cookies.
“Come on,” I prodded. “Tell me what the hell is going on.”
“Okay, okay,” Carl said, lifting his head and finally locking gazes with me. “I gotta talk to you about something, bro. Something important.”
Chapter 23
Aspyn
Booze. Lots of booze. That’s what I needed when Saturday evening finally snuck up on me. That’s what I was thinking to myself as I stepped into the Wild Mustang and sat down at a table. No one else had arrived yet, which left me alone with my thoughts and Carrie Underwood singing on the radio.