Cowboy Baby Daddy

“Hey, I’m not judging you for whatever it is that you’re doing, Remy,” I said defensively. “I’m just saying that your daughter has been bouncing around the house all morning excited about spending time with you, and this is going to disappoint her.”

“She’ll live,” Remy said coolly.

“You’re such a cold bitch sometimes; you know that?” I shot back angrily. During our entire marriage, Remy had always been interested in one thing above all else: Remy. I had hoped that she might place Nina a little bit above herself, but this just proved that a leopard never changed its spots.

“I may be cold, but I’m the one who will be putting our daughter through college, so you should probably be a little nicer to me about the choices I have to make when it comes to building her college fund,” Remy hissed. “I don’t have the luxury of an enormous pension. I stayed at home with our daughter for the first 10 years of her life, remember?”

“Don’t blame me for the choices you made, Remy,” I warned.

“We made them, Blake. We agreed that I’d stay home and raise our children,” she said angrily.

“Children. Plural. We had one child, and you decided we shouldn’t have any more, remember?” I shot back.

“Do not blame me for the fact that I didn’t want to have any more children, Blake Gaston!” Remy raged. “You swore you wouldn’t ever use that as ammunition!”

“You’re right; I was wrong. I’m sorry,” I sighed. “Remy, she’s just going to be really disappointed. She wanted to see you.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Remy said, in a voice that wavered on the edge of tears. I knew she was trying as hard as she could to do what she needed to do, and I kicked myself for making it more difficult.

“Do you want to talk to her or am I the one who has to break the news?” I asked.

“Can you tell her?” she asked. “I’m on my way to a meeting with a client, and if I talk to her right now, I’m going to end up ruining my makeup.”

“Jesus, Remy…” I said, trailing off before I launched into a lecture on how keeping up appearances wasn’t nearly as important as reassuring her daughter that she loved her and was sorry for disappointing her.

“Don’t start, Blake,” Remy warned.

“Fine, I’ll handle it,” I said. “When are you coming back?”

“Friday at the latest, but I’m really hoping that I can wrap this up and be back by Wednesday,” she said, as I heard her flick the turn signal in the car. “Yikes, I’m here. I have to go! I’ll call Nina tonight and explain! Thanks, Blake!”

She disconnected, and I stood staring at the screen of my phone for a full minute as I tried to get my thoughts together. I tucked the phone in my pocket, shut off the water, and headed toward Nina’s room. I stood outside her door and took a deep breath before I tapped on it.

“Punkin, Mom just called,” I said, as I pushed the door open. Nina was sitting on the edge of her bed furiously tapping on her phone. She looked up at me like a deer caught in the headlights and quickly dimmed the screen.

“What?” she said, tucking the phone under her leg.

“Mom just called and said she’s going to have to head out of town again, so she can’t make it today,” I said, bracing myself for the dramatic reaction I was about to have to deal with.

“Are you kidding me?” Nina asked quietly. “Did she really say that?”

“Yeah, she said she’s really sorry, and that she’ll call you tonight after she’s done with her meetings and explain,” I said, watching the emotions rapidly cross Nina’s face. I wasn’t quite sure where they would stop, but I wanted to be close in case she needed me. I added, “She was really sad that she couldn’t make it home today. She was looking forward to your day together.”

“Yeah, sure,” Nina said, flopping back on her bed and staring up at the ceiling. “Whatever.”

“Nina, Mom loves you,” I said. “She’s doing the best she can.”

“I know,” Nina said in a flat voice. “Whatever.”

“C’mon, get up,” I said, trying to think of a way to pull her out of the dark place she was headed. “We’ll go to Newbury Street and get you that jacket you wanted. How about that?”

“It’s okay, Dad,” she said, without looking at me. “It wasn’t that important. Can I be alone for a little while?”

“Sure,” I said backing out of the room. “I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me, okay?”

“Uh-huh,” she said, still staring up at the ceiling.

I cursed Remy under my breath the entire time I was washing breakfast dishes and wondered how I could pull Nina out of the funk before she did something destructive. When Remy and I first separated, Nina had taken it hard and had wound up fighting with a couple of girls at school. We’d taken her to a counselor who’d helped her deal with the emotions she was feeling about the divorce, and after a short time, Nina stopped fighting, but old habits die hard, and whenever she felt bad, Nina would revert to destructive behavior as a coping mechanism. This time I wanted to stop it before it started.